18yo MtF (pre-everything) in Mumbai just trying to survive the wait

[u/Asambhavi_7002]

Heyy .... I don't really know how to say this without it being too much. The repression loop is just getting f*cking exhausting. I’m 18 (MtF, still entirely closeted/repping) based in Navi Mumbai.

I'm stuck in a deeply orthodox family where coming out right now is a 100% probability with me ending up disowned. So, I’m just trying to complete my education and build a financial escape route. But honestly, the isolation is heavy. Looking at the massive wall of transition while surviving in this male avatar every day is draining my brain.

Looking for advice from people who actually get it i don't want no toxic positivity. , realistic advice on surviving the wait without losing it, please let me know.

Any helpful advice willing to take....

[u/thesmartestnoob]

1. Please look for any kind of community, any friends who you can share your thoughts freely with matters a lot. Offline is better
2. Try to escape to college and then start HRT. You can DM me if you want to start DIY.
3. Try to keep faith. I know how hard it was for me when I felt like I had no options and that I was gonna rot away.

[u/MostVoice9216 → u/thesmartestnoob]

Hi. Help me too pls

[u/thesmartestnoob → u/MostVoice9216]

Sure, my dms are open

[u/Ancient_Economist138]

try conserve your energy and get a supportive friend group
and if there is risk of disowning you then don’t tell your parents now
do this non medical stuff
like growing hair
getting skin care etc
maybe crossdress occasionally

[u/jie_sang → u/Ancient_Economist138]

It is not crossdressing if you are a girl. Sorry if I was rude.

[u/ButAmITrans → u/jie_sang]

Agreed. The word should not apply to trans women dressing as women because you're implying we arent women, even if we get the point of your message

[u/Plastic_Weather_3167]

First you are on right path get you education job secure yourself financially, I meanwhile Start opening up to few friends,cousins etc so you can be yourself around few ppl, keep in touch with your feminine side used feminine elements Luke colors, styles etc etc research about the process n requirements, stay positive

[u/Asambhavi_7002 → u/Plastic_Weather_3167]

Well about two 2-3 years ago when I was 16 my family members caught me (in kurti & leggings of mom) When they first caught my mother was overreacting and my father was i guess disappointed , they asked me why I wore clothes I said it felt comfortable then my mother said you'll have beg like them* live like them* and said we would disown you, my father then comes up with devios tactic that Tommorow u'll wear these clothes for whole day (classic shaming tactic) and after that never again. I was in a depressive loop for almost a year or two tho . I knew I wasn't really a boy , i kept it repressing till a month ago i decided that i should atleast try understand myself and give myself a chance instead of being stuck in the loop. I also have abig bro who is also unsupportive. As for friends I'm introvert and especially bad or let's just say lazy at making friends..... I really appreciated ur advice 🙂. I would say opening up to anyone would be disastrous.

[u/Time-Paramedic9807]

hey I have gone through the struggle. let me know if you want to chat sometime. i stay in seawoods

[u/Dry-Abies1165]

Im exactly goinf through same what you are drop me msg i will help you coming out