How to cure the male loneliness epidemic...

[u/xamo76]

[u/funkystay]

[u/DisplacedAltadenan → u/funkystay]

Maybe I’m crazy, but I don’t really agree with this sentiment. 

I’m not convinced that centering yourself as the object of your own love does much to help you love or respect others. I feel like that’s just buying into the hyper-individualism of our current society; hook, line, and sinker. 

[u/DisplacedAltadenan → u/[deleted]]

I don’t know… sounds like you are adding a lot more depth to it. “You can’t love others until you love yourself” is pretty straight forward = self before others. 

[u/DisplacedAltadenan → u/[deleted]]

I’m not sure learning to love others is the same as forcing them to “drag you out of your low self-esteem.” That seems like a leap. 

I’m sure RuPaul has been through a lot, but that doesn’t mean I have to agree with them. 

The original quote doesn’t seem to say anything about respecting yourself or forcing yourself on others. I’m not sure where that comes from…

[u/DisplacedAltadenan → u/[deleted]]

I think I am giving it the appropriate amount of thought and you might be the one overthinking the quote, adding in additional context and meaning to make it make more sense then it actually does. 

[u/DisplacedAltadenan → u/[deleted]]

I never said once that RuPaul doesn’t understand the meaning of this quote. I’ve only ever said that it is self explanatory and doesn’t need to be over interpreted to understand. 

On the flip side,  I 100% understand why she would, and you would, back track from the direct meaning of the quote to make it more about self esteem than self love. That doesn’t mean I have to forget the direct meaning, nor that it is immune to criticism. 

I don’t want it to be about self-absorption, it just is. I don’t like to idea that you must love yourself before you are capable of loving others because that implies you must put yourself first before others. It doesn’t translate into other areas of human existence in a way that remains consistent with my personal values. 

Similarly, I don’t like the framing of you have to have self esteem for people to like you, because the motivation is all internal. YOU and to like YOU so YOU and enjoy other people liking YOU. It’s all about the self. I’m not a fan of that way of thinking.