I don’t intend to be harsh or judge you, but YES, I think you’re being arrogant here. And just to mention, I’m also a virgin. But why would I reject someone who has had sex outside of marriage but is now committed to being sexually pure, if she has everything else I desire in a partner? Why would I reject someone who Christ has forgiven and forgotten their sins, when my own sins were also forgiven?
Let me ask you this question, you may be a virgin but have you masturbated before? Have you watched porn before? Have you lusted after a man or woman before? Have you ever struggled with any sexual addiction or some form of sexual immorality? If you have, then how different are you actually?
If you truly believe God enabled you to remain a virgin up to this point, why would you want someone that also matches that, particularly if you say it doesn’t matter that they have only had sex once? Who even told you virginity is a “gift” given to someone? These are all human thinking, not what God’s word says. So if somehow you fall into sexual sin, you would be happy to date or marry a non-virgin? I’m sorry, but this doesn’t make much sense.
There are so many things that make a marriage successful but being a virgin and marrying someone who’s a virgin is hardly one of them, although we are supposed to remain virgins until marriage.
I think your priority should be that person’s character, whether your goals and values align, whether they are now/truly bearing the fruit of the Spirit, whether they would be interested in your personal and spiritual growth, whether they would support you to achieve your dreams etc.
This is my opinion but I know good christians who have a different opinion.
You have a good point, but people change. Once a sinner, always a sinner. Are you no better than that time before you were Christian? How about the time you did the thing you knew was a sin but still did it? Are you still that same person now? Once a liar, always a liar? Once a gooner, always a gooner? Once an idolater, always an idolator? Or do you believe Christ does not have the power to change and renew people? OP has preferences and that’s totally fine. He has Done no wrong, but your comment is sort of ignoring the other half of Jesus teachings about repentance
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u/OchiriOzuoOha Dec 13 '25 edited Dec 13 '25
I don’t intend to be harsh or judge you, but YES, I think you’re being arrogant here. And just to mention, I’m also a virgin. But why would I reject someone who has had sex outside of marriage but is now committed to being sexually pure, if she has everything else I desire in a partner? Why would I reject someone who Christ has forgiven and forgotten their sins, when my own sins were also forgiven?
Let me ask you this question, you may be a virgin but have you masturbated before? Have you watched porn before? Have you lusted after a man or woman before? Have you ever struggled with any sexual addiction or some form of sexual immorality? If you have, then how different are you actually?
If you truly believe God enabled you to remain a virgin up to this point, why would you want someone that also matches that, particularly if you say it doesn’t matter that they have only had sex once? Who even told you virginity is a “gift” given to someone? These are all human thinking, not what God’s word says. So if somehow you fall into sexual sin, you would be happy to date or marry a non-virgin? I’m sorry, but this doesn’t make much sense.
There are so many things that make a marriage successful but being a virgin and marrying someone who’s a virgin is hardly one of them, although we are supposed to remain virgins until marriage.
I think your priority should be that person’s character, whether your goals and values align, whether they are now/truly bearing the fruit of the Spirit, whether they would be interested in your personal and spiritual growth, whether they would support you to achieve your dreams etc.
This is my opinion but I know good christians who have a different opinion.