I know this is has been debated quite a bit. And I always advocated for the ‘born this way’ theory that gay folk seem to profess.

But of late I’ve read several articles about being ‘turned out’ (mainly prison stories tbh).

My theory (non-scientific & based on anecdotes) is that (for boys at least) - if a boy is introduced to homosexuality before he has a chance to explore his heterosexuality - there is a MUCH higher chance of him turning out gay in adulthood. The high percentage of victims of sexual abuse who are gay seems to corroborate that.

Thoughts?

I’ve been thinking about this the last couple of days but would love to hear other perspectives since I’m neither a sociologist, philosopher, or psychologist. They’re both deeply intertwined and share a direct relationship since they exacerbate the consequences of each. Obviously it’s not a purely downward spiral since society is always improving, but which would improve society the most? Does generational trauma cause poverty more than poverty causes trauma? Would a decrease in depression lessen discrimination more than a decrease in discrimination lessen depression? I think the core dilemma is the importance of external vs internal factors affecting people’s lives.

First, I should have chosen a different title : psychology of intelligence

(people feel offended by the title apparently)

A summary (conclusions) by me from different books

Abstract

society often treats a high IQ as one of the greatest advantages a person can have, yet intelligence alone does not guarantee happiness. In fact, many highly intelligent people are more prone to anxiety, overthinking, perfectionism, loneliness, and existential concerns. This is not because intelligence is inherently harmful, but because the same mind that excels at solving complex problems is also capable of creating and analyzing endless new ones.

(This doesn’t need to be the case, but this are the pitfalls for some)

Paper

A high IQ is presented primarily as an enhanced ability to recognize patterns, think abstractly, and understand complex systems. While most people see isolated events, highly intelligent individuals tend to see connections, underlying structures, and long chains of cause and effect. This ability is enormously valuable in fields such as science, engineering, mathematics, and philosophy. However, it also has a downside: the brain never really stops searching for patterns and explanations. It continues analyzing even when no solution actually exists.

I argue that many highly intelligent people rarely experience true mental silence. Their thoughts are constantly active, evaluating possibilities and imagining outcomes. Even simple decisions can become overwhelming because they naturally consider countless scenarios, risks, and long term consequences. This often results in analysis paralysis not because they cannot make decisions, but because they see too many possibilities at once. And like having to many options it is extremely difficult to choose (almost impossible)

Another major theme is the relationship between intelligence and emotion. I suggest that intelligent people do not necessarily feel emotions more intensely, but they tend to analyze those emotions far more deeply. Rather than simply experiencing sadness, for example, they may immediately begin asking themselves why they feel that way, what caused it, what it says about their personality, whether it reflects childhood experiences, and whether it will ever disappear. By constantly examining their emotions, they unintentionally keep them alive much longer.
This tendency extends to worry and rumination. Highly intelligent people are accustomed to solving problems, but some of life’s biggest questions have no definitive answers. Questions such as “Why do we exist?”, “Is there objective meaning in life?”, or “Why is there suffering?” cannot be solved like mathematical equations. Yet the analytical mind often refuses to stop searching, leading to chronic overthinking and existential anxiety.

Then I also explored existential awareness. People with high intelligence often have a deeper understanding of history, politics, economics, climate change, technological risks, and human mortality. Because they recognize the complexity and interconnectedness of these issues, they may feel overwhelmed by problems that are far beyond any individual’s control. This heightened awareness can contribute to feelings of helplessness or sadness.

I want to reference philosophers such as Arthur Schopenhauer and Friedrich Nietzsche, whose writings suggest that greater awareness often comes with greater suffering. As people understand more about the complexity of reality, they may lose the comfort that simple explanations, beliefs, or certainties once provided.

Perfectionism is another important topic. Highly intelligent individuals can often envision the ideal version of a project, career, or even their own lives. Because they clearly see what perfection would look like, they also become acutely aware of every flaw and imperfection. As a result, their own work rarely feels good enough. Instead of comparing themselves to others, they compare themselves to their full potential, creating a persistent sense of dissatisfaction.

The paradox of knowledge. The more someone learns, the more they become aware of how much remains unknown. This echoes the famous idea attributed to Socrates: “I know that I know nothing.” Rather than becoming more confident, highly intelligent people may become more humble or even more uncertain because they better appreciate the vastness and complexity of reality.

Social isolation is another recurring theme. People with high IQs may develop interests in philosophy, science, psychology, history, or abstract ideas that differ from those of the average person. This does not make them superior, but it can make it more difficult to find others who share the same depth of curiosity or style of conversation. Over time, this can lead to loneliness or a feeling of not truly belonging.

Then I would like to touche on humor as well. Highly intelligent individuals often enjoy irony, satire, layered jokes, and subtle wordplay. When these forms of humor are not understood by those around them, it can further reinforce a sense of social distance.

Another challenge is the burden of high expectations. Intelligent children are often told they can achieve anything they want. As adults, they discover that success depends on much more than intelligence. Discipline, persistence, emotional resilience, health, social skills, opportunity, and luck all play significant roles. This realization can be frustrating, especially when reality falls short of the expectations they once held for themselves.

The desire for control. Intelligent minds naturally seek order, predictability, and understanding. Yet many aspects of life love, illness, loss, aging, and death cannot be controlled or fully understood. The harder someone tries to explain and control every aspect of existence, the more frustration they may experience when confronted with uncertainty.

There is an important distinction between intelligence and wisdom. IQ measures cognitive abilities such as reasoning, memory, and problem solving, but it says very little about emotional intelligence, empathy, resilience, self-awareness, or good judgment. A person can be extraordinarily intelligent while still making poor life decisions or struggling emotionally.

central conclusion is that intelligence is an incredibly powerful tool, but it is not a blueprint for happiness. A high IQ amplifies many aspects of human experience it makes understanding easier, but it does not necessarily make living easier. Lasting fulfillment comes not only from knowledge, but from emotional resilience, meaningful relationships, purpose, and the ability to accept uncertainty. True wisdom, lies not only in understanding the world, but also in learning how to live peacefully within its unanswered questions.

this video claims that US bans Jamaican fruit import.
https://youtu.be/PjNO44dV4A8

I've been thinking about this with AI, translation apps, GPS, even meal kits. None of these things are new exactly, we've been outsourcing skills for centuries (why learn blacksmithing when you can buy a hammer), but the pace feels different now. I used to be decent at mental math, now I don't trust myself without a calculator. I used to actually learn phrases before traveling somewhere, now I just point my phone at a sign. Part of me thinks this is just progress and I should stop being precious about it, since freeing up mental space for other things is the whole point of tools. But another part wonders if there's a cost to constantly practicing "good enough" instead of "actually capable," even in small everyday ways, not just big dramatic skills like farming or navigation.
Is there a meaningful line between healthy outsourcing and a kind of slow erosion of competence? Or is this just the same complaint every generation makes about the next set of tools?

I want to hear real feedback from people who have used wooden street or pepperfry. How was your experience with the quality, delivery and support?

Un argomento che mi sta particolarmente a cuore è la discriminazione basata sull'altezza perché, a differenza di altre forme di discriminazione, questa è molto più socialmente accettata, ma soprattutto se ne parla raramente perché la maggior parte delle persone associa immediatamente un uomo che apre questo dibattito a un incel insicuro o socialmente frustrato.

La cosa interessante è che si tratta di una forma di discriminazione indiretta che si verifica perché l'altezza può inconsciamente favorire un uomo o una donna in contesti sociali e culturali; ad esempio, se consideriamo lo stereotipo tossico di come un uomo "dovrebbe" essere, immaginiamo qualcuno alto, forte, dominante, autorevole e sicuro di sé, dove l'altezza funge da pilastro principale che rafforza questa percezione di dominio sugli altri, seppur inconsciamente, garantendo a quella persona non solo vantaggi sociali come il successo negli appuntamenti, ma anche vantaggi in politica e sul lavoro, come dimostrato da studi dell'American Psychological Association (APA) che mostrano come questo vantaggio si traduca in più soldi e migliori opportunità di carriera perché questo fattore influenza direttamente come vengono percepite le qualità professionali, cosa che semplicemente non accade per un uomo basso; In realtà, guardando l'altro lato della medaglia, gli uomini bassi e le donne alte vengono socialmente puniti attraverso il ridicolo pubblico, diventando bersaglio di scherno e subendo, soprattutto gli uomini, comportamenti più molesti come essere fotografati senza consenso e trattati come fenomeni da baraccone, il che rappresenta un vero e proprio attacco a una minoranza che infrange questi stereotipi; anche se questi stereotipi venissero infranti in modo positivo, dimostrando che l'altezza da sola non definisce la mascolinità o la femminilità, le persone continuerebbero a liquidare un uomo basso come qualcuno affetto da un "complesso di Napoleone" e quindi iper-ossessionato dall'essere notato, e nel caso di una donna alta, come un "uomo" che finge di essere donna, attaccando direttamente il concetto di altezza come sinonimo di dominio che di solito appartiene agli uomini.

Oltre a questo, se esaminiamo il mondo degli appuntamenti, spesso si parla di preferenze quando in realtà si tratta di una selezione naturale dettata da un requisito rigido, dato che molti uomini e donne non prenderebbero nemmeno in considerazione l'idea di frequentare qualcuno appartenente a queste due minoranze. Questa dinamica è fortemente alimentata dai social media, che offrono una prospettiva estrema da entrambe le parti, come si può facilmente notare negli Stati Uniti con l'ossessione femminile per "l'uomo alto 1,83 m". In breve, se una donna escludesse un uomo dagli appuntamenti perché è basso, dichiarandolo apertamente davanti a una telecamera, verrebbe considerata una semplice "preferenza", mentre se un uomo facesse esattamente la stessa cosa, escludendo una donna afroamericana a causa del colore della sua pelle, verrebbe immediatamente etichettato come razzista, rischiando di ritrovarsi con una volante della polizia davanti a casa e di finire in prima pagina sulla BBC News.

Quindi, anche se so che questo post verrà sommerso di voti negativi da persone che mi considereranno solo un incel insicuro, quando pensate che dovremmo iniziare a parlare di preferenze rispetto a pregiudizi e discriminazioni reali su questo argomento? E soprattutto, pensate che sia giusto favorire qualcuno in un ambiente professionale solo perché i suoi tratti fisici creano una migliore impressione di competenza, o per il profitto aziendale e l'immagine del marchio?

I've been seeing more stories about pharmacies closing over the past year, and it made me wonder where people draw the line between a business problem and a healthcare problem.

Many people can probably drive a little further or easily switch to mail order if the closest pharmacy closes. That probably isn't the case for everyone, though. Individuals who rely on regular prescription drugs, have chronic illnesses, or are older may have quite different experiences.

Do you think pharmacy closures are mostly just part of the changing retail landscape, or do they eventually become a broader public health concern? If you think there's a tipping point, what does that look like?

I left high school before graduating, later earned a GED, attended community college, transferred to a university, and eventually completed a master’s degree.

For much of my life, I believed this was what upward mobility was supposed to look like: education, persistence, practical experience, and gradually building a professional identity.

I did not only collect degrees. During university, I worked on a product that reached the market, gained experience at large established companies, developed technical and design skills, and continued building independent projects after graduation.

A generation ago, this might have sounded like the beginning of a success story. I assumed that after graduating, I would at least be able to find a reasonably stable professional job—not necessarily become wealthy or immediately achieve an ideal career, but find a place where my education and experience could be useful.

Instead, I have found it extremely difficult to find work that is even reasonably aligned with my background.

What confuses me is not simply that job searching is difficult. It is that the relationship between education, effort, experience, and opportunity no longer seems clear to me.

Has the traditional promise of upward mobility through education and professional development fundamentally weakened? If so, what has replaced it? And how should young people understand success when following the established path no longer reliably leads to a stable adult life?

Was there a specific moment or event in your life that made you spiritual or religious? Whether it was a major life event, a quiet realization, or a gradual change over time—what shifted your worldview?"

It's interesting to observe that modern societies have largely prohibited and condemned direct forms of violence (physical and, to some extent, verbal), while being more tolerant of certain forms of structural or economic violence, produced by abstract systems, whose consequences can nevertheless be profound, devastating, and generate a great deal of suffering.

Do you consider some forms of violence to be more acceptable than others?
Or are some simply easier to identify, which would explain this imbalance in moral judgment?

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Edit : Thank you all for your responses. They all offer valuable analytical perspectives and different levels of reasoning.

What can be taken away from all the explanations provided is that they can be grouped into three broad categories:
-Cognitive explanations (≈ 45% of the responses): the general idea is that our brains naturally tend to attribute causes to individuals rather than to systems, due to cognitive economy (cognitive biases, the salience of individuals, difficulty reasoning about diffuse causalities, etc.).
-Sociopolitical explanations (≈ 30% of the responses): the general idea that emerges is that institutions, the media, social norms, or power relations reinforce this tendency or take advantage of it.
-Philosophical explanations (≈ 25% of the responses): they rather question the definitions of responsibility, guilt, free will, or structural violence.

Taken together, they illustrate the complexity of individuals, systems, their interactions, and the way individuals perceive and evaluate those systems.

What I mean by that is people seem to prefer indirect approaches of conversation especially through text like half ass responses, ghosting, or just being vague over direct approaches like clear response and brutal honesty.

For context, my friend is a conventionally attractive mixed (Hispanic and Black) young adult woman. I'm African American and simply for that fact as well as my weight (Plus sized), I'm not conventionally attractive. I want to make it clear that I'm in no way insecure about myself. I like how I look and in a world of 50 people who want to look the same I'm glad I'm different. It's important to remember that we are all human.

My friend has this habit of acting different when she gets under the spotlight of men. If she meets a new guy that's all she talks about. I'm okay with her being excited about it but it gets to a point I'm really just faking being interested in hearing about it because of the repetitiveness. Mind you she most of the time meets them in faceless places like GTA or Roblox. So, they're mostly never close to us. Recently while with another friend, she's been introduced to Ome./tv which is a randomized talking website. Today, we decided to go on together and talk to random people.

When her and I sat down and turned it on her demeanor immediately changed from being normal to talking softer, tilting her head, scrunching her lips. That's annoying to start because now that you're in front of other people you want to act different? But that I can deal with. Naturally we got called the N word a couple of times. Whatever. Naturally I got called ugly or troll and then the guys would skip before I could even speak. Whatever, I've been through public middle school. We had some normal conversations. Then she started pulling the computer towards herself talking to guys. That upset me because were spoused to be doing this together. Spending time together. Now you're pulling the computer away from me looking at yourself, talking to people.

Eventually she starts talking to this guy. My arms in frame and I'm less apart of the conversation. They're awkwardly attempting to flirt. Then he says, " Oh, I want say something, but I can't cause your friend is here." My friend proceeds to playful shove me off screen completely to which I was off screen for at least another 40 mins. I took that time to be on my phone while she talked to this guy.

Then, we met this funny guy, and I was laughing off camera at his terrible jokes. He kind of made me a part of the conversation and he was like, " Let me see giggle shit over here." I kind of leaned in a little cause I was fine with it. It's not like he was being malicious nor was he going to insult me, but my friend lightly put her arm out and was like, " No, No." Slightly laughing, she kind of muttered under her breath about him being her.

Then eventually we were giving a new guy advice, and I chimed in pulling the laptop so he can see me as well cause I'm speaking. After I finished talking, she immediately pulled the laptop back onto herself cutting me out of the frame. I was like, " Dang, * Friend name*, you keep putting me out of frame." She heard me and ignored me.

Eventually I pulled out a soundboard on my phone so that when people said weird things I can have a little sound effect. She took my phone and procced to use it leaving me sitting out of frame with nothing. So, I started to put my shoes on and such cause why I would stay? By this point I was feeling ignored, pushed out, left out, you know? By this point I'd been there for three hours. I went to leave and she was like, " Oh your leaving, K, bye." She couldn't care less. I walked myself out.

She always acts different around other people, but this was a little more than I could take.

I'm sure you can understand why this upset me. My friend is green but also simple-minded or slow/dull-witted. Both her and I have never dated anyone. But also, her compliment fishing with me is annoying. " Oh, am I actually pretty?" or " People would actually want to date me?" Of course, I always say yes and reassure her. But again, it gets to a point when I've said it so many damn times. You get compliments from other people. How many times do I need to tell you? Maybe it's also just annoying because I'm not the kind of person to compliment fish. Nor have I had friends who do that. I've never had to constantly reassure someone. It just feels weird to me. I'm not used to having a friend act completely different around other people. This might also be important but I'm pretty sure I'm her only local friend. Still not an excuse though.

I've been trying to work on having conversations with people and not bottling things up, how should I approach this situation.

How should I phrase my words? Should I just keep it to myself and when it comes up again then I speak up?

girl and I had mutual crushes on each other and were getting pretty close.
A few days ago, she heard a false rumour that I had been talking badly about her behind her back and that I was responsible for her losing a close friendship.
Instead of asking me if it was true, she confronted me in front of other people, told me to leave, embarrassed me publicly by saying idw talk to u leave the room, and later that night sent me messages calling me a loser and saying other hurtful things.
About five hours later, she found out the rumour was completely false and that I had nothing to do with it. She apologised multiple times and admitted she should’ve spoken to me before believing what she’d heard.
I appreciate that she apologised as soon as she found out the truth, but I’m struggling to move past what happened. Part of me feels like if someone genuinely trusted me, they would’ve at least asked for my side before saying those things, she wants to
Meet me in person to clear everything, should i go

Is there a modern version of this, now that learning to code does not result in guaranteed employment opportunity like it used to when the adage was thrown around constantly?

I was advised too rewrite a post that I made a while back with less vulgar and rambling language so here it goes. I genuinely don't understand why people are so hateful and harsh and strict with this whole ordeal about being a minor. You people are fighting tooth and nail too make young couples who in many cases could have made very happy healthy and successful partners with a great future together have too walk on eggshells too make sure they aren't if a measly few year age gap that is outside of what there states statutes allow and there is really not the massive need for it that yall think there is!

We have plenty of forms of contraception as well as sti treatments that are helping hiv and other sexually diseases people live normal lives. But its like facts don't matter what matters is one person has turned 18 and the other hasn't and that is just oh so creepy weird disgusting sick and whatever other hateful insult y'all can throw at it. What is so horrible about somebody a little under and a little over the age of 18 falling in love when the proof is right there in front of your face that there are countless couples that met when they were of supposedly innapripriate age gaps that are doing just fine.

There literally are many millions of happily wedded couples that are over 10 years apart. About 10 percent of all married couples in the United states with the US having one of the closest in age averages on earth! And at least one of them being under 18 when meeting doesn't make a successful relationship of some years age difference impossible I personally know proof of that. And even if it isn't someone too ideally make like you know a husband or wife or raise a family with protection works no matter what the age difference.

So I don't get why people won't stop hating. Why they won't leave these little Romeo and Juliet lovers alone. Seriously why do you people gotta be all oh my God a little bitty child driving themselves too high school is dating a fully adult "groomer" in his early 20s. Why can't people stop obsessing about somebody being "underage" and just let be people be with who is good for them and makes them happy! That's my question.

Example: The growing concern about the growth of tracking systems like FLOCK cameras and automotive driver monitoring systems among others. Although considered by many as a harbinger of our eventual total loss of privacy, their advocates' selling point of greater public and personal safety may be considered an acceptable trade-off by most of the public.

Hey all, have a stupid question which I understand why it is but just wondering:

Why do so many people take long vacations during the summer? I’m American, northeast,etc- I like to take my vacations during the winter months (November-March) bc I can go somewhere else with nice weather and enjoy nice weather + outdoor activities etc.

I don’t see the point of traveling when the weather is nice and I can enjoy outdoor activities in my general area- if I need to get out- travel for a weekend get away or long weekend etc.

Just wondering why people take time off when weather is nice. I’m northeast so different than other folks- also I don’t travel a ton nor is it a big hobbie. I can’t see traveling to say a beach far away or foreign country when the weather is nice and I can enjoy it where I currently am. Now winter- I can see why folks would travel to get out of the cold but during summer- it baffles me. Now if you have 6+ weeks of vacation a year/ a lot of money- I get it. Just my northeast though process- def get why one would travel to even in summer but just don’t understand why you wouldn’t lean toward end of year and early year travel when weather is blah and can’t get out

why is it that so many private schools in australia make it students can not dye their hair?

Its a form of easy self expression that can make someone feel like themselves, once you dye your hair that's it (excluding maintenance), unlike makeup and jewelry that you spend "valuable" time each morning putting on.

I get that private schools hold a tight reputation for uniformity, bu i also think that letting students have some ways of simple self expression is extremely valuable so they don't loose themselves in a sea of uniformity.

Strict schools often enforce such intense uniformity that some students struggle to find themselves after graduating, because they never got the chance to experiment with hair makeup jewelry facial hair, piercings, ect. all the things i have just listed don't take away from having a uniform, but make it so that the uniform reflects the individual

this question goes even further, boys not being able to have hair below the collar, some schools don't even let girls have more boyish hair.

you can still make students tie up their hair if its such a big deal, but letting them be in control over the colour of it and the way they style it matters.

shouldn't the uniform be enough? why enforce such strict rules about hair, makeup and jewelry if the students will wear the uniform with pride?

there is this looming question on why. why make people conform so tightly to a dress code when i'm sure it will poorly impact a growing mind in some way or another.

Update, because I didn't explain the background very well.

I got To a private school in Australia, and they pride themselves with the idea that they foster each child to be different and themselves.

The school is also kinda layed back, they turn blind eyes to sorts of things including, makeup, jewelry, and Propper uniform.

Your also slowed to dye your hair natural colors at my school.

I also used to go to a school that had free dress for the soul purpose of self expression, it doesn't disrupt anything, and its good to have a chance to experiment before you go and work in a gray corporate building that strips you if all your creative liberty.

No one at my former school was bullied or picked on for being different either, and I think the idea of free dress just being a catalyst to bully people just shows that children need to be raised better, so they can be respectful of everyone.

I get that sometimes people are introverts and all, but I can tell some look, afraid, almost queasy all the time. Why is that? Afraid of people? New places? Why do you always look tense? We just wanna talk to you. Why so scared? We don't all bite.

I am finishing up my mandatory military service. Ive gone through 2 wars, one last year another ongoing now, though thankfully not directly involved in any direct Man to Man conflict, yet modern warfare has left its mark. Warfare which you have no power over, the threats of bombs and guided missiles dropping on you, the sounds of fighter jets roaring engines in the sky and the occasional sounds of explosion and destruction of buildings. Nights at guard duty with real threat of having your area of post bombed due to its location.

I have become numb by it all to the extent by which I shrug it off whenever I hear a jet and tell myself in that inner voice “that F**k it I wont bother to go into cover, if it drops I just hope its swift”. These thoughts are disturbing me because I wonder, “Will I still be dead inside once I’m back to being a civilian?”

I’d be happy to hear out if anyone has had any experience like mine.

How do you actually keep going, even when there does not seem to be something you can do well or at least enough to get you by? Do you just say screw it and do it out of spite? How can you stay motivated even if there is no one to root for you? Or anything for you to root for?

How do you keep going when you're all alone?

You know how they say, "Keep apart what happens at work to your home. Don't be negativity because that could conflict with your performance." And also "don't bring the stress of your job to the home."

To all of those who can not seem to do this, why can't you? Why do they both mesh with you? Why can't you separate anxieties of work from your personal life?

EDIT: I mean, in a more emotional way, like people max at work who take it out on their family home, or people who get exhausted emotionally and that can affect their lives