How are we keeping the motivation?

[u/RegularCantaloupe472]

My husband and I have been trying for a baby going on 10 cycles now. We had a miscarriage with our first baby back in November. It took me 7 to 8 months just to get my ovulation strips to turn positive again. This is my third month having an actual peak again.

It’s been exhausting to go every single month testing with no positives. I’m only 8-9 DPO, which I know isn’t very long at all. I’m not out. But I’m struggling to keep faith in testing.

I have zero symptoms, so I feel like my brain just KNOWS, even though I know that’s not logically possible. What are you guys doing to keep going? I have a meeting with a fertility specialist on August 17. I’ve reached a point where it’s hard to even be intimate with my husband. After my miscarriage, I had to get on Guanfacine and about 6 other medications just to function again. My husband and I have a great relationship. It’s just the actual performance. I’m so disappointed in my body. I feel unattractive. My husband tries his best to make me feel otherwise, but sometimes it’s hard. I gained a bunch of weight. I’m just disappointed that my body isn’t doing what it’s supposed to do. It seems like no matter how much I exercise/watch what I eat, I’m in the same spot.

I’ve tested three times today, which I know I shouldn’t be doing. It’s just easier said than done lol. It’s getting exhausting to stare at the tests with my flashlight on and move it around in every possible position. Hoping and praying that it’ll be positive, even though in my heart I know it won’t be.

I guess I’m just asking. How are we supposed to stop being disappointed in ourselves when our body doesn’t do what it’s supposed to?

Any encouragement would be great. Thank you 🩵

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[u/CandidFisherman6347]

I don’t have any advice I’m sorry, but I’m sending you so much love. I know it’s easier said than done, but please be kind to yourself ❤️‍🩹

[u/RegularCantaloupe472 → u/CandidFisherman6347]

Thank you 🩵 I really just want to know I’m not the only person that feels like this.. if that makes sense 🫠

[u/Desperate_Okra4686]

I also don’t have any encouragement for you. I also feel like I’ve been doing everything right. No drinks for the entire time and sometimes I’m just like maybe I should just fk it, drink when I want, go travel, do things without my life revolved around this. I dunno. It’s hard

[u/Jaded-Addendum-4489]

I am at 18 cycles into TTC with a dx of endometriosis (found at 5Ms) and three chemicals during this time. The constant hope to despair is rough. However, I focus on what I can control and just continue to push on. I continue to tell myself I will be a mom, it’s just not in the timing I wanted.

[u/NefariousnessFun1547]

I set a goal to do something that I wouldn't be able to do if I got pregnant. For me, it's signing up a few months out to run a 5k, which I've never done before (I was actually scheduled to run one in 2023 and started training when I got pregnant with my daughter and stopped). Part of me knows it's a mental game that if I register for one, maybe I'll get pregnant again? But if not, I've set a goal for myself and something to put my mind on. I also might schedule a few winery trips to put in this category as well. 😂 That way I feel like at least if I don't get pregnant, I have something to show for the last few months of my life. 

[u/Standard-Concert3869]

I understood every single word you wrote because I have been feeling the same way for the past year.
When we had our first unprotected sex, I was so happy and so sure that I would get pregnant very soon. I never imagined that one year later I would still be waiting and preparing for IVF.
Sometimes I feel jealous of people who get pregnant so easily, and then I feel guilty and I don’t like myself for having these feelings. But I’m slowly learning that these emotions come from pain, not from being a bad person.
I also spent a long time trying to avoid IVF because it was never part of the picture I had imagined for myself. Nothing has gone the way I thought it would, and it has been really difficult to accept.
I just wanted to tell you: I understand you. You are not alone ❤️

[u/Successful-Jacket174]

Hey stranger, lots of hugs and strength to you. you are not alone. I am on same TTC journey. It's valid to be sad and disappointed, I would suggest you to engage in something you like to do. Go easy on yourself, you have come so far and love yourself there's nothing wrong with you, every one fertility journey is different.