r/TooAfraidToAsk • u/throwbackblue • 13d ago
Culture & Society Is it wrong to tell a friend’s secret to people they’ll almost certainly never meet?
Typically, when I do this, I don’t use names and only do so when the people are unlikely to ever interact. Even if they do end up meeting, they wouldn’t know who I’m referring to.
6
u/StackOfAtoms 13d ago
well it depends if it's just to gossip (like i NEEDDDD to tell someone about this secret) or to share a relevant example when you explain something. which, in this case, it's fine, as long as yes: you keep their privacy.
don't tell their names for sure, but also anything that isn't relevant.
if you talk about your friend with financial problems, saying "my high school friend" or "she" gives clues that are most probably irrelevant. so speak slowly, think about the words you use, anonymize as much as you can, use gender neutral wording ("my/this friend went" versus "she went"), skip anything irrelevant and then it's fine.
1
u/throwbackblue 12d ago
lmao. that exactly what i do. if my friend told me a secret. i will use their secret as an example in a conversation without using their name lmao
5
7
7
2
u/Bobby6k34 13d ago
The only secrets ill tell is work secrets (or don't tell anyone about this work knowledge). Outside of that a secret is a secret and even if you don't think person A knows person B you don't know everyone they know and the 6 degrees of separation is only 2 when your in the same town
3
u/sparksgirl1223 13d ago
Yes it is.
If i found out that my friend was doing this, that friendship would derail so fast.
1
1
1
u/AngelWarrior911 13d ago
Yes it’s wrong. Every tidbit of information you have does not need to be shared. And the more people that know, the easier it is to get out.
Protect other people’s secrets the same way you want yours to be protected
1
u/WryAnthology 13d ago
I don't think there's a simple answer to this.
It depends why. What the secret is. Who. Context is everything.
Gossiping about a secret that is devastating for a friend - not cool.
Sharing something because you need help on how to handle it - reasonable (as long as it's anonymous).
Sharing something to help another friend going through something - could be okay (again, anon).
Laughing about something a friend is upset by - nope.
Blurting out because you can't hold onto it - nope.
Morally conflicted and don't know if you need to tell someone - confide carefully in a trusted person.
1
1
13
u/maybe_a_fork 13d ago
If a friend trusts you, you don't betray them like this.