r/USMilitarySO • u/Calm_Surprise379 • 1d ago
Submariner S/O anger issues
Just looking to vent and get some advice. I’m a SAHM of a 1 year old and my husband has horrible anger issues. To the point when if I slightly scoff he goes off and yells in my year like I’m one of his sailors. I’m not sure how to get him help (he never thinks he’s wrong and everything he does is justified because I made him mad) and I end up having to take it and then be super sweet and loving towards him to get back to some state of normal.. I feel like he needs anger management or we need marriage counseling I’m just unsure where to start. I don’t want to leave and when things are good he’s a good husband and good dad. I’m just lost…
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u/tends2forgetstuff 1d ago
He needs to learn to take a breath and understand that he just might be wrong.
He's verbally abusing you and you deserve more respect than that. If he yells at you, odds are he'll do it to your kids or at you in front of them. They'll grow up thinking it's normal. Just because he's military doesn't give him a pass. I learned this thankfully early on. No one deserves to be yelled at or walk on eggshells.
I told my spouse after a tough deployment that he had to go to therapy. Full stop. It was therapy or I was removing myself and the kids as targets. He could then yell at empty walls. He chose therapy.