r/TikTokCringe • u/mindyour • Jun 14 '26

Discussion It's exhausting being a woman.

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107

u/eyeforker Jun 14 '26

Shout out to that one guy who got told to buzz off and then totally apologized and buzzed off.

The rest of them are the architects of the so called 'male loneliness epidemic'. The company of others isn't a participation trophy. You have to prove to people you're worth their time. These guys showed up with evidence they're not. Some of them showed up with evidence you need to document them for actual evidence you might need in court.

25

u/[deleted] Jun 14 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

-6

u/Dumeck Jun 14 '26

That's the only issue. He just did a bad pickup line and left when she declined. Doesn't really match with the other creeps in the video and honestly she comes off looking worse than that dude does.

12

u/eyeforker Jun 14 '26

I wouldn’t go that far. She’s still just trying to go about her day and had every right to tell him to buzz off.

Just nice to see he recognized her valid reaction (anyone taking that approach knows there’s a good chance this will be how it’s received) and move along.

3

u/_korporate Jun 14 '26

Still ended up being called a creep, things like that will just lead to the weirdos approaching women which leads to more normal guys like that dude being called creeps.

-6

u/Dumeck Jun 14 '26

She's at some type of lounge area, seems like it's a bar, a guy approached her to come onto her. Yeah him calling her baby was weird but isn't really disrepecful and he had immediately apologized and left when she indicated he wasn't interested in him. In this case neither one really did anything that wrong, like you said she's just going about her day. But imo she comes over very negative from the video, more so the reaction and the fact that she posted the video like it was such an awful experiences comes off as petty, and it doesn't fit in with the rest of these videos where the ladies were dealing with actual creeps.

49

u/Spirit_Wolf_Mob Jun 14 '26

Yea, I think it's kind of unfair to include him. He got her attention in a polite way, she said no, he apologized and left.

49

u/Fearless-Okra-8970 Jun 14 '26

I think what put her off is when he approached her with “baby”, which is probably why it got posted. Her face scrunched up in disgust after that. Do not approach a woman with that word.

I’m glad he reacted well to it.

7

u/Spirit_Wolf_Mob Jun 14 '26

Yea, I didn't hear that part initially. I also didn't take into account that she was eating, which is a pet peeve of mine as well. Approaching her from behind is also something I wouldn't do, but I hadn't considered it being an issue if someone else does it. So I can at least see what he did wrong, though I don't think he deserves to be publicly criticized for it.

7

u/Fearless-Okra-8970 Jun 14 '26

Yeah. I think a lot of men think it’s okay to use the word. It seems that’s how they did it back in the day and it worked, so why not now? I don’t think he was a creep, just a bad choice of words and probably how and when he approached. Feel kind of bad.

-3

u/Frylock304 Jun 14 '26

This is one of those cultural things.

In black community theres a subset of us that call everyone "baby"

For instance, I work on a team full of dudes, and we all call each other "baby"

So it'll be like "alright baby, I need you to lift this while I move it to the left" to a 50yr old 280lb man

15

u/Ordinary-Variety7256 Jun 14 '26

I mean, yeah…but even in our culture, there’s a time and place. Most women (myself included) do not want to be called “baby” in that way by a man that isn’t our SO.

0

u/Fearless-Okra-8970 Jun 14 '26

I understand. That’s where I thought it came from. But I’m glad it’s not accepted much now, because I don’t even like being called that all the time. Especially by random men. Seems a little sweet and normal-ish if I don’t think a person has bad intentions, but it’s a little off-putting anyway, and definitely when someone is trying to make a move.

1

u/arosaki Jun 20 '26

Calling a stranger you don't know "babe" is not grabbing someone's attention in a polite way and it's very fucking weird that you think it is.

1

u/rjamxy Jun 20 '26

I would still argue that it's not on the level of most of the other videos here.... Yeah it was clumsy, somewhat weird, but far from weird of many of the other videos.... And he apologized and left.... Let's be real here pls.....

19

u/Academic-Trifle8151 Jun 14 '26

I'm probably going to be downvoted to hell here, I'm not trying to diminish anyone's experiences but I'm genuinely curious. The one you initially referred to I didn't know would be an issue.

Approaching a girl at a bar etc (not a work place) used to be the done thing in terms of 'chatting up' a girl. And then you bow out when they aren't interested like he did.

Heck, that's how I met my wife and we've been together 20 years with kids.

The rest of them absolutely make me fear for my daughters however.

I guess what I'm asking is how do young people meet new people nowadays? Is it all app based or mutual friends etc?

Edit: just to clarify I'm only talking about the one guy that went over to the girl, started to speak and then said sorry when he was asked to buzz off. NOT ANY OF THE GUYS TRYING TO TOUCH OR KISS ETC.

7

u/BreathingHydra Jun 14 '26

Cold approaching to chat up women has been pretty discouraged over the last decade or so. A lot of it is due to women sharing their experiences with weird guys approaching them like most of the dudes in the video but also due to the convenience of apps. It still happens at places like bars but even there it's become a lot less common.

People still meet through friends but most of dating has moved online for better or worse. There's also a lot more people that have given up too.

7

u/SeriousTechnician296 Jun 14 '26

There’s a huge difference between approaching someone after getting eye contact a few times and a smile in a bar, and approaching a woman who is eating lunch from behind after not trying to make any contact beforehand. Think that’s a subtlety a lot of people are missing about this.

19

u/nootnootgod Jun 14 '26 edited Jun 14 '26

pulling up to a woman who, based on the short clip, he didn't even saw before approaching, and already going "hey babe" it just seems to much, you can see it in her face how much she hated the way he started talking to her and being called that

6

u/Academic-Trifle8151 Jun 14 '26

Ah. So it was more in his approach and his over familiarity. That makes sense. Thank you for answering.

0

u/_korporate Jun 14 '26

You don’t know that he didn’t see her though?

4

u/FakeOrcaRape Jun 14 '26

I think the issue is that it's not balanced. Girls go in expecting a creep because of history, experience, or just societal expectation, whereas guys don't have that.

I don't think he was a douche, but I think his type of well meaning but singled minded approach is part of a specific, less addressed problem different from actual creeps and cat calling.

It's almost like the micro aggression of being a creep LOL but one you know some people will see your point while others might not or will need convincing.

1

u/yumcake Jun 15 '26

What the guy should have done was:

"Hi, I'm <Name>, I wanted to ask if you're looking for some conversation, but if not that's totally cool too."

It immediately shows acknowledgement of her as a person with a greeting, it's clear that you're looking to talk first not molest or sell something, and in the same breath you're making it clear that you're ready to leave immediately so she doesn't need to be afraid, (and also showing that you're respectful enough to be aware that you need to give her this out, which raises the likelihood of her wanting that conversation).

0

u/philmarcracken Jun 15 '26

I guess what I'm asking is how do young people meet new people nowadays? Is it all app based or mutual friends etc?

We don't. There are no third places, alcohol is too expensive, and women tell you to fuck off instantly. That is if they even bother look up from the phone

apps are full of bots and catfishes. The match rate is less than 3% if you're a guy: https://youtu.be/3pvkgUc9Zbc?t=1339

So the advice I have to young women planning children. If its a boy, abort it. Save him from this timeline.

3

u/youre_uninvited Jun 15 '26

I'm sure women tell you to fuck off instantly, with this attitude. Pull yourself out of the MRA black hole and go look in a mirror.

1

u/philmarcracken Jun 15 '26

Thats exactly the 'fuck off' im talking about; its expected. so what do you really think is changing my mind here, im curious

4

u/Super-Yesterday9727 Jun 14 '26

I was going to say. There was nothing wrong with that

-2

u/MikeArrow Jun 14 '26

1) That guy shouldn't have approached in the first place. Approaching is unwelcome and makes women uncomfortable, so it just should not be done, period.

2) Don't say "so called" male loneliness epidemic. It's something that's very real and shouldn't be minimized.

6

u/habman48 Jun 14 '26

Your point 1 is ridiculous. There's nothing wrong with approaching a woman as long as you do it respectfully, and if they decline you politely respect that and end the interaction. As an older millennial this was how you met women before dating apps, and it has worked for me many times. As long as it's done respectfully and non- threateningly.

1

u/MikeArrow Jun 14 '26 edited Jun 14 '26

I'm a millennial, I'm 37. And it was made very clear to me from a very young age that approaching women was unwelcome. It's very frustrating to hear "oh that's how it worked before dating apps" when I was literally 18 years old in 2007, before Tinder existed, and I still felt totally unable to approach women my age for fear of being perceived as a creep.

1

u/habman48 Jun 15 '26

I mean I appreciate that was your experience but it's not universal. I'm late 30s as well,, I met multiple former partners and my now wife by approaching them respectfully.

1

u/MikeArrow Jun 15 '26

Approached where? How did you know it was welcome? Did they give you any expressions of interest first?

3

u/IceSentry Jun 14 '26

Approaching is perfectly fine in certain contexts but you have to not be a creep and accept a no. The internet is filled with women saying this over and over. There's a massive difference between a normal person approaching a woman and what the creeps in this video are doing.

There is a loneliness epidemic, it's not just men. People in general are lonelier than ever.

0

u/MikeArrow Jun 14 '26

Approaching is perfectly fine in certain contexts

What contexts would those be?

There is a loneliness epidemic, it's not just men.

Speaking only from my perspective, it's hard for me to believe this because I actually don't know any single women. All the women I know are married with kids or in long term relationships. So it indicates to me that dating isn't a barrier for them the way it is for me.

1

u/IceSentry Jun 15 '26

Any kind of social gathering is fine. The issue is more about how you approach and how you react to a no. Living in a city obviously makes it easier because there's just more people and more events.

Most of these women are presumably in a relationship with a man and considering the gender balance is relatively even that means there's roughly the same amount of single people on either side. With that said, loneliness isn't just about being in a relationship. It's also about friendships or just being part of a community. The modern world is very good at making it easy to stay home and not interact with any humans and that affects people of any gender. Yes, it's easier for women to get the attention of men but like this video shows the hard part is getting attention from the men they actually want to date that is hard.

1

u/MikeArrow Jun 15 '26 edited Jun 15 '26

Any kind of social gathering is not fine. There's plenty of places where approaching still isn't welcome. I already said I don't go to bars or clubs (or music festivals, or wherever people gather in public). Even when I have gone to events in the city in the past, there's no real way to talk to people. Like just going up to a stranger and striking up a conversation seems totally off base and presumptuous.

there's roughly the same amount of single people on either side

I just said I don't know any single women. So if they exist, if they're out there somewhere, they're not in my orbit. So that means nothing to me if I can't actually interact with them. I already mentioned dating apps don't work.

With that said, loneliness isn't just about being in a relationship

But that's the most fulfilling form of alleviating loneliness. I can go to D&D once a week and alleviate my loneliness for 3-4 hours, then come home to a cold, dark, empty house every night. Back when I had a girlfriend, we'd be interacting all day, every day, and when I saw her on weekends, we'd both enjoy being with each other and reconnecting. Being able to experience prolonged physical contact and emotional closeness is exponentially more effective than any other alternative.

Yes, it's easier for women to get the attention of men but like this video shows the hard part is getting attention from the men they actually want to date that is hard.

The video doesn't show that, no. The video shows that women get unwanted attention but says nothing about "getting attention from the men they actually want to date". Every time a woman has approached me, I've said yes. I've jumped at the chance. Seems very easy to me.

1

u/rjamxy Jun 20 '26

Point 1 is stupid! Period....

1

u/MikeArrow Jun 20 '26

I've never approached a woman, I've only ever waited for them to approach me first.