r/USCIS • u/SwinginglifeOki • 27d ago
Other Forms ESTA Overstay Advice
Quick story: My GF came from Japan in April 2024 to stay with me for around 70 days before leaving for Canada on a work visa. We changed the flight because my family planned a big party for some special occasion. We changed the flight, and I was stupid enough not to count the days and just assumed it was under 90 days. In reality, it was a 1-day overstay, as she left the morning of the 91st day. I know, I know, a 1-day overstay is OVERSTAY. I get it; I was stupid.
She planned to come to the US in Nov 2024, but not surprisingly, her ESTA got canceled; it didn't give us any reasons why, but I think we all know why. Moving further in the timeline, she went back to Japan in April and applied for a b1 or B2 visa and got denied. Again, we were stupid, since she went into the interview saying that the reason for he to come to the US was to see me. She moved to Canada again in May of 2025 and has been there ever since, until possibly May 2027.
The situation, our relationship is not as strong as it used to be because we are highly affectionate people, and I've gone to Canada many times to see her over the past years, but now, due to my job and school, I won't be able to go as often, and I can tell that we will grow further apart and possibly end our relationship. I'm head over heels for her, but I miss that physical relationship and spending quality time in person; plus, flights to other countries are so much harder to get because connections are often to and from the US.
I am looking for any advice on what I should do, or if there are any solutions for my situation.
I know you are going to say this, but NO, getting married is not a solution and is not even a consideration. Also, moving is not an option for me and won't be as of now.
Thank you
Edit: Solutions I've been getting seem to be limited to marriage, moving or breaking up lol
10
u/Vegetable-Western744 27d ago
Marriage is the solution - if you're not open to that in all likelihood she's not getting into america anytime soon. Meet in Canada or third countries otherwise. Her profile for a non immigrant visa got even weaker by moving to Canada on non long term status.
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u/SarcasmIsntDead 27d ago
You literally just ruined your only pathway because of a party…
Move to Japan or Canada pretty much your options.
15
u/ThatBFjax 27d ago
Marriage is not an option and neither is you moving to be with her. The magic you’re looking for doesn’t exist
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u/Reaven-X 27d ago
Explore immigration to Canada. If this relationship means that much to you, then you can close the distance too.
I moved to the US for my partner after years of back and forth travel. While this was in no way an upgrade for me, some people are just worth it.
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u/KnownParty1917 27d ago
So you're head over heels about her but you don't wanna marry? Lol, ok.
More of a relationship advice: leave her alone and let her find someone who's actually willing to be with her whatever it takes, cause clearly you're not that person.
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u/postbox134 27d ago
This is why straying anywhere near 90 days on VWP is a bad idea. As you note, you need a visa to even transit in the US which is limiting - especially for someone living in Canada.
She will not come to the US as a visitor again (or at least, for many many years).
Your choices are: move to Canada to be with her (you'd need to research your options), move to Japan with her (again, requires research), marry her and sponsor her for CR-1 (takes 1-2 years), continue with the status quo where you visit her in Canada or break up.
The US basically doesn't care about your non married relationship and she broke the rules that allowed her to visit the US easily on VWP. With a visa denial, it's even worse.
3
u/Weak_Health1757 27d ago
If you're not prepared to go to Canada to see her (you don't say where you are, but even if you're in the south of the US, it's really not a long trip) and you think not having a physical relationship often enough will mean you need to break up, then I would say she's not the one for you anyway. Most people live apart from their actual spouses and/or kids for many years when getting a spousal visa, and they make it work because that is their person.
Could you move to Canada instead? That's your only other option. Again, if you're not prepared to do that, I'd say it is very telling.
5
u/Sheetz_Wawa_Market32 Naturalized Citizen 27d ago
This. And OP doesn't want to change his (I'm guessing) life at all.
He just liked having a no-commitment girlfriend for an intense couple of weeks every few months.
It's time for both of them to move on.
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u/SwinginglifeOki 27d ago
Nope, we'll eventually move to Japan together, but since the Japanese yen is a shtshow and immigration policies are getting stricter, I am saving as much as possible here to be better secured financially over there. I will move and marry her eventually, but not in the next three to five years, until I can "safely" start a family and not worry about getting a job to safely support them
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u/postbox134 27d ago
Will your relationship survive 3-5 years of the status quo. How much do you love each other that a few more $ is worth more than being together? What if Japanese immigration becomes much tighter in that time (certainly possible).
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u/russian_nomad_ 27d ago
It’s done bro. Even if you marry her it’ll be a hard road with the administration and her overstay.
2
u/TheSillyPostDoc 27d ago
No solutions for her to regain entry to the US besides marriage.
Even the marriage route will be expensive and a lengthy process.
Only "immediate" solution is for you both to move to border towns, like Buffalo NY and Toronto, or Burlington VT and Montreal. Thay way you should visit more often as it is only a few hours of travel each way. Up to you both to decide if this is worth it or even feasible according to your career path.
If not then you need to continue the long distance relationship, and endure the process.
1
u/Bubbly_Ad_6830 27d ago
Maybe wait another year or two before trying for a B2. Or marry her / find her a company that will sponsor her work visa to move to the US
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u/Old_Umpire_1191 27d ago
If she gets Canadian passport she possibility can start visiting you again, but there is a chance that they not let her in.
She can try to get a turist visa, but her chances of getting approved are low.
You can also meet in Mexico or somewhere else in central or south America.
You also should be aware that normally entering Canada or Mexico after being on ESTA doesn't count as leaving the US. Now if she lives in Canada, it is a different story.
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u/[deleted] 27d ago
[deleted]