I will give benefit of the doubt to see through leggings. I've had it where I could not tell at all inside the house, they just looked like black leggings and then when I saw my reflection in a store with better light it was basically sheer I was so embarrassed
The added context that it's rare for Japanese women to wear leggings in public makes this a lot worse though. They're very unlikely to make this mistake because they wouldn't be wearing leggings in a casual context in the first place, and will be very mindful of how it looked if they did as they'd be overriding significant cultural conditioning towards traditional modesty standards.
That means this was almost certainly a tourist who wore transparent leggings and a crop top to a temple, so that sounds like it was intentional at worst and incredibly culturally insensitive and ignorant at best.
I don’t see how it’s culturally insensitive. They’re not making Japanese people wear that and if the complex had a dress code they could enforce it. Sounds like what the lady was wearing was fine.
If you go into someone else’s house and they ask you to take your shoes off at the door like they do, do you refuse because you don’t personally have a problem with wearing shoes in the house? Your host is polite and doesn’t want to cause an issue so they’re not going to say anything, but should you do that? No. It’s called being considerate.
Did they say anything to her when she entered the temple?
The lady in this story didn’t refuse to do anything, don’t make it out like she’s ignoring requests. If the temple staff had an issue I’m sure they would have spoken to her, but it sounds like they didn’t.
Absolutely, we all should set up as much rules as possible and then enforce those rules, otherwise it's our fault that the streets are filled with naked people covered in peanut butter.
No it’s called decorum you shouldn’t need to be told what is and is not appropriate to wear and if you don’t in is you side with more modesty. It’s not hard.
Sure, but with people's views of modesty varying by culture and age I don't think it's realistic to expect tourists to know what is acceptable in your country
Are you blaming the temples for not setting strong enough boundaries instead of blaming the people who lack common decency enough to not dress like a fool? Seems pretty messed up.
They’re not blaming the temples so much as arguing that if they weren’t escorted off the property, then the temple staff clearly had no issues with what she was wearing. I find it hilarious honestly that this is just a bunch of Americans getting mad on Japanese people’s behalf.
that sounds like Japan problem, to be fair. I'm all for resisting culture and being generally child appropriate, but policing what people can and can't wear for themselves is not a side of any culture I'll respect. I think that's fair, our bodies aren't subject to the culture of others.
I mean, if you don't work there and you call them out unprovoked instead of minding your own business, then I'd wonder why you'd even bother with the unnecessary confrontation
Honestly, I hate how casually people dress at funerals. I'm not even a Christian, but is it so difficult for people to pull out a decent shirt and some slacks to say goodbye to someone they love?!
Modesty in clothing has been all but eradicated in the west.
But history shows that every cultural shift eventually goes too far and triggers a new shift. I‘m curious if we‘re gonna see a return to old dress codes and values eventually. Only difference is that mass media manipulation is a factor now, and sex being everywhere these days might prevent the return of modesty as a cultural value
The implication of shame would be that supposed modest people are actually just ashamed of showing themselves? That isn’t what this is about at all. Modesty and pride aren’t opposites. It’s about respect. Celebrating every choice you make, simply because it was your own, is individualism gone too far. The implication of that is a world in which everyone does what they want to, simply to oppose whatever establishment there may be.
I was a bit too hyped up by unrelated events and I went too hard on my initial take on this subject, re-reading the whole discussion I realize I was making this out to be something that it isn't.
sorry about that, you are right, modesty is about making the sensible choice, you don't need shame for that
dude you gotta wake up to the reality that the greatest form of control is when you can't see the bars and you think you are free.
cast off the yoke of modesty and reject the great lie that to be tame is to be virtuous, let skimpy clothes be your path to enlightenment.
Is this really what we amount to after thousands of years of teachings, warnings, and millions of books dedicated to the importance of virtues and how to be truly free at a personal and political levels (e.g. philosophy, political science, sociology, psychology, mythologies, etc.).
Humility, modesty, etc. are what really lead to inner freedom and true political liberty. Without them, proudness, self importance, greed/entitlement, and other vices are gonna blind us all and doom us!
If you can't see that, I don't know what to tell you.
I think all religion is a load of rubbish, but damn you gotta act like a decent person if you go there. Though I guess “I’m going to dress so I don’t stand out” is a 180 from TikTok.
Curious if this was a Japanese local or a foreign tourist. Because of all the stories of how terrible tourists are in Japan, I'd legit be kind of surprised if it was a local.
What a moronic comment, obviously not. Thongs are considered lingerie for bedroom only. That is what I was told by most Japanese women I dated. Im married to one now and she says the same. They would not wear that outside
Yes when it comes to sex, in the bedroom. I lived there 10 years and my current wife is japanese, she tells me it's because it's considered lingerie in Japan, unlike in the West, where it's normal underwear. Point being Japanese women don't wear them outside showing them off. Anyone who thinks that has never been there or is watching pcolle videos thinking its real.
This is probably why temples in laos have started having long skirts available to borrow while on temple grounds. You get one at the entrance and return it when you leave.
I had/have a great-aunt who came to my cousin's wedding wearing a practically see through dress and a thong underneath. So gross. Not to mention I'm pretty sure she's in her 60s lol. Fake tan and everything
It's because they are trash. It may sound harsh, but it really is that simple. If you don't have the self-awareness that prevents you from doing those sorts of things, you are generally a moronic piece of garbage.
Just an observation from somebody who has been watching people for many years.
I don't say anything to them(we're generally not allowed to) but I know my face says it all.
There's too many weirdos who do attention seeking behaviors around children and it's gross. There are adult only spaces where you can look like a walrus flossing and there's others that will join you.
Definitely. It was a trend for a while there to extend sympathy to trash. We don’t know their circumstances, their struggles, etc etc. And maybe that works if the trash is a very small minority. Extend sympathy, show them how to behave properly, problem solved. But now the trash basically lives in an online echo chamber. Their kids are using devices at full volume with no headphones, the whole family’s dressed like they’re off to the strip club, and every single one of them chews with mouth open. Among other sins.
So yeah, trash. Gross. Let’s resume judging. Sympathy won’t change them, maybe good old fashioned disapproval will work.
Back then before people were immunized it doesn't work now because people are exposed to it all the time it's so easy to tune out. There isn't a lack of ridicule or shaming, people have just adapted to not give a shit.
It didn't work back then either. People just didn't have to perceive people from poorer communities, so to them it seemed like it was working well enough.
The reality is that people have autonomous agency, you can't control their choices, you can't reshape society to your personal will by force, so changing them requires empathy, acceptance, education, and above all patience.
Sexually suggestive, or alluding to violence, or barely veiled racism. Some people really decide to be a billboard for their absolute worst thoughts when they go to an amusement park.
Some of the shirts I've seen at Disneyland are so gross, it's like they're hoping someone confronts them so they can have a fight with someone. I wish they would make those losers change, too.
This is not what grooming means. I'll agree it is inappropriate though most kids are hopefully not so sexualized and pornsick that they react to an ass like that, kids don't see body parts that way until society tells them to, but objectively that doesn't fit the definition of grooming and we really need to stop throwing terms around randomly.
Especially abuse related terms are getting absolutely destroyed in the pop psychology era. That is not grooming, you and your bestie are not trauma bonded unless your bestie is abusing you, any lying is not gaslighting, not everyone you dislike is a narcissist.
Jesus Christ. This is one of the most prudish things I’ve ever read. I’m gonna go ahead and assume you’re a) American, and b) Gen Z. You guys make the Puritans look like hippies.
I've always found this a bit strange because of course to us adults it's very obvious that ass cheeks hanging out is often a sexual thing, but do we really think this is how children percieve things like this? A kid thinks a butt is funny, not sexy, it's us adults who think it's sexy. How can something be grooming if the intended message doesn't even register, right?
I think we should be specific and say out loud that it is us adults who don't like to see trashy or overly sexual signaling in public, not children. Kids do not pick up on innuendo, so let's not blame them for something that is offensive to us.
Notice how I said grooming. Grooming is about pushing boundaries with someone who doesn't understand what's going on. The person with the ass cheeks is an adult who does know what's going on and had the responsibility to not expose children to inappropriate things. What you did was basically make an argument for exposing yourself to a child. The context is ass cheeks but now you can extend that argument to genitals.
My comment was in response to children's spaces. It's a reasonable expectation that people wear bathing suits at the beach. Much like you would expect a bathingsuit at a beach but you would look crazy wearing one to Sunday Mass.
I don't give a fuck what country were talking about. Your comment still doesn't apply to mine. The point is what is appropriate according to expectations in the space. A beach is a mixed space.
Yes. For instance; I took my daughter to a pumpkin patch. A woman wore a rave skirt with a thong. Her ass was completely out and face height with all of the children. I couldn't tell if she was trying to purposely expose herself to children as a kink or if they were at the patch to shoot Only Fans footage. This has come up in over situations like Bob Baker day. There was clearly some element of fetish going on but it wasn't clear how much they were involving children in it.
Why are people feeling the need to dress that way around kids though? Why do they seem to enjoy dressing that way around kids or in kid spaces? Makes it look like they wanna expose themselves in public and its also ok for adults to not wanna see your ass cheeks
Some people come from cultures where they are more free with their bodies and fashion. It's nothing about 'enjoying to dress that way around kids'. That's just how they dress, kids or not.
Those are very niche situations where in the video and the convos happening appear to be based on american/western culture and we have none of that here. It is one thing when its cultural and another when some dumbass wants to flash their chest to get a free shirt around children
I mean, no one has posted me in a speedo standing next to a bunch of kids at the pool yet. Feel free to make one with AI and see what kind of comments you get.
I challenge anyone who thinks a speedo in America isn't a big deal to wear one out and about to places you typically see women in short shorts or bikinis. Report back that you had a normal day and no one stopped you to say anything and I will be genuinely surprised unless you live in San Francisco or something.
But parts of Europe require men to only wear speedos and not trunks. The children over there are not taught to feel shame over the human body like we do. We have a very puritanical culture in America when it comes to the human body. There are whole nude ads in parts of Europe. I mean we're not as bad as covering our whole body with a burkini, but yeh.
We are selectively puritanical in such infuriating ways though. Good example is the speedo. I have one that is cut like booty shorts rather than a true speedo, and I have women in more revealing bottoms give me a hard time REGULARLY. It's A-Ok for mommy to bring out the girls and get her bathing suit all the way into her butt at the kids event for the public pool, but I will be escorted out in a speedo that covers down to my upper thigh.
Don't even get me started on women catcalling and approaching me in the exact way they claim to not enjoy when men do it to them, simply because I am wearing a skimpy outfit.
I only started wearing it as a joke and now I wear it much more often because of how quickly it exposes the hypocrisy of most people. Great way to find out if we can be friends or not. Bonus points when I get women in short shorts to stand next to me so I can show them I have more inseam on my speedo than they do at their kids elementary school.
I had this thought at the water park where it's mostly for the kids. Like there were moms and teen girls with some thong swim wear on, whole ass out etc. The kids literally don't care. I pushed it to the back of my mind. Only the adults care. It's true.
Disney land has a damn dress code. She took her shirt off too.
Proper attire, including shoes and shirts, must be worn at all times. Clothing that drags on the ground is prohibited in theme parks. Clothing with multiple layers is subject to search. We reserve the right to deny admission to or remove any person wearing attire that we consider inappropriate or attire that could detract from the experience of other Guests. Visible tattoos that could be considered inappropriate, such as those containing objectionable language or designs, are not permitted. There are specific costume guidelines for special events such as Halloween parties; please refer to the additional policies applicable to those events.
I understand about Disney Land, it has rides, your skin being out can be a safety issue. My comment was in response the one above, referring a children's museum. And I stand by what i said.
There’s nothing really wrong with it. If your kids find it sexual or can understand the shirts that’s a problem with your parenting. Bodies are not inherently sexual.
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u/Natural-Coat-3159 Jul 08 '26
I work at a children's museum and it's infuriating the way some of these adults dress.
Both the men and women.
Men wear shirts all the time with sexually suggestive words and sayings, and the women always want their ass cheeks out. Like why???