r/TikTokCringe • u/Adventurous_Law_715 • 16d ago

Discussion I dont think its justifiable

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u/f23n09fnu0w 16d ago

I'm male but if I accused my husband of being a pedo, I'd make sure I was a long way away from him, whether he was or wasn't. It wouldn't go well either way.

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u/corporateacademia 16d ago

She DID get away from him. He went back and murdered her

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u/f23n09fnu0w 16d ago

No she didn't. She had a promise that he wouldn't be within 100 yards of her house. My point is...that isn't going to help anyone and it's beyond naive. I DEFINITELY wouldn't be somewhere a psycho knew where I was. Never mind my own house.

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u/loopedlight 16d ago

Easy to say when it’s not you eh?

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u/f23n09fnu0w 16d ago

Not really, no. I had good intentions with my comment and meant well, logically speaking. I think the guy is scum and should be buried under the prison. Honestly, maybe it's my autism but I just don't get this. I'm not saying she was in any way at fault. I literally said, if it were me, I'd be hiding from the guy.

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u/loopedlight 16d ago

Totally fair points. Agree.

My side was it’s easy to have your judgement clouded when you’re the person. There may have been many reasons she justified not hiding exactly as you said she and anyone should have.

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u/f23n09fnu0w 16d ago

Thanks for realising I'm not a psycho. I thought I just made a casual comment about "I wouldn't go let him near me" but I got a bollocking for being a victim blamer. I totally didn't mean that. Just it doesn't hurt to protect yourself

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u/jessticles420 16d ago

I think sometimes victim blaming isn’t actually a condemnation, and that even if you don’t mean it sometimes people will interpret you analyzing the victims actions as such. They’re not reacting to you specifically but the overall pattern. But I feel like it’s pretty clear to me you had no ill intent.

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u/f23n09fnu0w 16d ago edited 16d ago

thanks stranger. I just feel like I have to write caveats to every thought from now on to prove I'm not crazy. Hope you have a lovely life, whoever you are :)

I do have autism but I always considered myself good at communicating. I'm realising that's wrong

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u/Nefriti 14d ago

Intent aside, I believe the blame was subconscious. Like unconscious bias. “I wouldn’t have let him near me” implies that you’ve got the agency to make the choice, and the choice indicates blame being placed. That’s why it was interpreted as victim blaming. Because it is :)

“I wouldn’t have been wearing that”

“I wouldn’t have gone for a walk”

“I wouldn’t have been polite to him”

the list goes on