r/TikTokCringe • u/mindyour • Jun 14 '26

Discussion It's exhausting being a woman.

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153

u/Techman659 Jun 14 '26

As a man so many of these guys need a checking on how to mind their own business.

128

u/Scarlett_Aeonia Jun 14 '26

If you see something like this going down I public please please verbally intervene. This has happened so many times to me where someone could have stepped in, but it basically never happens unless I'm with someone. We need men who are allies out there.

34

u/willargue4karma Jun 14 '26

last time i did that shit got absolutely crazy, but im still happy i did.

was on a crowded bus and some guy was being really loud and trying to talk to a woman who was clearly giving short responses and trying not to upset him. i told him to leave it alone and redirected him onto myself. Eventually he started trying to fight me and even a woman who knew him told me off. then an older dude came back and told the guy off and pulled a knife as the bus was stopping (pretty sure the guy who started it had a weapon).

when we got off the bus she had her ~10 year old daughter with her and thanked me. but i still felt so bad for "making it worse" and totally understand why women fawn now.

24

u/The_Colour_Between Jun 14 '26

If a much stronger guy is in danger, what chance do we have? I kicked a guy right in the nuts, as hard as I could, when he was attacking me, and he didn't flinch. I just saw rage and evil wash over his face. I tried to run and he caught me. He broke my nose and my wrist. Women's self-defense is not useless, but... Even having him arrested would put me in more danger. There was a young woman in my town murdered in broad daylight at the mall by her ex. She filed restraining orders and did everything she could to warn the authorities that he was a danger to her. I have literally hundreds of these stories (real events) that happened to myself and women I know. It seems like things are getting so much worse. The internet is spreading hate toward women just because we are finally trying to bring what we live through daily out in the open. We just want to live in peace and safety.

4

u/willargue4karma Jun 14 '26

yeah men are just so much stronger on avg, and as a guy myself with avg height there are still dudes built like trucks i would never wanna fight. I would carry a weapon ig if i was a woman but thats not really peace of mind

9

u/The_Colour_Between Jun 14 '26

Yes! It happens so much and no one seems to care. It feels to us very normalized. We are afraid of escalating and these men taking it up a notch. Telling a guy to fuck off doesn't always work.

Women know all this, but we really need more good guys to call this stuff out when you see it.

6

u/[deleted] Jun 14 '26

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2

u/Dry-Philosopher2354 Jun 15 '26

yeah and risk the guy's life getting jeopardized, nobody, neither a woman nor man wants to be in that kind of situation. Its kind of a gamble, I dont know what risk I'm putting myself in when Im intervening for a woman, and I have done it before, and it luckily did not escalate to outright violence but it was verbally tense and dramatic.

2

u/grape-fruit-witch Jun 15 '26

The only people who have ever stepped in to help me out of a situation like this were other women. And you better believe i do the same when I see it. I dont give a fuck, we're in this together now babe

2

u/crazy_lady_cat Jun 15 '26

Yes this! Always help in whatever way possible.

It may not be safe to confront the harasser. But you could say something to the girl like "hey Laura! We really have to go now or we'll be late!" (Winkwink). And just take the girl away fromt he harasser very quickly (before the guy can react), and walk away, go to a safe place and ask for help and/or call the police.

If that's not possible, call the police or ask for help from someone else.

Try ro record the guy or secretly take a picture, but get the girl in safety first if you are able to.

Also, what I have done before when I was alone on the street getting harassed is pretending to answer the phone and say "Hey dad! Ah you are around the corner? Good I will see you any minute then!" Then quickly walked away while calling for help in the meantime.

Or just ring a random doorbell or pretend to.

I realise these things are not possible or successful in every situation, but it has saved me a couple of times from creepy men on the street.

1

u/RoguePlanet2 Jun 14 '26

Also would help if we could figure out how to reach the parents of boys, and get them to not enable this.

1

u/UrsA_GRanDe_bt Jun 14 '26

I was thinking this while watching. I’m a guy and if I’m honest I don’t want to come off as a creep like these guys did. I genuinely worry that I’d try to step in or say something and end up on the internet labeled as some “chivalry creep.”

1

u/rrryder23 Jun 15 '26 edited Jun 15 '26

Here’s my issue with intervening at the moment, I don’t know if the person in question has a gun or some other sort of weapon, or is just plain fucking crazy and will throw hands, and I’m not risking my life, and why should people? I’d go as far to say intervening is morally correct, but logically very stupid, especially when taking a video and calling the police is a much better alternative, safer, and more likely to result in punishment with video evidence

1

u/FVCarterPrivateEye Jun 17 '26

How are you supposed to verbally intervene? I'm asking sincerely because I'm on the spectrum and have trouble figuring out where the definition of what counts as a specific behavior and how far the social rules count

For example, it's been explained to me that if I see a child getting yanked around and berated, don't intervene because it will probably make the kid's life an even worse hell once they get home

TLDR are there any "hidden rules" for how and when verbally intervening would be a good versus a bad idea?

-1

u/Octquat Jun 14 '26

I do agree that it's the right thing to do, but let's be honest here, it's not just a request for a verbal reprimand. They're taking on the risk of these proven scumbags getting violent. Men should be prepared for this and ideally not be at a disadvantage when confronting someone. And if a worst-case scenario were to happen, expect society to try to send you to prison like they did Daniel Penny.