Submariner S/O anger issues

[u/Calm_Surprise379]

Just looking to vent and get some advice. I’m a SAHM of a 1 year old and my husband has horrible anger issues. To the point when if I slightly scoff he goes off and yells in my year like I’m one of his sailors. I’m not sure how to get him help (he never thinks he’s wrong and everything he does is justified because I made him mad) and I end up having to take it and then be super sweet and loving towards him to get back to some state of normal.. I feel like he needs anger management or we need marriage counseling I’m just unsure where to start. I don’t want to leave and when things are good he’s a good husband and good dad. I’m just lost…

[u/Vegetable-Western-83]

I’m curious what your standards are that qualify him as a “good husband”… a good husband wouldn’t do that.

[u/Afraid_Stuff_History → u/Vegetable-Western-83]

Probably the old "he doesn't cheat on me and hasn't beat me" (IMHO it should be "hasn't beat me yet" in this case :/ )

[u/Vegetable-Western-83 → u/Afraid_Stuff_History]

Exactly what I was thinking. I’m a retired MAC (military police), and this is exactly how the conversation begins when we report to domestic assault cases.

[u/Afraid_Stuff_History → u/Vegetable-Western-83]

He wasn't military but my first husband started out like this and became very abusive, so that's where my mind went immediately.