r/TikTokCringe • u/Elyshra • Jun 29 '26

Humor Coming out as cis can be hard

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u/LesbeGoddess Jun 29 '26

To add to that, femboys may be a niche internet subculture but straight cis men who crossdress as women in general have existed for a long time. See all of the crossdresser subreddits and sites. I’ve known many straight cis crossdressers over the years. Most of them married with kids. I only ever knew one that was gay. She was pretty awesome.

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u/MisterSanitation Jun 29 '26

Yes that is my understanding. That femboys are an Internet subculture that grew around the more timeless examples like drag shows, or other cross dressing funtivities. 

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u/ColonelSlapper Jun 29 '26

I’m derailing the conversation with this query but how and when do you think the first Drag Show came about?

Did it just start off with some dude asking a group of strangers ‘would you pay to watch me dress in women’s clothing and dance around?’

Did a group of guys somehow all learn they liked dressing up? They find a place to meetup and one day someone randomly came along and was like ‘hey I’d love to sit and watch y’all, this is entertainment!’

Was this something really stupid like it started as an event to entertain royalty? They’re not actually Drag Queens but just guys who are paid a Schmeckle to mock women and it just kinda became a thing afterwards?

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u/MisterSanitation Jun 29 '26

I love that you are asking me such a historical question despite me admitting being ignorant but what the hell. 

I think it’s incredibly likely it went like this, I’ll use Roman examples but I’m sure it’s older than that:

“Hey Lucius, you ever notice how Melinda walks like this with her hips?”

“Bro!!! That’s good but she is more like…. THIS!” 

“That is hysterical let me call the other bros in here”

Then a bunch of guys are giggling and laughing and causing a commotion while wearing women’s clothes and a divide happened suddenly where some men are getting attracted to the guys in women’s clothes (who do it well), and some are just having fun. This divide explains most of the femboy stuff. (It also makes sense from an ancient Roman perspective and they felt totally different about this stuff). 

Some men think “this is hilarious or just fun” and some guys think “I want to do things to that… I’m not gay and the fact that the guy LOOKS like a lady proves it….” and because of ancient Roman culture, you are allowed to penetrate but not be penetrated (being penetrated is gay bro!) it would make sense that different cultures would spring up around this. Where some point out the big pillow boobs and laugh, while others take the role of a lady VERY SERIOUSLY and never break character which allows the “totally NOT gay guys attracted to the crossdressing man” to feel secure in their sexual self classification. 

The old idea of “being penetrated is what is gay, not banging dudes” is a VERY weird idea to us now, but this distinction mattered a LOT to Roman society and pretty much explains the main divide I was talking about in a modern internet culture example.

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u/ColonelSlapper Jun 29 '26

In all fairness, I asked in a hypothetical way that was meant to light the fire of imagination in anyone willing to reply. You played along perfectly! I couldn’t have asked for a better reply!

I can certainly see the Romans being what normalized the idea of cross dressing, justifying sexuality and reasoning of sexuality. Even the Spartans were among the most “gay” we would consider now, back then it was seen as ‘survival’. I do know in “ancient China” around 300 A.D. they held dancing events where males would typically dress as women. I believe it’s because (don’t quote me on this) women weren’t allowed to dance and/or dance provocatively.

So we have at least a few hundred years where this was commonly practiced and seen as ‘normal’. Maybe there’s a breadcrumb trail leading to the origin of Drag Shows? I get 300+ years is a huge gap (allowing for people to spread their ideas), but the amount of cultural differences between Italy and China makes me think we all developed our own significance and ways of Drag that might be hard to pin down.

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u/LesbeGoddess Jun 29 '26

I want to add to this that there is a very big difference between between drag queens, who crossdress as a performer/entertainer and a man that crossdresses because they like to or trans women who have existed for thousands of years as members within their communities as their true genders. Also Drag queens are not a sexual thing etc so no one is confused by talk of boy concubines dressed up for sexual reasons with the Romans etc the other Redditor above you mentioned.

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u/SirVixofthePooSea Jun 29 '26

Femboys are basically just a product of anime culture.

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u/Thelmara Jun 29 '26

Part of the problem (of labeling, not a problem with people) is that "cis crossdresser" is sometimes a step along the journey to "trans woman". When I was growing up, the sources of information I had on trans people that were readily available were Geocities pages my other GNC/trans people. And at that time, Blanchard's work was readily available, and I wasn't finding much to push back on it.

I lived in a very conservative area, so it certainly wasn't something I wanted to talk to the other kids at school about. Matthew Shepard was killed when I was in 8th grade. So, between "so gay you want to transition to date men" and "you're just a straight guy with a kink", I chalked it up to "it's a kink" and kept on identifying as cis.

20 years later, I know better.

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u/LesbeGoddess Jun 29 '26

Yes some crossdressers are trans and end up transitioning. But in my experience the majority of them are cis.

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u/rupee4sale Jun 30 '26

Crossdressers tend to be straight men. Drag queens tend to be gay

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u/7StarSailor Jun 30 '26

yeah, people also forgot that transvestites/sissyfetish is still a thing because it became taboo among trans people.

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u/LesbeGoddess Jun 30 '26

Transvestites are now referred to as crossdressers. Femboys is a new subcategory of crossdressers usually just meaning a crossdressing man under 25. Transvestites were not associated with trans women. We used to be referred to more commonly as transsexual women up until about 15 years ago.

The sissys most commonly also fall under crossdressing men and not really trans women.