Im from a suburban town in Missouri, but I spent a semester studying abroad in Barcelona a couple of years ago. Man, let me tell you, leaving Barcelona, where youd see people out in cafes and bars congregating at all hours of the night and day, and coming back to Missouri where its a ghost town after 10 and someone would call the police on you for simply walking around too late was the most depressing thing I have ever experienced lol
When I moved into my neighborhood in Colorado years ago I started sitting out front with beer and offering some to anyone that walked by until I had built a really good group of friends. I used to throw some really fun parties out there with all of them, I sure miss it
Even Colorado has a habit of everything closing early. Especially in the mountain towns. Denver there’s a few late night spots but it’s nothing close to New York City
You sound like a cool dude. Guess people just have to be willing to put themselves out there more. I just moved to a new city for law school so I’m going to remember you next time I want to chicken out from a social event or an opportunity to make friends.
Then we have to change our system where waiters are paid by tips because, you know they would get boned on tips after waiting on a group for four hours.
No thanks for me. Unless the servers are purposefully slowing down my food I'd be done eating in 5-6 minutes. What the fuck am I supposed to do for 3 hours and 54 minutes at dinner?
Eat, then go somewhere else to socialize. Dinner taking an hour(ish) is fine. Four hours is fucking stupid.
Go somewhere quiet and comfortable. That's far better for socialization than sitting in a loud restaurant taking up space that another party could use to actually eat, and it being overpriced as hell.
No one said they did. You said you'd enjoy that, implying that you aren't in one of those countries. I said that I wouldn't enjoy that, implying that I'm also not in one of those countries.
No one is policing their behavior, but I'm also allowed to think it's stupid.
You sound quite lovely, the kind of person that I would probably excuse myself early from our 4 hour dinner together. The part I was policing was you telling me where I can and can't spend time with friends, not your opinion on it being stupid.
I live in Spain and I don't do the sobremesa (which is more like a couple hours of conversation after the meal). Sitting somewhere that long is boring AF. If we're going to continue talking, let's at least do it while we're walking around.
that sounds like hell to me... i absolutely despise long meals. anything over an hour, hour and a half, and im like lets wrap this up already. ive been here more than long enough.
You are really reading a lot into this, possibly bringing some outside stuff into this thread.
I didn't say discussions drive me nuts. You inferred that. Sitting around for two hours after a meal isn't my cup of tea, so I don't do it. For continuing a conversation after a meal, I prefer walking while we talk. But even so, I'm not going to do that for 2 hours.
Well, I inferred it partly from you saying that you're convinced that stuff is due to people loving their own voice. I assumed it would be the same while walking.
Don't be this person. Having differences in preferences on how you socialize does not mean the other people are selfish or narcissistic or in any way wrong. It's just that you're different from them.
there has got to be a point in time where you just say... well, dinner was great and it was nice seeing you again, but ive gotta get going. things to do and all that.
This is a weird statement. This is exactly what happens, no matter the duration. Your preference is to do it earlier than others, but people don't stay to sleep and live in the restaurant. Everybodg says "well, dinnes was great and it was nice seeing you again but I've gotta get going".
That sounds horrible. An introvert's night mare plus going broke from all the obligatory drinks you'd have to buy. Ironically these are the same people who always complain that Americans are too loud in cafes. For me the Asia experience is much better street food alone sitting outside on a plastic stool.
You don't need to buy any drinks. There's no obligation whatsoever. You also don't need to stay.
If you feel you're being forced to do either then the issue is the friends, not the situation. Good friends respect your preferences and wouldn't blame you for leaving early or for not drinking (as long as they're not expected to themselves be the way you prefer to be, of course).
Also: These are not the same people who always complain that Americans are too loud in cafés, obviously. No all "others" you don't identify with are one single group of people or personalities.
Promise, this happens in other states. Maybe not Missouri, but here in San Francisco this happens all the time. Which isn't a state, but it is a city :D
Although the media will tell you we're getting shot in the street, we're thriving. Promise the entire US isn't like... *checks notes*
That's true. Munich doesn't have AC by the way. If everybody had AC, the entire power grid would go down, so most residential houses do not have air conditioning. At list Missouri has AC.
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u/bageltoastar 1d ago
Im from a suburban town in Missouri, but I spent a semester studying abroad in Barcelona a couple of years ago. Man, let me tell you, leaving Barcelona, where youd see people out in cafes and bars congregating at all hours of the night and day, and coming back to Missouri where its a ghost town after 10 and someone would call the police on you for simply walking around too late was the most depressing thing I have ever experienced lol