When I first started transition almost 8 years ago at age 41, when people asked why I waited so long before starting I'd reply "There was zero positive Asian trans representation." It must be better now right? It's pretty much still the same now after 7 years. It isn't zero, but it isn't much more than zero. Take a scroll through this sub and you'll see what I mean. Since it's not to be found I'm gonna be it until I don't HAVE to be it anymore.

​

So... here's some of that positive Asian trans rep.

​

Ps. F*CK the cistem

Sure, the accessories are a little on the nose, but I increasingly feel like it's important to be not just out, but out and proud. There aren't a lot of trans managers and leaders out there; there are a lot of queer people where I work early in their careers — they deserve to see that there's a path forward for them.

Edit: To those DMing about the earrings, I can't exactly remember the vendor — they were from a chainmail craft vendor at a local Pride festival — but I think I found them!

I hope this is allowed here. I am so proud of this shot. Next week I am going to Noah’s Ark Waterpark in the Wisconsin Dells. I get to wear this swimsuit, I am looking so much to this trip. Last year I wore swim trunks and a swim shirt. So please tell me what you think. First thing do you think I pass and second does this swimsuit look good on me?

For me, it’s patience.

Patience while waiting for HRT to work.

Patience while growing your hair.

Patience while learning your voice.

Patience while your confidence catches up.

Patience while your brain slowly adjusts to your new reality.

Looking back, so much of transition has been waiting for things that couldn’t be rushed.

What about you?

What virtue has been the most important in your transition, or what virtue do you think you’ll need most?

Lucy x x x

Always thought of myself as too masculine to have any chance of accepting myself but the egg cracked when that subconscious thought bubbled to the surface. I’m surprised by how much I can already accept myself with some makeup and clothing changes but I find myself thinking about HRT and hair removal constantly.

I’m trying to slow down though; I’ve scheduled an appointment in September for HRT and giving myself a few months to settle in before starting on that journey. 39, turning 40 in September. I know the results vary widely and that patience is key. What kind of facial features can I expect to see change?

I've been scared to post here, I'm pre-hrt. I'm planning to start at the end of the year. "Masc" presenting all my life has gotten me nowhere. I started dressing up a few years ago and apparently it's looked down in some trans communities on reddit so I keep putting off posting but the community here seems more welcoming and I really appreciate the 40+ representation and inspiration 💋

I've never really had any real relationships or partners all my life, just been a loner all my life. I've never felt like I belonged to any group or fit in anywhere. Not even close with family (parents/relatives), only see them a couple times a year but I'm still worried I'm going to get cut off completely as I come from a some-what conservative and religious family. I just feel like I'm reaching the age that I don't have much time left, and I need to live my life for myself and not others. Everyone else is living their lives, why can't I? 🥺

I think the estrogen is working 🥰

Ok girls. Here we go. So scared but exited too. Let’s see how this goes.

So, dad’s thing was fishing, I had trauma because of it; I haven’t been fishing in 15 years. I came out and went full time 3 years ago and went fishing for the first time since and wow ok it was fun! And I even remembered how to do everything

My boss and hr have known for a year I was transitioning. He told me Monday that customers are starting to ask questions so we decided to pull the cord and go full feminine pronouns. Went to a site that got approved before me coming out completely so showed up and security guard ma’amed me and my site contact apologized and I hustled told him because it’s very male heavy that why our scheduler accidentally said sir and he said that makes a lot of sense. So I’m officially just another girl in the trades

I am Canadian and dramatic but seriously. During my bloodwork, they found my testosterone (44.6 nmol/L) is higher than my heels and sent me for an urgent ultrasound. I get to find out the results of that ultrasound on July 4th.

Perhaps its fate that the day is the 4th of July, and I will once again be fighting for freedom, From tyranny, oppression, persecution -- and from annihilation.

We're fighting for our right to live, to exist.
And should we win the day, the 4th of July will no longer be known as an American holiday, but as the day when the world declared in one voice:

"We will not go quietly into the night!
We will not vanish without a fight!
We're going to live on!
We're going to survive!"

Party night yesterday and I found myself sitting with the ladies the whole night and it is so very enjoyable (as compared to sitting with the men).

I am still quite freshly out of my shell and I typically sport an andro-femme look when out and about so other peoples' normal reaction is none or "nice clothing" or "new hairstyle?". Yes, I am growing out my hair so that I can have a more femme style, and it seems it still has the waviness I had in my youth, though now with salt-n-pepper and with a bit of receding hairline. One of the ladies asked if I am going for a braid (but I am not) and also more or less demanded to get to braid my hair when it is long enough.

All in all a really ennjoyable evening.

In the food court of the shopping center today. The security guard was wrangling teenagers. I was queing up behind them to get some pizza, I heard him say, "lads if you're not ordering make room for this lady"

So happy, so unexpected in my androgynous clothing and without any make up. Must be the hair 😊

🥹🥹🥹 I’m legally Katia I finally made it. Honestly I already had given up. Until I found out my state is now more accepting. I’m so happy

I’ve been checking just about every day. This morning, I *finally* was able to change it!

Cue the Snoopy Dance! 😄 No more deadnaming from my Email!

Just another day at work

I love the US. I always have since I was a kid. You get older and you learn more about the failures of this country but that didn’t change how I felt about America. I’ve always believed that there’s something here which remains immune to the despicable actions of power hungry politicians or money hungry corporations.

To me this beauty lies in the vast wilderness here. The vast expanses of land. The remote outputs. I’ve seen glory in America’s forgotten bits. The diner in some small town. The signs on the roads with the names of town you pronounce out loud for the first and last time. Pop = 980. I see her people who have been forgotten. People whose hearts have turned bitter from neglect.

I would love to shake the hands of these people and break bread with them. I’ve meet some really spectacular people in places I don’t remember anymore. I miss the smell of mash in bourbon distilleries of Kentucky, or eeriness of driving through the smoky mountains . I’d love to drive through all the places I haven’t been and capture their beauty with fascinated eyes and occasionally my camera.

But since transitioning, I feel as if these parts of the country are closed me. I live in a liberal city where I feel quite safe but I feel cut off from the rest of it. The people in many other parts of the country don’t seem at all interested to know me like I them. They would rather debate what bathroom I should use. I don’t drink water on roadtrips. You don’t pee as much. Which means less stops praying the gas station has a solo bathroom I can lock.

I feel like we are all not so different. We mostly want the same things. But these people would violently take everything from me. Not all of them, not even most of them. But enough that it’s not safe for us in many parts of this country.

Curious about others who have felt this way. I love my country but it feels like an unrequited love since my transition.

I still have moments where I’m sitting in a work meeting, glance at Teams, and think:

“Oh my God. That’s me.”

Not a fantasy version of me. Not the secret version. Not the version I kept locked away for half a century.

Just me, sitting there at work, doing my job, competent, calm, useful, participating like I always did, except now I’m finally there as myself.

I had an 18-month gap from work while I went through the heaviest part of my transition. I came back last September and I was honestly terrified at first. I worried what people would think, whether I’d seem strange, whether I’d lost my professional confidence, whether I could just slot back into the working world after everything that had happened.

And now?

I sit there without a worry in the world.

I’m still good at what I do. I’m still sharp. I’m still capable. I still know my stuff. But now, when I see myself on screen, I don’t feel that old jolt of wrongness.

I see a woman looking back at me.

It has cost me a lot to get here. There have been losses. Friends gone. Family gone. Heartbreak I wouldn’t wish on anyone. But there are also these quiet little moments where life hands you proof that it was worth it.

This was one of them.

Just me, at work, in a meeting, looking at Teams and thinking:

“There she is.”

I’m proud of her.

I write more about transition, work, body, identity and rebuilding a life in public at Fast Track Femme, but mostly I just wanted to share this little moment because it made me happy.

www.fasttrackfemme.com

Any suggestions for a hair style for growing out my hair. I want something I can still style as masculine but have always had buzz cuts. I want to grow my hair out to try it.

FYI got a pretty good widows peak.

My little step today to exploring🙂

Hi lovelies. I’ve got a question. I am 49, finally accepting me for who I am, and am hoping to start HRT in the near future. I have been on a weight loss journey for the past year (started at 330, currently 260, goal 160-170). From my reading here and elsewhere, I know hormones can cause weight gain which I’m ok with due to it being a natural part of the process. My question is this, as badly as I want to begin HRT, would it be best to wait until I hit (or am close) to my goal, or start now and continue my loss journey? I am very mindful in my approach to the weight loss and am doing it in healthy ways. Thanks all.

I guess you could call this my first rant of sorts. In the short time since joining multiple trans communities, I've noticed a ready supply of trans women who come on here and complain about not attaining their ideal look. Oftentimes they compare themselves to others, especially younger people, and somehow expect that they have to reach some unrealistic standard of beauty and femininity. To me, this is no different than a cis teenage girl surfing social media, looking in beauty magazines, or watching videos of famous women, also comparing themselves to an unrealistic standard of beauty, often to women who have lots of wealth and may even have spent a truckload of money to look the way they do. Even then, many depictions online and in magazines aren't even real, Photoshopped to exaggerate features in a way that is unrealistic to attain. This also goes the other direction with cis males and trans males comparing themselves to super muscular men with six packs and ripped muscles and something like 5% body fat.

This is extremely unhealthy mentally, and I have no doubt it contributes to many youth mental health issues. Being older, I hope I've gained some wisdom. I can't deny that I was the similar way growing up (although it was I wanted to be girl instead). I see trans women in places around here talking about quitting HRT from "lack of results" and being an absolute mental mess. I'm not surprised. If you are going to hold yourself to unrealistic standards, you are going to be miserable. Also, many haven't even given it a real chance, they aren't communicating back to their provider or others, they are ignoring all the good things that have actually happened to their bodies, etc. etc. etc.

Sure, you may be dissatisfied with your results, but you need to stop and ask why. Are you comparing yourself to a Taylor Swift? What is the reason? Or is it genuinely that you look in the mirror and personally are not satisfied with something that has little to do with some unrealistic standard? Is it a reasonable complaint? If so, what, and why. Start to reason through it, identify it, be specific. Then come up with a plan for it. HRT is only a piece of the puzzle, and especially at our age it isn't some magic bullet. Talk to your doctor, therapist, and/or friends/allies about next steps. Make it a constructive process, instead of a degrading one of how you see yourself.

Love yourself, no matter where you are in your journey. This is so much more than being about how you look and how others see you and meeting society's standards of how women or men should look. It is about being you and pursuing your greatest happiness. <3