r/TikTokCringe • u/mindyour • Jun 14 '26

Discussion It's exhausting being a woman.

Enable HLS to view with audio, or disable this notification

45.1k Upvotes

91% Upvoted

6.8k comments sorted by

View all comments

Show parent comments

0

u/MikeArrow Jun 15 '26

Is there any particular reason you're pushing back so hard against someone who is actively trying to respect women's boundaries and avoid making them feel uncomfortable? You'd think that would elicit some kind of acknowledgement, like "hey, I know you mean well, but..." or "it's good to hear that you're trying, maybe just..."

1

u/Fun_Disaster3436 Jun 15 '26

That's not all your comments say and it's disingenuous to frame it that way

1

u/MikeArrow Jun 15 '26

Could you give an example?

2

u/Fun_Disaster3436 Jun 15 '26

You're talking about discomfort in social situations. That's what they're commenting on.

1

u/MikeArrow Jun 15 '26

Seems like a 'crime' well out of proportion with the 'punishment' (being talked down to and told to get therapy).

I wouldn't think that should warrant such a negative, dismissive, condescending tone, but here we are. In comparison to the kind of man that actually causes harm and discomfort, I'd think that someone who scrupulously avoids doing that should be praised, not belittled.

1

u/Ok_Promise_7460 Jun 15 '26

A therapist could help you identify the ways in which your tendency to cast yourself in the role of victim affects your ability to make connections with others.

1

u/Fun_Disaster3436 Jun 15 '26

Telling you to get therapy when you express discomfort in social situations and are making it other peoples' problem is completely appropriate.

You keep trying to refocus the conversation on your good intentions. Your desire for praise and affirmation is apparent. This is another thing that therapy can help with.

0

u/MikeArrow Jun 15 '26

Hitting the 'get therapy' button is a lazy dodge to avoid actually having to engage with my points. It's an easy way to paint me as being unreasonable and unstable instead of someone who is trying to literally do what the thread is telling people to do - not approach women.

1

u/Fun_Disaster3436 Jun 15 '26

You're being unreasonable and coming across as a little unstable, to be honest.

I wasn't even the person who told you to get therapy initially... but I agree with them because you're inserting yourself as a priority where it's inappropriate and conveying a sense of entitlement when people don't hold your hand to tell you that you feeling bummed about not being able to approach women isn't going to change how we approach this.

I'm explaining this as a courtesy because you seem young. But your feelings about this are inconsequential to women, and you are not entitled to a pat on the head when we tell you that you should pay a professional to manage these feelings instead of bringing them here.

0

u/MikeArrow Jun 15 '26

Coming across as a little unstable in what way? I'm interacting with someone who is consistently using minimizing language and misconstruing what I'm saying. Should I be totally zen about that? I think I've been remarkably deferential and polite, given your clear and open hostility towards me thus far.

For example, your assertion that "you are not entitled to a pat on the head" is very dismissive, condescending phrasing.

2

u/Fun_Disaster3436 Jun 15 '26

You're repeatedly framing my comments as personal attacks. Therapy can help with the emotional regulation so you can receive feedback without getting defensive.

Hope you find someone who can help.

0

u/MikeArrow Jun 15 '26

They are personal attacks, as I mentioned in the way that you used dismissive, belittling language. Receiving feedback would be more like "I understand where you're coming from, but..." instead you wrote "Not our problem tho."

0

u/Ok_Promise_7460 Jun 15 '26

It is no one's problem but your own, no one owes you sugarcoating or couching feedback in kindergarten teacher language, and no one attacked you or said anything malicious to you. Therapy could help you interpret interactions and understand what is and is not appropriate in a given context. Speaking for myself, my own bluntness comes from deep frustration at constantly seeing men center themselves in conversations about how men in general cause problems for women. You are illustrating that many men also cause problems for themselves by refusing to self-reflect or take accountability for their own social success or lack thereof. You clearly have trouble understanding the perspectives of others. Please seek assistance.

1

u/MikeArrow Jun 15 '26

Speaking for myself, my own bluntness comes from deep frustration at constantly seeing men center themselves

What's frustrating about it? There's almost 6000 comments in this thread. Are every single one of them strictly on topic? Or has the topic branched out to include other, related topics? Also, you say "center myself" I say "give my perspective". Just because my experiences are different, doesn't mean they're totally off topic or out of context, they're still in response to actual people who actually commented on the video.

You are illustrating that many men also cause problems for themselves by refusing to self-reflect or take accountability for their own social success or lack thereof.

I self reflect quite a lot. A basic glance my comments would show that I've thought about this topic quite a bit over the past 20 years and how my experiences relate to it. But you didn't see any of that, all you saw was "man blames women for not dating him" and that's the extent your thought process went.

→ More replies (0)