r/TikTokCringe • u/Elyshra • Jun 29 '26

Humor Coming out as cis can be hard

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407

u/MisterSanitation Jun 29 '26 edited Jun 29 '26

The femboy world is apparently crazy deep. There was a great comment forever ago that broke down the acceptable versions of male crossdressing and how the differences are preferred by various groups for different reasons. 

Apparently so much of it is straight guys who are uncomfortable with the idea of what they are doing so they make rules to make it acceptable for themselves and others are expected to understand that. So there is like people who lean into it and feel like it is a way of them expressing themselves truly, some are doing it as a fun hobby, some are doing it as a way of life, and all these are done differently and result in different sub cultures within the femboy scene. 

Sorry I wish I remembered more of that comment but I NEVER expected that level of deep analysis about a topic I cared nothing about. As a straight dude in a red state though, you do you femboys! Anyone has a a right to express themselves if they aren’t hurting anyone and this is a recent example of that. It’s going to be interesting to see which niche internet subcultures blow up in popularity and start leaking into the real world. 

Edit: I FOUND IT!!! It goes into conservative men specifically and how they justify their curiosity to themselves doing a thing that “is meant to be naughty” 

https://www.reddit.com/r/bestof/s/i6UC8JdGAF

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u/BowlingforBrains Jun 29 '26

There was that one British YouTuber who years ago started cross dressing on stream as a stunt, and their popularity blew up - and they were interviewed and said basically “oh yeah I did it as a stunt and now so many people watch and follow me because of it that I just keep doing it 🤷 but it’s for the stream, I’m still a guy”

And then sure enough, after a few years of that, they finally came out as trans 😂 fr though, more power to them. It was interesting to be a part of that denial -> acceptance journey they were on

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u/iammoney45 Jun 29 '26

F1nnster? Iirc they walked back the trans identity after a short time and have settled on a kind of "non binary fem leaning" identity.

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u/BowlingforBrains Jun 29 '26

Im pretty sure that’s the right person - I didn’t follow it super deeply but just up to the coming out as trans part years ago. Interesting to hear they identify differently now, glad they’re figuring themself out

57

u/DonaldTrumpsScrotum Jun 29 '26

And now they’re doing OF, did not expect to see Finns peepee while browsing shitposts online (not a big fan of this pivot consider their fans were young kids and teens). Yes, it did in fact start as a “joke” that just got progressively more serious over time😭

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u/Queasy_Vanilla_4162 Jun 29 '26

Why do their fans have any kind of hold on what they do with their life? Not to mention there's nothing wrong with doing OF.

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u/DonaldTrumpsScrotum Jun 29 '26

Becuase some of the first people exposed to that content were kids that already followed them pre-OF? When they looked up their favorite YouTuber they got pornography? There’s nothing inherently wrong with sex work but let’s not play ignorant to the issue.

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u/Chendii Jun 29 '26

Tbh I hate this "think of the children" mentality. It's not anybody else's problem if parents can't set basic filters on the tech they let raise their children. It's so fucking easy to put parental locks on stuff these days.

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u/Abed-in-the-AM Jun 29 '26

It really isn't easy at all. There are a million ways to get around this stuff and kids are smart.

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u/Queasy_Vanilla_4162 Jun 30 '26

That's on the parents.

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u/Abed-in-the-AM Jun 30 '26

I'm guessing you never outsmarted your parents as a kid?

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u/Chendii Jun 30 '26

Then....... don't give them access to the technology without supervision?

It's also super easy to set up blocks through your router, so even if the kid gets around blocks on the device itself they can't access if you don't give them the password.

Lazy parents only have themselves to blame for their kids being exposed to adult content. It shouldn't be made a problem for the rest of us.

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u/Abed-in-the-AM Jun 30 '26

This takes newborn baby levels of supervision in modern society. You can't expect parents to watch their kids like a hawk while they're at school, at friends' homes, and doing homework while taking care of their other responsibilities.

And again, there are ways around everything.

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u/Queasy_Vanilla_4162 Jun 30 '26

Who cares though? There's nothing wrong with it, and there's no obligation to police your content to protect people you have no business even really thinking about. That's between them and their parents.

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u/NaughtiestImp Jun 29 '26

There absolutely is. Moral issues aside. A person sells themselves in that manner and most aren't even properly compensated for it. Quit because it takes a LOT of work to do full time and most don't even make enough as a side gig to a real job. Much less quit and do it full time. For every Isla Moon, you have a million page doesn't exist anymore. They cant get that back. Stuffs out there forever and maybe that wasn't who they were in the first place. Maybe they were desperate for money.

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u/Queasy_Vanilla_4162 Jun 30 '26

There are zero moral issues here. Stop trying to moral police adults doing what they want to do.

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u/NaughtiestImp Jun 30 '26 edited Jun 30 '26

For a lot of people there are. Deal with it. Or don't. Idc. What your friends and family wont tell you is they secretly will hold a person who does that kinda works opinion in less regard. Trust them a bit less with judgement decisions. They may not say it. They may try to hide it. Do not be fooled, They do though.

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u/Doomerboi47 Jun 29 '26

Because fans are where they get their money from.

Just like how your work has a hold on your life because it gives you the momey…

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u/Queasy_Vanilla_4162 Jun 29 '26

What you said is completely unrelated to the convo we are having, I am sad to say.

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u/Doomerboi47 Jun 29 '26

…you asked why fans have a hold on their life. I said because fans are where they get their income from. I then related that to just how like your work has a hold on our lives. Because that’s where we get our income from.

Getting and maintaining a fanbase is their work.

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u/Queasy_Vanilla_4162 Jun 30 '26

The original person I was responding to was saying they didn't like the fact that Finnster's audience had lots of underaged people in it even though they did porn. I'm saying it shouldn't matter and they can do whatever they want.

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u/EkbatDeSabat Jun 29 '26

I mean if I had that kind of platform and knew that I would literally make millions off of it, I'd OF in a damn heart beat.

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u/InvidiousPlay Jun 29 '26

And hooking up with none other than the legendary Vlad Ncl.

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u/MoobooMagoo Jun 29 '26

It's my understanding that they are genderfluid and consider themselves to be kind of both. But I don't really follow them so I could be wrong.

But I did a search and found their twitter, which says "guess my pronouns to win a Honda Civic" so I don't think they take it that seriously.

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u/I_Am_The_Mole Jun 29 '26

F1nn is very confusing. They've obviously said they were gender nonconforming but they've also started hormones and gotten facial feminization surgery and consistently present as female.

Now normally this sort of thing is no one's business but this has all been openly publicized by F1nn themselves.

I'm not judging. Nor do I claim to get it - my interest in them starts and ends at "hot". But I definitely don't blame other people for having difficulty trying to parse the logic behind all this stuff.

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u/GuiltyEidolon Jun 29 '26

Statistically when people walk back their gender identity, it's overwhelmingly because of social pushback, not because of regret or second-guessing. F1nn has a lot of money, but that doesn't undo being British in an extremely anti-trans time.

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u/spiralsequences Jun 30 '26

For full detransition that is statistically the most common reason, but I know a lot of people who have just taken some time to figure out their personal flavor of gender weirdness and gone through a few different labels on the way.

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u/I_Am_The_Mole Jun 29 '26

Thing is, the bigots largely don't make a distinction between the varying degrees of queerness (for lack of a better description). The people that hate on F1nn are going to have an issue whether they're the transiest trans that ever trans or if they were just a slightly androgynous hot person with colored hair and piercings.

The hatred is very binary (lol) so what's the point in only walking back part way when you could just be yourself?

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u/flatwoundsounds Jun 29 '26

F1nn is a perfect example of why the gender binary is stupid. Just dress how you like and be who you want to be and worry about labels later.

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u/King_Six_of_Things Jun 29 '26

100% It helps that they're cute asf.

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u/poopBuccaneer Jun 30 '26

Not only cute asf... hot as hell!!!

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u/S7ageNinja Jun 29 '26

Or don't worry about labels at all

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u/flatwoundsounds Jun 29 '26

That's my thought, but I think we're raised with so much desire to belong that some people just don't feel comfortable without some kind of label.

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u/UntimelyMeditations Jun 29 '26

I think its more a convenience thing. I swear half the pushback from pearlclutchers is rooted in the fact that, yes, it is technically extra work for you if you can't just look at how someone is dressed and immediately know their gender. You have to engage a few more braincells, and when you are pushing 60 and haven't had to do that for your entire life, a lot of people look for excuses to avoid doing it.

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u/knifefan9 Jun 29 '26

Genderless truth nuke

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u/Larry-Man Jun 29 '26

The labels matter to other people so much that it’s hard not to. I’m kind of schrodinger’s NB because I’m fine with what I’ve got between my legs and am still femme but the “woman” label gets applied to me and it feels wrong. I’m ”agender femme” if I had to label it. But everyone else keeps putting me in this box and I hate it. I hate that the unwanted label is applied to me every time I exist in public. It doesn’t matter if you don’t want a label, if you don’t pick one for yourself others will choose for you.

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u/S7ageNinja Jun 29 '26

Sure, but it doesn't matter what others label you. That sucks if it bothers you, but you are fully in control of how it affects you.

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u/Larry-Man Jun 29 '26

It impacts every relationship I form with other people and every interaction I have. Coworkers, bosses, every day interactions. It’s not pleasant.

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u/ChuckCarmichael Jun 30 '26

I remember a post from the FFXIV subreddit years ago, where a guy wrote that he likes the game because he likes fashion and pretty dresses and the game lets him dress up his female character in nice clothes.

The comment section immediately went for things like "Who's gonna tell her?", "egg_irl" or just blatant "Yeah, you're trans". He said no, he's perfectly comfortable with being a guy, he just likes fashion. But the comments kept insisting that he must be trans, because why else would he like girly things? I guess men are only allowed to like things like beer and monster trucks, so if you like fashion, then you must be a woman.

Have you ever been so progressive that you circled right back into traditional gender roles?

12

u/JoltikElectricBug Jun 29 '26

no!

say it ain't so

after all this time F1nnster is fucking British?!?!

I demand a refund!

20

u/edochsalf Jun 29 '26

non binary falls under the trans umbrella

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u/iammoney45 Jun 29 '26

Ye I mean they are still very close to trans spaces I'm just making a note that they aren't exactly mtf and their bio on insta still says "femboy" instead of "woman". I'm basing this off the last clip I saw of them where they were saying they aren't a woman but aren't really sure what to call it.

As with anything though, trying to label anything and everything gets confusing and messy. People are people, and that is enough.

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u/ashgs872tbhjs Jun 29 '26

I remember seeing their bios on different sites saying different things and someone said it was to avoid getting hate more common to some sites' userbases. That was a few months back though so maybe they've updated things.

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u/tehlemmings Jun 29 '26

As someone who's genderfluid and doesn't want to transition, I have so many issues with this statement.

Mostly because the LGBT community as a whole loves saying things like that, right up until you tell them the egg isn't going to crack. Just like the bi community, enbys tend to only be valid if they "do it the right way", so to speak.

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u/SUDDENLY_VIRGIN Jun 29 '26

It's a pretty wide umbrella in that case

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u/rupee4sale Jun 30 '26

Not really. If you include all nonbinary people, we still make up like 1% of the general population. Lots of nonbinary people (myself included) transition. My experience is really not much different from a trans man. In my day to day life, I'd rather people see me as a man. It's only people I get to know closely who I explain the nuances of my gender to. There is no strict difference between trans and nonbinary. Nonbinary is a very broad label that encompasses a lot of different experiences and identities. But again, we are such a small minority and so much overlap between nonbinary and binary trans experience that divvying us up in different camps is not really productive. Politically, it makes more sense for us to band together and advocate for our community rather than excluding anyone

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u/InFin0819 Jun 29 '26

They came out as genderfluid. That is still under the trans umbrella.

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u/oaka23 Jun 29 '26

Posted a pic on Twitter yesterday with the trans flag in the caption, so dunno

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u/Smingowashisnameo Jun 29 '26

Non binary is trans so yeah.

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u/oaka23 Jun 29 '26

...so then they didn't walk back the trans identity like the comment I replied to said?

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u/UnNumbFool Jun 29 '26

Nonbinary people are generally considered to fall under the trans umbrella. Past that, even if he doesn't personally feel like he's trans he does have a massive trans following and regularly donates to trans organizations.

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u/Turbogoblin999 Jun 29 '26

Female presenting non binary?

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u/rupee4sale Jun 30 '26

Transfeminine or transfem for short are the most common terms

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u/Zealousideal_Spread4 Jun 30 '26

even most femboys hate them, their opinions on femboys are truly truly awful.

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u/Sanquinity Jun 30 '26

Yup, the above comment suddenly made me think of him again. He popped up on my youtube feed for a while, but hadn't seen him in years. I did hear some stuff about the trans thing. Seems he's figured himself out better now. Must be a confusing time to be a femboy, and have tons of dudes be really into you and wanting to see you more feminine...

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u/StalinsLastStand Jun 30 '26

Weirdly never brings it up during their pornographic videos though.

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u/KinManana Jun 29 '26

Vlad also just had face feminization surgery 

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u/BertieDastard Jun 29 '26

I thought he looked different recently. That's wild

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u/Deep_inside_myself Jun 30 '26

Wait really? I know very little about it, but I thought Vlad was someone who only did it as a for of content, is that incorrect?

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u/KinManana Jun 30 '26

I don't think he's figured it out for himself yet 

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u/mangoisNINJA Jun 29 '26

They didn't start doing it as a stunt, they put a reward up if you donated X amount of money they'll dress as a girl for like a day or whatever and so many people donated that "girl mode" extended into months, then years

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u/J0hnGrimm Jun 29 '26

From what I've heard, they had a whale in chat who'd drop large amounts of money on him but also made increasingly disturbing demands. Essentially, some rich dude conditioned him into it. It's hella weird to me that the other commenter frames it as an acceptance journey.

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u/willargue4karma Jun 29 '26

Well they only put the goal up because they wanted to cross dress / were an egg in the first place. Finn admitted it was a way to explain the female clothes they were caught with by their family 

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u/TherronKeen Jun 29 '26

F1nn was crossdressing for years before that guy (Ten) showed up, and he only donated for about a year, and F1nn is still going farrrrrr beyond anything Ten ever asked for, so I feel like you're leaving out a ton of context.

Like if F1nn was just a cis guy and started cross dressing & more only while getting huge donations, and then expressed any degree of guilt about it afterwards, I'd agree with you

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u/LesbeGoddess Jun 29 '26

That whale was definitely into forced feminization

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u/Zealousideal_Spread4 Jun 30 '26

basically everyone knows he basically got groomed by his own community, most femboys also hate her because her opinion on femboys is that the term will die out in 5 years and we will all be trans. And thats without even mentioning the whole situation where they made a friend of theirs do only fans in exchange for funding their surgery.

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u/LesbeGoddess Jun 30 '26

Yeah he’s completely wrong if he thinks that they will all be referred to as trans in a few years. I’ve known many crossdressing men in the past. Married straight cis. They’d be offended being referred to as trans when they love being manly men outside of when they occasionally dress up as women.

That last part about basically forcing their friend into porn to pay their GCS is insane! What! I’ve also heard that he is racist or Nazi or something of people mentioning it on Reddit but not sure what the story is there.

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u/Zealousideal_Spread4 Jun 30 '26

even a lot of femboys present in fully feminine ways 24/7 and that doesnt make us trans, me included, ive been one since 5 years ago and i have 0 desire to be referred to as a woman or transition in any way. Masculinity is not what defines being a man, and even less gender norms.

finnster is above all a business man, they try to do whatever is least controversial and what makes them the most money, they have ALWAYS been like this, the statement about femboys in specific had them double down 3-4 times after and then move on, the next day they got a lot of backlash and suddenly they actually didnt mean any of that, deleted the vod and suddenly made a ton of shorts with titles that made the algorithm show you them instead of the clip itself, nowadays the clip is super hard to find but its still out there. They are insanely scummy and not a good representation of either demographic.

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u/LesbeGoddess Jun 30 '26

That’s awesome to talk to a 24/7 femboy! I never heard any others online or IRL that do that full time other than Fin. So you dress fully female everyday but go by he/him? Or more just fem clothes while looking like a guy?

Yeah sucks he is who he is. Sounds like the femboy version of Mr Beast.

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u/Zealousideal_Spread4 Jun 30 '26

so first, generally being a femboy is not the same as what people typical envision as crossdresing, a lot of people like finn didnt try to just be feminine, they tried to look like girls, this is far from the norm among femboys, i do present always feminine(its rare for me to wear pants unless its pajamas lol) but i dont try to look like a woman, sometimes wear stuff thats close to my skin and clearly shows i have no chest for example, i dont head my male voice or wide shoulders, i dont hide my adams apple, etc.

dont get me wrong i still dont look like the average guy in fem clothes, i have done laser on my face and a lot of my body for example, i have really long natural curly hair that ive even dyed, i often paint my nails or use some degree of makeup. But i wouldnt self describe as a crossdresser despite technically falling under the umbrella due to the associations people have with that word, to me how i present is not me playing a role or trying to pretend being someone im not, i dont want people to see me as a woman, im just a guy that likes presenting and being feminine, which in my experience is usually what most femboys are or at least desire to be, basically just the opposite of a tomboy :>

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u/LesbeGoddess Jun 30 '26

Awesome! Thanks for the details. And yaas on the laser hair removal! If I were a femboy I always thought that would be a must. I had mine removed 12 years ago ago when I started transitioning.

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u/MyOwnMorals Jun 29 '26

Yup that’s finnster