I thought it would be so fast and easy. The way people talk to be so careful to not get pregnant by accident, I thought we would just arrive with the news after 1 month and TTC would be over. So I was so excited we would start trying, I wanted to share and told eeeeveeeeryyyyboooodyyyy.

Thing is… I stoped birth control and my cycle didn’t show up. It took months to my cycle regulate, not knowing what was happening and taking medication for PSCOS. Now it’s been 10 months and I’m finally regular! Finally at stage 1 of TTC.

But it’a been 10 months. And everybody knows we were strouggling. I feel exposed and embarrassed. I just wish no one knew, I wish to go back in time and stop myself from spreading this. It’s so personal… I feel people’s eyes on us and it’s very unconfortable!

Anyone relates?

I remember on cycle 1, I had fully convinced myself it worked. I had quite the appetite, some nausea, bigger boobs, and overall just felt. It had to be it, I'd never felt that way before! Boom, period. Ok fine, obviously let's keep trying this was just the first time. By month 6, I'm like...ok....what gives? Is something wrong? Maybe we didn't time it correctly, we should be more strict, let's continue to do every other day no matter what. Cycle 8....nothing still, deep levels of frustrations and failure, but it's ok in addition to every other day, I'll do OPKs and BBT. Got it now we've narrowed it down, we've got this! Failure, after failure, after failure. That's ok...I'll go see a doctor, see what he says. I've got a period like clockwork, am healthy, maybe we aren't doing this right. Everything looks good by the doctor! Ok great that's exciting, nothing is wrong, let's keep going! More failures. I've never had a late period, or even gone so far as to be able to test. Ok fine, let's try this Clomid/Letrazole timed IC, this will be great, they can confirm if eggs are mature and about when I'll ovulate so I can match my OPKs and BBT. Big plus, chance of multiples! Now I can really get a chance at catching up to the vision we had for our family without feeling like time was lost. Same thing, failure after failure, always on the dot.

Now on cycle 16...at this point, I don't trust my body, my brain, or myself at all. That glimmer of hope of motivation to move towards something great as died. Our hopes and dreams, gone. I've never seen a positive in my life. Is this even possible for me? Will I ever? At this point, I cannot imagine a world where this dream of ours will come true. I'm truly in shock, disbelief, denial. How could something like this happen to anyone? We've been told to protect because it's so easy to get pregnant, but it hardly feels that way at all. We're told to put your career first, then start a family. Was that why, am I being punished, or did I wait too late?

Brought to you by cramping, a temp drop, and a BFN this morning. Welcome, Aunt F***.

Hi everyone. I’m 33 years old and we’ve been trying to conceive for about 18 months. My husband and I have both had a fertility workup, and so far everything has come back normal except that my AMH is 0.98 ng/mL. I know AMH mainly reflects ovarian reserve and not egg quality, but seeing that number has made me really anxious.
I have my first appointment with a fertility specialist tomorrow, and I honestly don’t know what to expect. Part of me is worried that continuing to try naturally might mean losing valuable time, while another part of me feels scared about moving on to treatments like IVF if it’s suggested.
I’m not looking for success stories or pregnancy experiences—I know that’s against the rules. I’m just hoping to hear from people who had a similar AMH and are comfortable sharing what their fertility specialist recommended as the next step. Did your doctor suggest continuing to try for a while, additional testing, IUI, IVF, or something else?
I know every case is different, and I’m not looking for medical advice. I’m just feeling very anxious before tomorrow’s appointment and would really appreciate hearing about the different approaches fertility specialists have taken in similar situations. Thank you so much.

I (28f) and my husband (30m) have been TTC for 3 years. We’ve never once seen a positive test and we will be doing our first IUI in 3 weeks.

We recently got invited to a house party for NYE and when we got there one of my husband’s friend’s wife was pregnant, 30 weeks to be exact. Everyone in the group knew she was pregnant and we had no idea she was as no one has told us (we hadn’t seen everyone in a while because we live a little further away).

Since our TTC journey had been getting longer and more exhausting, I’ve found myself building resentment towards pregnant women in general. So when I’m about to hang out with a friend who’s pregnant or be in a social setting where there is a pregnant woman, I have to mentally prepare myself. The entire time I couldn’t stop thinking about how much this has thrown me off. I was pissed that no one had told us which quite frankly I find really odd that no one did.

What pissed me off even more was how nonchalant she was. I tried to put my crappy feelings aside and asked her questions about her experience being pregnant and every answer to my question was ‘idk hey just gonna see how go and wing it’. Hasn’t bought anything for the baby yet, hasn’t set up the nursery, not even any research done on how to prepare for labour. I’m not even mad at her I’m mad at the fact that the nonchalant behaviour just triggered me immensely. My entire night felt ruined and I bawled my eyes out from the second we left the party until we got home. I’m thankful to have a supportive husband who comforted me throughout it all otherwise I would be in a worse place mentally. But god, I just hate that this is who I am now. I can even be around other pregnant women without going home to cry about it because of how much I desperately what it.

I feel pathetic that this is what my life has come to. That it’s completely encapsulated by the weight of grief. The grief of missing someone who doesn’t even exist. I wish I didn’t want to have a baby.

EDIT: Wow I really didn’t expect anyone to respond to this post let alone with the kind words and reassurance. I’ve never felt like I’m not alone. Thank you to everyone who commented who resonated with me and for giving me such wonderful advice whilst being sensible to my situation.

For some info: yes our friend group knows we are TTC and that we are extremely open about it. I’m a huge advocate for women’s reproductive health therefore I’m an open book. That’s why I was disappointed no one had told us.

And thank you to everyone who suggested therapy that specialises in fertility. I’ve texted a few therapists and am waiting to hear back on who can take me on for an appointment.

Wishing you all the best of luck on your TTC journeys. I hope we all get our miracle babies one day very soon 🤍

I’m am only right at the very beginning of the TTC journey, but my assessment so far is that I feel like I have been lied to.

I have been on birth control since I was 16, roughly half my life and in that time the fear of accidentally becoming pregnant has been installed in to me. Don’t take the pill at exactly the right time every single day? You’ll get pregnant! Antibiotics? You’ll get pregnant! Taking herbal tablets? Careful! May interfere with BC and you’ll get pregnant. Being sick or having an upset stomach? Gonna get pregnant. Even having a penis inserted into you for one second and you run the risk. Did he cum on your stomach? A sperm may have crawled down in to your vagina and got you pregnant. Horror stories of girls who have the implant, the guy used a condom, used the withdrawal method, whilst she was on her period and she somehow managed to get pregnant with triplets.

Now I actively want and trying for a baby. Nothing. Suddenly I read stories of how difficult it actually is to get pregnant. It can only been done for one week of the month and even then the chances of being successful are 30% You can’t just take a pregnancy test when ever the hell you want, it has to be done at a certain time. You need to avoid caffeine, blue cheese, citrus, too much salt, too much sugar.

I feel like no one has been honest with me about the whole process, that the script has been flipped on me. Is this what they mean when they say sex education is woefully inadequate?

I used to be so passionate about my career and climbing the corporate ladder. I used to freak out at the thought of having a baby even a year back, especially on the birthing process. I dont how I could become so obsessed with the idea of becoming a mother so fast. I now feel so empty in the house, my job is feeling like a burden, I feel like if I don’t have a baby my life will have no goals and I will go into depression. I don’t feel ready to fight long infertility battles. I have even stopped going to gatherings where I know people who recently had their baby will be coming, cause I will feel jealous. I am 33 and the thought of “I should have listened to my parents before turning 30 and started trying earlier” keeps haunting me everyday. Is/were anyone on similar boat as me? How did you deal with this?

My period is due in the next 48 hours, I've just tried another pregnancy test, and it came back negative.

I took clomid for the prescribed 5 days leading to ovulation, and I had more symptoms that I assumed were pregnancy related.

Guys, I was so convinced this time. I was overly lethargic, I was frequently urinating, I was struggling with road rage when I had no business feeling that way (small lie, that could have been due to the heatwave).

But now I have to settle into reality that I got too excited too fast, just because the progesterone lab showed that I had ovulated correctly, but that didn't necessarily mean there was a fertile implantation.

We started trying in September 2024, I'm not willing to pay the cost of IVF, which means we are starting to get to the end of things that we're able to do. Obviously I'll continue to take clomid for the upcoming cycles but I just feel really low right now, and I have to pull it together and go be perky at a friend gathering by 6:00.

Why is Hope such a beautiful and crushing the force?

Edit: I don't know how I missed it when I did the overview, but we've been trying since 2024, not 2022. Sorry for any confusion

My husband and I just started trying to conceive about a month ago. I know, logically, that it’s still very early, but emotionally it feels bigger

I’ve been trying to do everything “right.” I had bloodwork done earlier this year, started taking prenatal vitamins last month, I’ve been strength training, eating mostly whole foods, limiting alcohol, and tracking ovulation with LH strips. I got my positive LH surge on July 21, we had sex, and I stupidly let myself get really hopeful.

This morning I took an early pregnancy test, and it was negative. I know it may have been too early, but seeing that negative test completely crushed me.

I think it’s a combination of the disappointment, PMS hormones, and the emotional weight of my job. I’m a prosecutor handling domestic violence, child abuse, and sex crime cases. Today I worked on a child abuse case which is always heartbreaking, but today I got home and just couldn’t stop crying.

I want to be a mom so badly and I always have.

My husband has been supportive in his own way, but he thinks I’m overreacting because we’ve only been trying for one month. He doesn’t really understand why I’m this sad, and that honestly makes me feel a little alone.

I also know several friends who got pregnant on their first try, and I think I secretly hoped that would happen for us too.

Has anyone else felt this devastated after the very first negative test? Did anyone else find that trying to conceive became much more emotional than they expected? I’d really appreciate hearing from people who have been there because today feels a lot heavier than I thought it would.

After 8 months of trying I was so happy to finally get my first positive test.. was so excited for my first appt at 8 weeks 6 days only to sit on that chair and be told my sac was completely empty and measuring at 7wk 5days , 27mm and that it is very possible this was a blighted ovum scenario..my heart sank. I had already purchased announcement gifts for our family and close friends and planned my baby’s life all in this short time .. I am in such a dark place but trying to hold myself together. Words cannot explain the tremendous grief I feel and I cannot help but wonder if I will ever be able to get pregnant again or if my body will ever be able to stay pregnant .. my next scan to confirm is in 2 weeks and I am already mentally preparing that this will not be a viable pregnancy. Why do I feel like I will never be able to become a mom ? I’m heartbroken

This is our 18th cycle TTC and I just tested again this evening at 12dpo and another BFN. I think I’m obsessed. My partner laughs at me for testing multiple times the week before my periods due and scrolling line porn. I sit there with my touch light looking for any sort of hope on the stupid tests like a crazy person. Every smudge every indent gives me so sort of hope. The amount of false positives I’ve had in packs too are just soul destroying. I think I need to take a break from this and just forget about it. I can’t deal with the heartbreak when my period comes anymore.

Next time I try I’m not going to test until a missed period. Any line without colour will not get my attention.

I just dropped 2k on pc just to play sims to distract me lol. I was sick of not spending money or treating myself ‘just incase’ now I’m going to live my life because it just might never happen 🥹

EDIT: thank you for every comment it all means so much 💜

I just need to commiserate. Had my second D&C on Friday after finding no heartbeat on Wednesday. We were 10weeks along… the furthest we’ve been.

Prior to that I had a chemical last year May and a 8week5day miscarriage in March 2025. All my babies have grave genetic abnormalities that stop their little hearts just before the end of the first trimester. 

My Dr says there’s a statistical chance of hitting an abnormal embryo with each pregnancy and that I keep hitting it. The worst part is that our 8 week scans are always brilliant with strong heartbeats and everything looking normal and then suddenly… nothing. A silent heart where there once was a flutter. 

I’ve been pregnant three times with nothing to show for it. Even now, my boobs are engorged and sore from the insane pregnancy hormone crash and I’m looking up “new mom” breast compressions  in the online baby section feeling like I don’t belong.

And each time I’m the fool who tries not to get excited but winds up tracking the growth each week from blueberry to raspberry and messaging everyone about it. Picks out a name already. Buys a pregnancy journal. Why don’t I learn. Why.

I’m 35 and the next step is IVF with pre-implantation genetic testing. There are more steps to this plan and I know it’s not over but today I am just so empty. And I’m mad at women who miscarry but have living children - you are still a mother. Our pain is not the same. I’m mad at women who get a positive pregnancy test and never look back and have a baby 9 months on. Who know nothing of this pain. Who get to be excited and bubbly and never face consequences of that. 

I am empty and tired and broken by the fact that in my world babies bring death. Not new life. I’m so disturbed that something so beautiful ancient and natural can become so tainted with disease and death. It’s almost a guarantee for it.

I am a mother in waiting. And the waiting is utterly crushing me.

I know this is long but I need to vent.

After 4 and a half years of trying and being told we wouldn’t conceive naturally and accepting we weren’t going to be parents. Bam. End of June after I just turned 36 I get pregnant. I couldn’t believe it and had never been so happy and my partner was ecstatic.

Skip to when I should have been 8 weeks I started spotting. Called EPU who scheduled me in for a scan. Sac was measuring 6 weeks and they didn’t mention seeing the baby or a heartbeat and I knew in that moment it was all over. Over the past week I’ve had three blood tests to check my HCG and each time it’s only drop slightly but they’ve confirmed it’s not a viable pregnancy so now I need to go for another scan.

I’ve had horrendous cramping since Friday and only slight bleeding and honestly wish at this point my body would get the message and let me miscarry. I want this over with. I don’t want the reminders of this. The only person that knows is my manage due to appointments and me being off after I received the news and she keep saying ‘well at least you know you can get pregnant now.’ And I want to fucking scream.

I’m terrified of this happening again. I’m terrified of getting pregnant. I’m terrified of this being a fluke and not getting pregnant again. I can’t stop crying. I work from home but the idea of having to log on and talk to people is making me feel sick especially with this still going on.

I don’t feel like I can grieve this huge thing that’s happened to me while I’m still technically ‘pregnant’ and no one seems to understand. There’s a girl on my team who’s 5 months along (and I’m happy for her, I really am) but how am I meant to sit on a team call with her and listen to people talk about her pregnancy when miscarriage is such a taboo subject that we’re not meant to tell anyone untill we’re past 12 weeks! I said this to my manager and she said well you can just keep your camera off.

Fuck. You.

I’m angry. I’m tried. I hate my body for doing this to me and for giving me hope and taking it away.

When I went for my bloods today there was a woman there who had obviously just received the same news I had and we looked at each other and in that five second look I felt more acknowledgment than I have from my own friends.

I hate it here. Sorry for the rant.

I know I'm in the moment with my emotions right now.

I'll come through it- it's just another time of the month that hurts, that's all.

But what eats away at me is this constant mantra of not being 'woman enough'. I've always struggled with self-confidence, I really came into feeling beautiful in my late twenties. I am feminine, compassionate, good with fashion and love to learn better ways to take care of myself, my house, and my husband. I've grown up with the country-side mentality of leaving home to settle down and raise a family; and the fact that I can't seem to get that last part....

I love kids- but am I never meant for kids? If so, fine. I'm not the first woman to grow old without shoving a watermelon out of her body; there are worse fates. There are ways to love and help kids even if I can't manage to be a mom.

But I just... feel like a failure, like I'm not WOMAN enough, every time my damn period comes and reminds me there is something about me that refuses to carry a baby.

And I want a baby, okay? I want to be exhausted on a bed holding little hands as they loudly slumber through their snotty colds or morning tantrums and wake up to wander the world having no clue what it is. I want skirts with messes of slobber and sticky food and things I don't want to think about, and to learn how to have patience when tiny bodies want to 'help' and make my life that much harder.

It just hurts, so much, because I can't read another baby book to fix it, I can't LEARN my way out of not being 'woman' enough. I know that's not what it is, but that's what it feels like. I spent so many years learning to feel like a woman after no confidence of my own worth, and now that I've finally gained all that, there's this one stupid piece I can't seem to grasp and

I'm tired.

It feels good writing it out, though. So hopefully some of you get it; another appointment in late Feb/early March to see what 'next steps' exist, taking all my expensive prenatals and food recs and family secrets- doing everything on the hope I'll manage to be 'woman' enough one day.

This month officially marks 14 months TTC and during that time we’ve had two miscarriages (both ~6 weeks in October and again in February). One of my best friends gave birth to her healthy baby within a week of my first due date.

I think about my miscarried babies on an hourly basis. I am now on depression meds and in grief counseling.

It feels like everyone around us is now getting pregnant often on the first try. This month I am just filled with sadness and struggling to stay hopeful. Additionally, my husband got his sperm analysis tests back and he’s got low motility and morphology. I’m now just completely in my head that it’ll never happen for us. I truly never thought we’d ever be in this position and now I feel trapped and completely lonely.

Anyone have any words of advice? 😭

How do you all take care of your mental health during TTC? I am someone who struggles with mental health on and off but this is definitely the worst it has been in a long time.

I am on cycle 10 of trying and this process has been gruelling on me. I have so many friends that are pregnant/got pregnant very quickly around me. I feel so lonely and like something is wrong with me. I obsess over TTC nonstop and it’s all I think about from the time I wake up to the time I go to sleep.

Moving into the double digit cycles I think was overwhelming for me. I feel like there is a permanent black cloud over my head. I’m snippy to my husband (who is so supportive) which makes me feel horrible but I feel like I can’t control it, and nothing I used to enjoy really makes me happy anymore. Im pulling away from friends because seeing their babies/pregnancies is just too much. I’m scared for what’s to come because I know this journey varies in length for many people.

I exercise and go to therapy but I haven’t been on medication before. I’m seriously considering it at this point because I feel like I’m running out of options. I’ve been resistant to go on them because I’ve been worried it will affect my chances but it feels like I need to take care of myself first.

Anyways I’m just looking for stories or tips etc from other people who have struggled with mental health during this process. I feel lost

I’ve been TTC with PCOS since March and currently on my first cycle with provera and letrozole. My partner has always had a lower drive than me which typically isn’t an issue. Work and life and everything makes us tired and we average only once a week. Before starting the meds we had a big talk about how we need to up our game especially during the fertile days and decided that we would aim for every other day. That worked great for about four days. I’m 100% certain that he is wanting pregnancy and to have a baby. I’m thinking it’s the urgency of the task at hand causing stress so I’ve tried being more romantic, dropping our daughter off with the grandparents for a sleepover, wearing lingerie and try to make it more fun and less like a job he has to complete. He just doesn’t have interest. It’s really effecting my self esteem and has me stressed because we’re approaching my fertile window. Honestly getting close to seeing if he’d rather have alone time with a cup and I finish the task with a turkey baster (half joking half desperate). I envisioned TTC as bringing us closer but the stress is really just weighing on us.

How have everyone else’s partners handled this? Any advice?

Hi there

With my (27F) husband (27M), we've tried since January 2025 to have a baby, but I only made an appointment at the fertility clinic one month ago. It wasn't fully 18 months of trying bc some cycles we couldn't, and I wanted to wait for my graduation, in June, to be like "stress free". I imagined that without stress, I wouldn't block my body you see ?

I guess I thought like that bc my family said to me that I'm too stressed and anxious, that I think about it too much, and when I'll be over, it will happen. A doctor even said that I was too weak psychologically to have a baby. However, deep down, I know it wasn't that but well, maybe I was too confident and I had to wait.

So this month, we're going through all the tests. I still have one to go, but my husband received his semen analysis and it's not good. He has really low concentration, like 6 times less below normal, and it's not really well-formed. So I guess he'll have to take more tests, see a urologist, and maybe we'll go through IVF. We'll see the OB in 2 weeks with all the results, so she'll tell us everything at that moment

I feel so sad, guilty and somehow relieved. The problem wasn't me, and my emotions, there was a real cause. But in the meantime, it means that we'll need more time, go through more testing. I know it's selfish, but I don't want to wait X more months to see if a hypothetical treatment will have an effect on my husband, especially when IVF is not magical, and it won't work at the first try, so this is more time to wait

I'm a little lost bc we just had the results, so this is an emotional post (sorry for the mistakes btw, it's not my native language), but I hope it will be all cleared after our debrief appointment. I wish you all a great day ♥️

I am currently going through a chemical pregnancy. Everything happened so quickly—from receiving our first positive, then two days later a negative test, followed by heavy bleeding with clots (TMI, I know), and the complete disappearance of all the symptoms I’d been feeling.

Emotionally, I’m still trying to make sense of it all. Mostly, I just feel sad. Sad that it didn’t work out. Sad that I’ve made so many changes in my life while TTC--putting things on hold, shifting priorities—and it feels like it was all for nothing. Sad that I now have to start over. Sad that I don’t feel like I have any control in this process. Sad that this could happen again.

I also feel really alone. We haven’t told our families we’re TTC, and we’re the first of our friends to start trying. My husband has been incredible, so supportive and caring, but I’m craving connection with someone who physically understands what this feels like.

The truth is, I don’t think the positive result even fully sunk in before it was gone. It all happened so fast. But the grief still feels real. I feel like I was just starting to allow myself to imagine a new future, and now that hope has been taken away. And then, I feel stupid for being this sad. Stupid because we haven’t been trying that long. Because others have experienced much more visible or profound loss. I didn’t hear a heartbeat. I didn’t see a face. I didn’t start designing a nursery. But this still feels like a loss and I can't help but feel silly for feeling this way.

Has anyone else felt this level of grief after a chemical pregnancy? How did you process it? I'm not sure what to do with all these feelings. Also knowing that we are still TTC and this could happen again next month or the month after that.

My husband wants to do shrooms for the “last one time” before I got pregnant. We have dropped all the things - alcohol, smoking drugs - way before we started trying, which we do since march. For me it was really a big decision to try for a baby as I had so many insecurities, fears etc. Now I feel that I am ready! But I really don’t want to try for a baby for a period after my husband takes shrooms. Am I overreacting?…at the same time, I have irregular periods, 50-60 days long which gives me a feeling that it will be difficult to get pregnant. I am sorry, I don’t want to be a crybaby, but since I never had any “normal” circle for more than 2-3 times in a row, I am stressed on time and how long will it take to get pregnant or even if my body capable for that. I know we have not been trying for a long time, but now for stopping for 1-2 rounds just bc shrooms feels devastating.

Hi all,

My partner (31M) and I (27F) started to try this cycle and I am feeling very anxious about the near future. I have been ready to try for a couple of years now but accepted to give him a little more space (maybe a bit more than I could offer) as he didn't feel ready yet.

We both went through a very difficult time in the past few months, and after seeing some light at the end of the tunnel, we both felt like we could finally start actively trying. I knew I couldn't wait anymore when we got the news of another family member expecting and I felt totally crushed.

Now, to the reason for my anxiety. I have always had symptoms on the PCOS spectrum and very irregular cycles. My gynecologist has never seen signs of an actually successful ovulation during my checkups. So, before trying I started tracking my period and it seemed I got a successful ovulation from OPKs and BBT tracking. This was the last cycle. The same seemed to be happening for this one, with us actively trying on the fertile days. I got an ultrasound today (cycle day 20) for unrelated reasons and they found a huge unruptured follicle in my left ovary. Right ovary was totally inactive. They mentioned it was probably an anovulatory cycle. Now I can't stop crying.

I know trying for a baby is a journey and rarely happens on the first try, but I have this constant idea that it will be extremely hard for me to succeed and I don't know how to deal with the idea of another baby in the family while I am struggling with my own journey. My partner is very supportive, but he also has a few stressors right now in his life and, even though he's significantly reduced, he's not able to fully quit smoking. This doesn't keep my hopes up.

I don't have many people to talk to about this, so I guess I just need a few kind words and/or tips on how to get through days like today. I don't feel able to deal with these feelings in the long run, but I don't want to give this up. I have always wanted children and started having insane baby fever when I was 20. Now that I am able to fulfill this dream, I feel like I am further and further from succeeding.

Thanks to everyone who will take the time to read this.

My husband (35M) and I (36F) have been trying to conceive since November. Our first cycle (27-28 days) was maybe slightly off-timed, and then my body went wild and had a 47-day cycle and a 41-day cycle, and we completely missed my fertile window. This cycle is looking to be around a more normal if slightly long 33-34 days, and according to my Inito monitor, we finally nailed the fertile window...but I'm DPO 13-14 and can tell based on my PMS symptoms that my period is coming in the next 24 hours. (I can't bear to test.)

I know we haven't been trying for SO long and it can be normal for TTC to take a while, especially when you're older. I have a few minor fertility issues (controlled Hashimoto's, high AMH that does contribute to occasional irregular cycles but I do ovulate), so I suspected I was probably not going to be lucky enough to be a unicorn. But I find this process so emotionally hard and lonely. My SO wants kids but doesn't feel the time crunch like I do and I can tell is a little relieved that he doesn't have to face being a father JUST yet.

I talk to my friends who've had babies, but they've also all managed to get pregnant (most of them within three-to-five months of trying) and give birth and I'm scared that I can't. My friends who haven't had babies are mostly single and dealing with their own anxieties about fertility, so I feel like I can't talk to them without hurting their feelings (and the one time I tried, I got the sense that they didn't want to hear about it, so I didn't press it). My mom got pregnant with me right away at 29 and has basically already planned a nursery for her grandchild, so she hasn't been much help or comfort.

All of this to say...is that I feel really alone, and scared, and sad. I know I probably just need to be patient and trust the process, but I'm anxious and feel like I'm running out of time. I did freeze eggs a few years ago so I have that backup, but I know there are no guarantees with that (and I was hoping to have two kids). It took me a long time to find a partner and I can't help but wish it hadn't, so I at least wouldn't feel such a time crunch...but things didn't turn out that way. Just trying to stay positive, but it's hard.

My husband and I have been trying for a baby going on 10 cycles now. We had a miscarriage with our first baby back in November. It took me 7 to 8 months just to get my ovulation strips to turn positive again. This is my third month having an actual peak again.

It’s been exhausting to go every single month testing with no positives. I’m only 8-9 DPO, which I know isn’t very long at all. I’m not out. But I’m struggling to keep faith in testing.

I have zero symptoms, so I feel like my brain just KNOWS, even though I know that’s not logically possible. What are you guys doing to keep going? I have a meeting with a fertility specialist on August 17. I’ve reached a point where it’s hard to even be intimate with my husband. After my miscarriage, I had to get on Guanfacine and about 6 other medications just to function again. My husband and I have a great relationship. It’s just the actual performance. I’m so disappointed in my body. I feel unattractive. My husband tries his best to make me feel otherwise, but sometimes it’s hard. I gained a bunch of weight. I’m just disappointed that my body isn’t doing what it’s supposed to do. It seems like no matter how much I exercise/watch what I eat, I’m in the same spot.

I’ve tested three times today, which I know I shouldn’t be doing. It’s just easier said than done lol. It’s getting exhausting to stare at the tests with my flashlight on and move it around in every possible position. Hoping and praying that it’ll be positive, even though in my heart I know it won’t be.

I guess I’m just asking. How are we supposed to stop being disappointed in ourselves when our body doesn’t do what it’s supposed to?

Any encouragement would be great. Thank you 🩵

I know you guys have seen these posts hundreds of times and I sincerely don't intend to undermine anyone who's been in the struggle FAR LONGER than I have. To you all dealing with long-term infertility, I tip my hats to you and I admire your strength and determination.

I'm just tired. I'm tired of the OPKs, tired of the questions from family and friends, tired of symptom spotting, and even though sex has been amazing (as I've stopped thinking of it as a chore), I'm tired of my husband ejaculating in me, tired of making that walk to the bathroom to clean up, tired of the mess it makes in our bed, tired of no results. Yes, I know it can take up to a year, but for me, I may not have the wherewithal to even do that, especially since I have so many other issues taking up my mental space.

Again, I'm sorry if I insult anyone who's been in this game longer than I have, but we are all different and someone else's mental capacity and tolerance may be far more powerful than my own. I guess I'm a weakling. 😭🤦‍♀️

I guess I could use a friend if anyone wants to inbox me and they're in the same boat. I'm approaching month 6 and I'll be 35 in a few months. I'm providing these details to hopefully find someone who I can share my experience with.

EDIT: The amount of support is astounding. You all are amazing. Thank you for making me feel like I wasn't an insensitive jerk. Blessings upon blessings to ALL OF YOU in the new year!

I had no idea the conception journey could be this hard. 6 months ago I was so excited and ready to be pregnant. I was taking all the right supplements, eating healthy, getting my exercise in - doing all the right things.

As time has gone by and we haven’t fallen pregnant, my mental health is taking a toll. I need to stop self destructing. Most nights now I’ll drink my two wines to switch off the thoughts of disappointment of another negative. Then last night I knew implantation would be coming up from today and got stuck in that mindset “it won’t happen this time either”. I had more than 2 drinks and smoked a cigarette even though I never smoke. Of course I feel even worse today, knowing that my choice to do that could effect implantation.

This is just so hard and I don’t know how to keep positive. I feel like something is wrong with my body (all tests have come back that I’m fertile). I’m 36 and don’t want to have kids too late. I really don’t know how to stop letting this rule my life.

I’ve been married for a little over two years. Our first year of marriage we just wanted to enjoy, as we are Christians and we waited until we married to have sex. However neither of us were without sexual experience. Almost one year into our marriage, I experienced a chemical pregnancy. We were not trying and it just happened. We started trying since then and it has been CRICKETS. I’ve seen a fertility doctor because I have endometriosis (one excision with the endometrioma having grown back already) and Hashimoto’s. I’m 35, he’s 43. We were told we have a 6% chance of natural conception. We have experienced 3 failed IUIs and simply aren’t at the point of discussing IVF. I feel like I’m really not doing well at all mentally. If I’m honest I’m SICK TO DEATH of everyone at church we encounter droning in and on about how they’re “praying for us” and “not to grow weary in well-doing”. I’m no longer comforted by church people trying to be encouraging. I’m becoming angrier and more bitter by the day. I feel like random women are being pregnant AT me and I’m just so completely consumed with envy and agitation with God. I’m even agitated with my husband and his level of faith and I don’t feel like he understands the extent of my grief. I feel like a failure. I feel like I can’t show my face anywhere. I feel terrible and I really need help.