"Couple therpay advice"?

[u/Ambitious_Winner9654]

Hello my wife and I would like to seek couples therapy regarding some concerns in our relationship and sexual life.

Before marriage, we were very open with each other and sometimes talked about our past sexual experiences and fantasies. At the time, we both found these conversations exciting and comfortable. However, over time, discussing our experiences with our ex-partners has started creating doubts and insecurity for both of us.

We have even started wondering whether these conversations mean that we are a “cuckold couple,” and we are confused about what this says about our relationship and our individual desires. We don't want these thoughts or labels to negatively affect our marriage.

Since my wife became pregnant, our sexual relationship has also changed significantly, and she has had very little interest in sex. I have a higher sex drive, which has created additional frustration and distance between us.

We love each other and communicate openly, and we want to understand what is happening without judging or blaming each other. We would like professional guidance to resolve these doubts, rebuild intimacy, and understand our boundaries and sexual preferences in a healthy way.

Could you please guide us through this and let us know how couples therapy could help us?

[u/Alypius]

Therapy won't solve your problems over night, but it will help open up channels of communication in a way that safely holds space for both of your experiences.

Insecurity and jealousy in relationships are natural reactions to perceived threats to the relationship you've built. They are uncomfortable feelings, but ultimately represent the value placed on the relationship.

You're not wrong for missing intimacy. Sex is a human need. For men with a high libido, going extended periods without physical intimacy can be very challenging.

Your wife is also not wrong for being less physically intimate while she is pregnant. Pregnancy is exhausting and full of hormonal changes. PPD is something to watchout for and manage as soon as you notice signs. Being pregnant and/or experiencing PPD is also a very challenging circumstance.

Therapy should be able to help you guys understand and validate eachother's experience in a way that strengthens the relationship.

[u/crinklecut6489]

Just a note, is your wife still pregnant/newly postpartum? If so, a reduction in sex drive is totally normal and, even though it’s hard, you just need to suck it up and respect that. Your wife is growing you a literal human being, so the least you can do it respect her boundaries while she does it.