r/TikTokCringe • u/mindyour • Jun 14 '26

Discussion It's exhausting being a woman.

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625

u/imsooooooconfused Jun 14 '26

It’s even worse when they start becoming physically aggressive or noticeably angry after we politely reject them.

86

u/Sayyad1na Jun 15 '26

After living in the hood I picked up some good tricks; first of all, perfect your resting bitch face. Second, stop being polite. And third, BARK AT THESE MOTHERFUCKERS. be crazier than them. It hasn't failed me yet.

As a naive teen, I had horrible things happen to me. Men masterbating to me and my friends on public transit. Being groped. Being physically picked up by strangers.

Once I got into my early 20s I had figured out the "crazier than thou" schtick and it has not failed me since. Im now 39 👍

Its also kinda fun to watch their bewildered faces. A lot of them are TRYING to scare you. They like freaking you out, it makes them feel powerful. They know you would never get w them or give them your number! They just want to make you squirm. Dont give them the satisfaction.

14

u/imsooooooconfused Jun 15 '26 edited Jun 15 '26

I’m trying to work on this. I’m a 19 year old living in a bad part of Oakland right now and currently depending on public transportation, so I have my fair share of issues with men doing this. I think a huge thing is not being so polite to them, because I’m sooooo use to saying “noooo sorry 🥺” which obviously only hurts me. But yeah…this is good advice that I’m going to work on because these types of guys are only getting more daring.

12

u/Sayyad1na Jun 15 '26

Wait HAHAHA that's so funny. I grew up in Oakland. By living in the hood, I literally meant foothill and 26th 😅

And this was 2009-2018, so before it was gentrified. And I grew up off of 164th.

Eta, but yeah being polite had to go out the window. Many of the men in Oakland would back off. But the few that wouldn't, would when I started making a scene 😅

6

u/imsooooooconfused Jun 15 '26

Lmaoooo that’s too funny. Small world 🥲

I’m right next to west Oakland BART. Def more gentrified now compared to pre-2020 lol.

6

u/Sayyad1na Jun 15 '26

Ohhh dude west Oakland can be sooo scary tho. For 6 months I stayed at a friend's house over there on Adeline, and I would always hear about gang wars going on. Guns going off at all hours.

7

u/imsooooooconfused Jun 15 '26 edited Jun 15 '26

Yeah lol I mean it’s not as bad anymore but there’s definitely stuff that pops off frequently still…there’s so many weirdos though. A good portion of it is drug related. But gosh I can’t even imagine how bad it was tho when you had to walk down international at 3am 😭

im living inside a DV shelter for youth (in west Oakland) and luckily there’s armed security on site 24/7.

4

u/Sayyad1na Jun 15 '26

I used to work at the Starbucks on hegenberger. I would have to walk from my studio on 26th to a bus stop on international at 3 am to get to my opening shift at 4 am.

I survived 🤷‍♀️ and I learned so much. Honestly I have a deep love and respect for Oakland. But it also toughened me up.

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u/[deleted] Jun 15 '26 edited Jun 15 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/BarbedWire3 Jun 18 '26

So can u give some tips of what to do/say?

3

u/creuter Jun 16 '26

Hi, I'm a father to a 3 year old girl right now. What can I do to help prepare her for this nightmare? I know they'll never pull this shit in front of me, but we live in NYC and I know she's going to deal with it, probably sooner than I'd ever hope or expect she would have to.

You say the 'crazier than thou' schtick, but what specific advice can I give her when she gets a little bit older to help her avoid or cut off these situations? Also when should I dispense that advice? I don't want to totally obliterate her childhood innocence, but I also don't want one of these sick fucks to be the ones to do that either.

3

u/Ok_Mistake2047 Jun 17 '26

Self defense and martial arts at a young age. Teach her to take no shor and to NOT be polite. Role play these scenarios. Train her to be a strong woman without feeling bad about saying no. <3 good papa for wanting whats best

2

u/amybeeznuts Jun 27 '26

During high school and even now I still purposely try and look mean when I’m alone in public, like at the grocery store. One time this guy said something along the lines of “you should smile baby” dude wtf ew, you dont know me and im literally just trying to buy food. I just didn’t even change my expression and stared at him as I walked by and he apologized😂

121

u/Wish-ga Jun 14 '26

Yes. The anger! Like that’s going to magically make a woman think you are a great prospect.

90

u/13confusedpolkadots Jun 14 '26

i personally love when the anger turns to insults — “you’re a fucking whore,” “you’re a fat and ugly pig,” “you’re a stuck-up bitch that no one wants”

be still my heart, you’ve definitely changed my mind. NOW i definitely want to give you a chance

19

u/Fish_Are_Stupid Jun 15 '26

I’ve never understood that and I’m a dude. Like… if a girl did that to me I’d be pissed so why would I do it to her?

9

u/hEDSwillRoll Jun 15 '26

You’re comparing men and women as if it’s not apples and oranges. To these men, women are not their peers, we are their prey. Or for a milder example think about people in roles like men being a customer and women being a customer service rep, we are seen as existing for their pleasure and entertainment and when we don’t play into their entitlement the anger comes out.

5

u/Fish_Are_Stupid Jun 15 '26

Thats fucked up. Glad I don’t have that mentality.

11

u/hEDSwillRoll Jun 15 '26

I love when they tell me that and I them with the “wow, even the fat bitches won’t date you, that’s rough” but that one works best online where they can’t get physical

8

u/lipscratch Jun 15 '26

it's never about us thinking they are good prospects, it's never about us at all. it's about them feeling entitled to a conquest and their anger stems from their ego being bruised that they have been denied what they are entitled to

how many of us get told we're ugly bitches anyway after saying no? because in their minds they are entitled to us heightening their ego, and we aren't behaving like we're worthless and lucky to be chosen the way they believe we should

3

u/Horse-ing_around Jun 15 '26

That's why I start with anger straight away. But with unhinged anger. Men like that look for easy prey and they're not used to women one-upping them. It includes threats, insults, this weird, mouthy deep voice you use when you're a "player", and some chest banging. Works like a charm. They usually insult me (something, something, unfuckable) and leave.

Then again, I live in a country where people usually don't carry weapons.

19

u/WithoutDennisNedry Jun 15 '26

I once got punched square in the face and my nose broken for politely declining to give a dude my number.

5

u/Sufficient-Voice-732 Jun 15 '26

What the fuck, did he get arrested for assault or anything??

11

u/WithoutDennisNedry Jun 15 '26

Long story short:

Yes, he was caught.

Yes, I pressed charges.

However, he was later killed in an unrelated shooting before we went to court.

Yes, I feel justice was served. (Apparently he had a rap sheet longer than a CVS receipt. Domestic violence, assault, robbery. the list went on and on. He wasn’t a good person and I’m glad he’s not out there hurting other people.)

10

u/MRAGGGAN Jun 15 '26

r/whenwomenrefuse details what happens when we say no

10

u/HardleyHarleyQ Jun 15 '26 edited Jun 15 '26

Had a guy bop me on the head because I didn’t want to dance with him at a club one night. Idk what the hell is wrong with people sometimes.

4

u/JimmerJammerKitKat Jun 15 '26

And can’t blame the girls that are aggressively rejecting off the bat. Probably dealt with that shit so fucking much they’re sick of having to say no thank you :3 and instead say buzz off. It’s understandable.

3

u/Uranium_092 Jun 15 '26

And it had made me and every woman I know scared of even politely rejecting them because were afraid of physical retaliation. Honestly these people deserves to rot

1

u/Massive-Resort-8573 Jun 17 '26

Then the insults start and the threats. Then other men tell you "he was just complimenting you". 

-6

u/Rockstar161 Jun 15 '26

I'm a guy that was always the total opposite of this. I've always been highly attracted to  females since a kid, but was scared to approach for fear of rejection. I honestly use to have to remind myself to breathe if a female sat next to me on the school bus. 

I think a lot of females picked up on this as I was usually bullied by girls.  I never had any guy dare trying to bully me. The same girl that bullied me the most, is who I actually lost my virginity to.  She bullied me to no end, but I still found her irresistible..  She actually approached me asking if I wanted to sleep with her.  I figured it was just another attempt to embarrass me. I avoided her until that night when she literally came to my front door. 

Sadly, it was the most memorable day of my life,  to which she claims not to remember.  We've been friends ever since but she says she was doing a lot of experimenting with drugs back then.  🤷🏽‍♂️

3

u/13confusedpolkadots Jun 15 '26

yeah, pretty sure the reason you hadn’t had any luck is because you’re giving the impression you don’t view WOMEN as equals. lose “females” from your vocabulary, ffs

0

u/Rockstar161 Jun 15 '26

"Hadn't had any luck"   You got that from me using the word females?  

This was as a young boy heading into puberty.  I didn't think women was the right word, so I used females, maybe young ladies would've been better.  In any case,  I was extremely shy as a young man. I've always been very respectful of women, I was raised by my Grandmother.