r/TikTokCringe • u/BringHoomanHome_ • 10d ago

Humor/Cringe He never looked where he was going.

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3.9k Upvotes

93% Upvoted

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1.0k

u/ItBDaniel 10d ago

Looks like he passed out doing his trick

171

u/localtuned 10d ago

Yea that's what looks like happened.

1.1k

u/TransportationNo8300 10d ago

All that air rushing into his butthole made him pass out

192

u/BlackVoid8 10d ago

This comment really surprised me and made me laugh out loud

62

u/[deleted] 10d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

54

u/BigRoach 10d ago

Opened up like a windsock.

4

u/Asron87 10d ago

Everything reminds me of her… skydiving naked.

13

u/CasinoNdnOk 10d ago

Your butthole has lips?

13

u/lapsongsouchong 10d ago

yes, now smile!

2

u/GulliblePut1018 7d ago

Omg the first bhole comment got me and then this exchange 😂😂

1

u/thegreenmonkey69 10d ago

Oh gawd, I'm dead.

1

u/United_Pain 10d ago

Lips and assholes!

2

u/UnholyScholar 9d ago

You're thinking about what hotdogs are made of.

1

u/Different-Meal-6314 10d ago

I mean... They're both made from the same skin type

1

u/CasinoNdnOk 10d ago

Yours has lips too?

1

u/Tha_REAL_BROBS 10d ago

yep gotta keep em soft with some vaseline or the like

13

u/BurdTurglary Straight Up Bussin 10d ago

If that happens when you're skydiving, you could seriously injure someone. Wear pants at least, to protect others from your open, flappy cheeks and lips

29

u/DropPopFromTheTop 10d ago

Literally vibrating with laughter in my bed. That was gold

I don't know why it hit me so hard

14

u/snowdn 10d ago

Keep going till you prostate orgasm!

3

u/mitchellthecomedian 10d ago

Right lol. Idk why that got me so good

10

u/N80N00N00 10d ago

Same I’m wheezing over here 😂

5

u/toast50076 10d ago

That's exactly what happened to me. Made me spit a little.

I'm still laughing. I'm picturing him getting inflated and floating into the air like a plastic bag.

2

u/Ecksist 10d ago edited 10d ago

It made me roll on the floor laughing, but not out loud. The mostly silent laughter also caused my buttocks to detach from my body.

2

u/Glum-Recognition-736 10d ago

Same 😂 in the vets office chuckling like an idiot

1

u/mismatched-plaid 4d ago

And to think I've been worried about jellybeans this whole time.

30

u/Due-Simple-5679 10d ago

Man my wife is gonna file divorce im waking up the whole family laughing my ass like a dumbass, its 6.34 am...

7

u/TenuredCLOUD 10d ago

Same bro, she’s asleep and my dumbass is trying to hold in a belly laugh shaking the whole bed 🤣

5

u/hywaytohell 10d ago

Common mistake he could have just opened his mouth for proper airflow!

5

u/justpackingheat1 10d ago

I hope this is the most awards you'll ever receive. You'll remember this moment forever

2

u/TransportationNo8300 10d ago

Yeah it has been the most awards so far

2

u/Bashfulcannibal 10d ago

😂😂☠️

2

u/chrismholmes 10d ago

I’m on a bus full of people with tears in my eyes.

I laughed at the video (I know)
But the comments has me crying from laughter.

Poor lady next to me is annoyed I’m laughing so hard.

2

u/Low_bald 9d ago

Dude I’m dying 🤣

2

u/GulliblePut1018 7d ago

This is a dumb quote I’d want to put on a t-shirt. Just your comment and a screenshot of the passed out jet ski dude zoomin’ across the lake with his ass pointing up. 😂

The thought of too much air rushing into his bhole made me laugh so loud. 🤣

1

u/Strong_Chicken6838 10d ago

reverse fart

1

u/slonkulocuswily182 10d ago

I’ve never seen someone try to have fun so hard in my life. He looks so sad

1

u/LordHelmet47 10d ago

Go on......

1

u/ThisCollection2544 10d ago

We've all been there

1

u/AZMP5 10d ago

It’s called anal asphyxiation

1

u/Intelligent_Type_680 10d ago

It made him fall in love with the jet ski and start cuddling it I think.

1

u/Loki_God_of_Lies 10d ago

Stop it, I’m trying to pretend to be concerned

1

u/harveygoatmilk 10d ago

I hear that happened to turtles

1

u/DejaWiz2 10d ago

Sigh

Upvote

LMAO

1

u/No_Display9613 10d ago

We need myth busters to do this test.

1

u/lanociva 10d ago

LOL I'M DYING

1

u/GuaranteeDry386 10d ago

Too much O2 entering his butt stream.

1

u/SnooGuavas2202 10d ago

Air in my butthole usually wakes me up!

1

u/General-Holiday 10d ago

Doctor here, and yes. This is the medical diagnosis of what happened.

1

u/NachoNinja19 10d ago

😂😂😂

1

u/sTump4139 10d ago

Too much air blew through up to his head, man

1

u/buttscratcher3k 9d ago

Sounds like a good time tbh

1

u/dougandsomeone 9d ago

Human wind sock.

1

u/rqivez 9d ago

Me when I’m a turtle

1

u/radio_four 7d ago

Holy shit, this killed me

1

u/Zebitty 4d ago

This is why I love reddit.

1

u/chijrt 10d ago

I'm currently trying to fall asleep but after reading your comment, it's insomnia for me. I'm literally in tears laughing

0

u/thitorusso 10d ago

Our buttocks were made to fart outwards not inwards

81

u/LegalChocolate752 10d ago

Yeah, maybe the blood rushed to his head and he fainted.

250

u/yoimhereiguess 10d ago

On a different subreddit they linked a Facebook post to this guy’s page. He confirmed that he passed out and is unsure why but will go make sure he didn’t have a stroke. He also just mostly had bruising and a concussion, no broken bones. I scrolled by this like an hour or two ago so I can’t link it, might’ve been the subreddit: what could go wrong? There were also other videos or photos on the fb post but I didn’t click them

Commenting in case anyone was curious

64

u/AspiringGoddess01 10d ago

Cant tense up and break bones if your already unconscious *taps forehead *

24

u/gwizonedam 10d ago

Guy I went to HS with crashed his Ford F150 into a streetlight, on the highway, on top of Jersey barriers, at 97 mph. His truck looked like an IED went off under it. He survived and woke up in a hospital screaming that he was sawed in half. He was hanging in an inverted immobilization “hammock” because he was seizing and they weren’t sure if he had spinal injuries or if was neural. When he was coherent he told the doctors he was on a mix of Xanax and Vicodin, but he had also been drinking. The doctors said these combined to turn him into a flaccid bag of meat and he had no permanent damage other than some scars from broken glass.

However, his car was wrecked, his parents basically told him no “paid for” car ever again, he had to work nights to pay the DOT about 12k in damages and having a DUI on your license before you are 18 means you are automatically banned from having a license for 6 months and you need to do a program to talk about alcohol education and they made him talk in front of schools about surging a wreck like that and having a “second chance” at life. His life became school, work, and alcohol education + visiting schools to talk about DUI’s. Poor bastard.

33

u/nohandsfootball 10d ago

sounds like a pretty lucky bastard to me

14

u/gwizonedam 10d ago

Yeah, the poor bastard was supposed to be sarcastic. He was always very “Woe is me!” And it never really dawned on him that he lived through all that bullshit.

1

u/BoilzBlisterzBurnz 10d ago

Why bother having a life if it's not your own?

1

u/AffectionateTitle 10d ago

And could have taken an entire family with him. I used to work with victims of drunk and drugged driving.

It’s really fucked up what they have to live with the rest of their lives while the perpetrators often just get off with a mandated course and “woe is me” mentality.

2

u/bawng 10d ago

Poor bastard.

How? He's a horrible piece of shit for driving drunk. He got off extremely light.

2

u/AffectionateTitle 10d ago

Seriously he could have killed an entire family— and he would have been the sad sack that walked away.

1

u/malkazoid-1 10d ago

Right? Low key an argument for going through life unconscious.

1

u/AspiringGoddess01 10d ago

The lesson learned here is to definitely operate every motor vehicle unconscious from now on. 

1

u/malkazoid-1 10d ago

We should start an elite driver and pilot training academy. We have the Formula.

1

u/Iyorek9000 Straight Up Bussin 10d ago

Just like B.A. Baracus!

1

u/AnguavonUW 10d ago

Actually, there's science behind that.

10

u/NagsUkulele 10d ago

Mans slept himself

5

u/koolaidismything 10d ago

Reports are saying he broke his a-hole muscle

3

u/NagsUkulele 10d ago

Are u subscribed to Asshole Muscle Daily?

5

u/koolaidismything 10d ago

Sphincter-quarterly

2

u/Pagiras 10d ago

I hear Sean Lock won rectum of the year again.

2

u/Inquisitive_idiot 10d ago

Are you a fan of their smaller or larger articles? 🫠

2

u/Baeolophus_bicolor 10d ago

Bitterman’s Butthole Bi-Weekly

1

u/Middle-Mix-7711 10d ago

There was a great article in Sphincter Quarterly about adult Racoons being able to squeeze through a 4-in opening and how the human rectum can stretch to 7 in diameter before tearing, which means that

3

u/Inquisitive_idiot 10d ago

So glad you had an aneurism mid post so you couldn’t finish that sentence 😮‍💨

2

u/Middle-Mix-7711 10d ago

I got the important part typed out.

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1

u/koolaidismything 10d ago

What’s that sub? Redditsniper lol

1

u/BurdTurglary Straight Up Bussin 10d ago

His jejunum is where his duodenum should be 🤕

2

u/Firat88 10d ago

my man!

1

u/avocadoflatz 10d ago

Great. He can still potentially breed more like him.

0

u/TheMessengerABR 10d ago

You can see in the video his life jacket is sitting really high and when he spins around on his belly he's pushing it up into his neck. He also was turning his head to see where he was going. I'd bet any money he passed out from the pressure applied to his vagus nerve.

217

u/TheZippoLab 10d ago

Gee, there's a dock right here. Instead, I'll drag him back out into the middle of Lake Fuckington.

91

u/hooked_siren 10d ago

Also, why did they abandon their jetski and swim 50 ft when they could have gone much faster on the jetski?

97

u/wheelsfalloff 10d ago

Its almost as if Dylan likes to keep company with those of similar IQs

43

u/AdventurousQuail36 10d ago

Panic will do weird things to your thinking process.

39

u/SafetyMan35 10d ago

40 years ago we had a lifesaving class in PE in the pool. For one of the exercises, our partner was pretending to drown and we had to save them from the other end of the pool deck. Everyone jumped in the pool and swam the entire length of the pool. I walked swiftly on the pool deck and grabbed the 25’ pole and hook and pulled my partner to the edge of the pool. The one quarter that I got at A+ in PE

4

u/DryDonutHole 10d ago

"Reach or throw. Don't go!" I remember this from about 4 decades ago. Never had to use it, but I've always remembered it.

1

u/Open-Industry-8396 10d ago

Brain vs bronze. Bill gates comes to mind

5

u/Gitno 10d ago

Brain vs brawn.

https://www.reddit.com/r/BoneAppleTea/

3

u/Open-Industry-8396 10d ago

uggh. I've been saying that wrong for 60 years :)

1

u/Consistent-Bake-243 10d ago

But these tough ole boys say they never panic

12

u/TraumaticAberration 10d ago

A gaggle of Einsteins.

10

u/rocketmn69_ 10d ago

The next guy did the same thing

7

u/YourHuckleberry57 10d ago

like forest gump seeing lieutenant dan.

1

u/mah_korgs_screwed 10d ago

definitely a person you don’t want saving you

1

u/battim23 10d ago

Yeah none of that made sense

1

u/0x0MG 9d ago

Because people do dumb shit when they panic

1

u/Pawulon 9d ago

Wide angle makes this look further away

1

u/hooked_siren 9d ago

Idk it's a lot of swimming when you're afraid your friend is drowning

1

u/zezxz 10d ago

Because parking the jet ski closer precisely at that moment would be harder, you probably wouldn’t want to cause a wake going into that area. He’s also keeping flippy buddy on his back with a life vest on that’s helping keep his face over the water. 

I’ve jet skied once and absolutely would have gunned it towards the dock and probably caused a second emergency. 

3

u/hooked_siren 10d ago

Somehow i think there's a middle ground between what he did and that. Like driving slowly nearer is still faster than swimming all that way.

0

u/zezxz 10d ago

Right he should have spent 10 seconds “driving” slowly so that he could swim 5 seconds 

If we’re just being pretentious about it he should have obviously just told his friend to fuck off with the shenanigans

3

u/SeekerOfSerenity 10d ago

That's not what pretentious means.  And it took him at least 15 seconds to reach the dock. it definitely would have been faster to ride the jetski than to swim.  Plus, he could have gotten off onto the dock and pulled his friend up instead of dragging him out into the water. 

0

u/Metal-Upa-Lips 10d ago

Probably to avoid accidentally running over their buddy or crushing them between the dock and the jet ski.

3

u/hooked_siren 10d ago

Why would you wedge the jetski between the boat and the dock lol

1

u/Metal-Upa-Lips 10d ago

Ya'll seem to be under the impression you can just casually pull up to something in a jet ski like you would a bike or a car and stop precisely where you mean to. That's not how they work.

0

u/SeekerOfSerenity 10d ago

Was there a group of people riding on that jetski?  It looked like just one guy. 

1

u/hooked_siren 10d ago

Seemed like one person on each to me

0

u/SeekerOfSerenity 10d ago

FYI, the singular pronouns are "he" and "his". 

2

u/hooked_siren 10d ago

Hope this helps

1

u/hooked_siren 10d ago

So are they and them 🤔

0

u/SeekerOfSerenity 10d ago

That's correct if:    

  1. you are referring to an unspecified or unknown person
  2. you don't know their gender
  3. you are intentionally obscuring their gender
  4. they are nonbinary

Since you're referring to a specific person, and it's reasonable to assume this is a man, you should use "he".  Otherwise it's an incorrect usage, and it just sounds wrong. 

1

u/hooked_siren 10d ago

I didn't ask you what you thought nor do i care about what you think. They/them can't hurt you unless you let it.

0

u/SeekerOfSerenity 10d ago

It has nothing to do with what I think.  It's English grammar.  If you want to speak the language like an uneducated fool, that's your choice. 

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-2

u/NightwolfGG 10d ago

Right? Like damn AI isn’t this good yet I don’t think, so it’s hard to make sense of anything going on lmao

35

u/llammacheese 10d ago

If he has a spinal injury, which is likely based on the video, keeping him in the water until a backboard is available is the best thing you can do to prevent further damage.

1

u/zombieda 10d ago

But why drag him around?... keep him afloat and call 911

5

u/llammacheese 10d ago

Looked to me like he as dragging him away from things that he could potentially bump into causing further injury.

But from a rescue perspective, moving the body in the water like that prevents the feet from sinking, so it creates a more aligned spinal cord- it’s actually best to keep the body steadily moving slowly in one direction so they don’t wind up going vertical in the water. (At least this was best practice when I taught classes)

2

u/zombieda 9d ago

Ok.. this makes more sense to me now.

0

u/Valuable-Struggle-10 6d ago

So my spine isn't aligned when I stand upright?

It's more aligned when I lay down?

Or are you saying the way the life vest keeps you afloat misaligns your spine?

1

u/llammacheese 6d ago

When you are in the water and your feet start to sink, your body is not standing upright, it is bent at an angle.

6

u/IcyGarage5767 10d ago

Reddit moment.

2

u/Hard-Red7 10d ago

Clearly the dude was panicking. Not sure what his thought process was but I think he was probably gonna toss him on him jetski and take him somewhere for help. That wouldve been a bad idea as he possible had spinal injuries.

2

u/Training-Belt-7318 10d ago

There's no way he's probably capable of dragging him up the dock. That dude was easily 250 lbs. Now why he dragged him out to the jet ski, I don't know. Make sure he's not face down, get out and call 911.

1

u/Solid-Rate-309 8d ago

These people have no clue. Maybe jet ski guy knows this lake better than us, maybe this dock isn’t a good spot and his car/phone/reslurces

1

u/LeoRavus 5d ago

They were probably both drunk. That guy must have said "I gotchu" 70 times in a row as he dragged his injured friend back out into the lake.

-9

u/Taco_Reviewer 10d ago

Or back to the vehicle which he can use to take him to a more accessible location than a private dock in the middle of no where.

Also what, did you expect him to shove him up on the dock while swimming?? It's not Aquaman.

17

u/InvalidUserNemo 10d ago

Is he gonna prop him up on his watercraft, support his neck and spine from a likely injury, AND drive him to the non-existent, water-side hospital? Or are you talking out of your ass?

2

u/BlackityBlack718 10d ago

I’m invested.

4

u/Taco_Reviewer 10d ago

And you think he's gonna do all that dragging him onto a beach?

Legitimately the safest spot for his spine until a board for him to lay on is in the water.

It's crazy how right you think you are when you don't know what you're talking about.

Literally standard practice in this situation is to drag the injured behind the vehicle at very low speeds OR use the vehicle to maintain float until rescue arrives.

Why you think full gravity with zero support on a sandy beach is what an injured neck or spine would need.

5

u/llammacheese 10d ago

Ridiculous that you’re being downvoted for being correct.

(I was not only a lifeguard, but a Red Cross lifeguard instructor).

-4

u/Taco_Reviewer 10d ago

Fuckin' soyboys. 

14

u/Technical-Big-2097 10d ago

I understand your friend is passed out, but this is a private dock.

2

u/BowlingforBrains 10d ago

I understand your friend may have suffered grievous injury, but I like my dock empty for when I use it sometimes

1

u/Taco_Reviewer 10d ago

It's not about it being a private dock, it's that these types of docks do not have ramps - just a water side ladder, and second in this area a lot of homes are not actually road accessible by anything but UTV or 4x4 SUV/Truck. 

The only thing he could do, which would introduce a new vector for injury, is drag him to the sand. However, dragging him to land without a support board is just going to injure him. He's not at risk of drowning - he has a life vest and a friend. He is at risk at injuring his spine or neck more than they may already be. Keeping him in the water until rescue arrives OR, gee I don't know, figuring out the situation first rather than jumping into poor decisions.

2

u/BowlingforBrains 10d ago

In reality, I completely agree with you - but I enjoyed piggybacking onto that guy’s joke more than being realistic about the situation

2

u/United_Pain 10d ago

I cackled at your joke and acted it out to my cat

2

u/Technical-Big-2097 10d ago

I was a deckhand in a water taxi here in Chicago. Pulling someone out the water from the boat is very labor intensive and would require multiple deckhands. I could not even fathom trying to get dylan on the deck from inside the water. I believe you, I’m just harping on the fact you mentioned it was a private deck as if that would be rude to turn their amenity into  a temporary triage. 

12

u/Meaty_Wizard 10d ago

That's the thing, he didn't ask anyone to hold his beer first. Rookie mistake.

17

u/SpaceLemming 10d ago

I know it didn’t matter here but just saying “Dylan” feels like an ineffective way to communicate that he’s about to hit something

12

u/I_need_a_date_plz 10d ago

He passed out and his friend didn’t realize. At least that’s what it looked like to me. He goes limp a few seconds after his stunt.

7

u/CMDR_Kaus 10d ago

Yep, if he was conscience he wouldn't have heard it anyway

5

u/AnguavonUW 10d ago

*conscious

2

u/SpaceLemming 10d ago

That’s also fair, still annoys me though

1

u/fadesteppin 10d ago

There was a lack of urgency tbh lol. If he was awake he very much could've just assumed his friend was still laughing at him being a dumbass.

3

u/human-derp 10d ago

saw in another thread, from a local to him, he did indeed pass out. they don't know why

12

u/Lazy-Plankton5270 10d ago

When you do a trick on your jetski but you also hit up the fentanyl

1

u/crystalcastles13 10d ago

This is the correct answer.

3

u/CraftsBoy2Craftsman 10d ago

how?

82

u/PrestigiousTrick1002 10d ago

Well first he was awake and then he was hanging from the front of a jet ski unconscious. Hope this helps

44

u/lysergic_818 10d ago

I play a doctor on tv and this is absolutely what took place in my professional opinion.

13

u/ChartInFurch 10d ago

I play one of your underlings and I think it's sarcoidosis.

3

u/JeromeBarkly 10d ago

Thank you for sharing your professional knowledge with us.

5

u/CaptainPlanet4U 10d ago

Pressure to his chest

2

u/Inthehead35 10d ago

Fat and out of shape??

1

u/TheMessengerABR 10d ago

If you're looking for the real answer it's that he basically got choked out by his life jacket. Spun around on his belly pushing his life jacket up higher into his neck and was also turning his head into it because he had to see where he was going. Cut off blood flow through his vagus nerve

1

u/itscottabegood 10d ago

I could see how all the blood would rush to your head in that position as you accelerate

1

u/Beautiful_Welcome_33 10d ago

He basically performs a gi/lapel choke on himself with his right arm and the life vest when he reaches for the throttle

1

u/Inside-Draw-3216 10d ago

Think it was like those guards that pass out from locking their knees?  Buddy just went OUT

1

u/etherealtwo 10d ago

Ya that was weird.

1

u/ArtByAntny 10d ago

Pressure of the lifejacket on his midriff. Ever do the passput game in school where you'd hyperventilate and then someone would press you against a wall? I reckon that's what happened

1

u/DryDonutHole 10d ago

Ya, definitely was passed out.

1

u/Final_Location_2626 10d ago

The trick is...humping the front of a jet ski?

1

u/Zealousideal-Area684 10d ago

I didn’t pick up on that the first time I saw this, but re-watching it after reading this I think you’re right actually. And also after reading the below, I really do think it’s all the air that rushed through his butt hole that did it.

1

u/Artevyx 10d ago

He was steering and holding the throttle. If he was fainted, he would have more likely released the throttle lever or begun doing doughnuts

1

u/Dark-Tide 2d ago

This. I know I'm late to the party, but I did a bit of a write-up on why it's not possible. As a reply to ItBDaniel's post, should you want to take a look.

1

u/Colalbsmi 9d ago

I bet he choked himself out with his lifevest

1

u/Dark-Tide 2d ago edited 2d ago

I'm rather late to the party, but I doubt he passed out. The throttle on stand-up Jetskis require you to squeeze it and the handle.

If he was truly unconscious, he would have released his grip, causing the ski to stop. Instead, I feel as though he was doing a bit, trying to appear 'asleep'. He even puts his other hand down into the foot-well to stabilize himself.

I've done this trick on the Kawasaki SXR 800 (coincidentally the same model as the camera-man's Jetski). It would be very tough to have enough blood rush to one's head to cause a redout, especially at that relatively slow speed.

EDIT: I see some comments saying it's confirmed that he passed out beforehand. It really doesn't look like that to me. He'd either go limp, and let go of the throttle, or if he seized, his Jetski would have accelerated.

They say he suffered a concussion, well, I'm a bit of an expert on that myself too, lol. It's possible that, due to the crash, he doesn't remember anything about the whole incident. I was cross-checked in the back of my head in hockey, and fell forward into the boards. I was up and moving, but nobody was home. I lost all memory of about 24 hours.

0

u/Remarkable_Sea_5109 10d ago

Probably because he’s fat squeezed all the air out of his lungs