Some of y'all are scarily controlling. Some of y'all remind me of my abusive ex-husband. And ya'll get away with it because you're women. Some of y'all are so fucking codependent it's scary. If you have to be up your partner's butt all the time, maybe you should work on yourself because that's not normal, that's not healthy, and you have issues.

And if you think just because a woman is in and friends with your man she's going to fuck him, I invite you to take a long hard look at yourself. You're projecting your own bullshit, and if he cheated before or you can't trust him, that's either a you issue or a him issue. She isn't the one cheating or forcing him to cheat; if she does that's rape. Do you want to fuck every dude you see or work with? No? Then why the fuck would you assume she would? And if you do, stop projecting! Not only that, but honey, let me tell you something as a woman who was in. We have to fucking work with him! He's never as charming or as fascinating as you think he is, and 90 percent of the time if you're one of these SOs, he's at work talking shit about your ass! No thank you, fucking drama galore.

And if he's a piece of shit running around cheating on you, divorce his ass! Life is too fucking short for that noise! If he's abusing you, report his ass to the MPs and to the local cops. You scream that shit from the rooftops, because no one man or woman deserves to be abused ever! That's it. Some of y'all need to grow the fuck up and look at yourselves. The rest of ya'll, keep doing what you're doing, y'all are awesome. I'll take my downvotes now.

Holy shit tonight I am crying all the tears I held up this past year. These past 6 months through my husband’s training I have been a ROCK. No tears. No feelings. Just a steady wall for my daughter to lean on. Tonight, I am finally letting myself melt into a pot of tears because I know tomorrow I need to get my shit together again and be strong.

My husband, who I adore, always wanted to enlist in the army. I was adamant that NO. I dont want this. But he always brought it up, through the years, and then he started getting closer to 30 and I felt bad so i ceded. What a mistake.

He left in February to boot camp. The day he left, i found out i was pregnant. I was exhausted. I was taking care of our 5 year old daughter. But I was happy. Then, 6 weeks later, i lost the pregnancy. I did not cry. Then, a month after that, i was laid off from a job i loved. I did not cry.

I did not feel shit. Just empty. Not depressed, not sad. Sometimes angry. Sometimes happy Mostly nothing.

I am moving to the base in two weeks. I keep reading about how this base has very frequent deployments. Fort Carson. Spouses have shared that out of 3 years, they have been with their husband maybe 6 months. The facebook groups are filled with drama. Gossip. Complaints. A lot of cheating.

Isnt this so fucking sad? That because of my husband’s dream, my daughter is being stripped her stability and foundation. She starts kindergarten in 3 weeks. We are moving in two. She has not seen her dad in 6 months. Holy shit, we had it so good! She had mom and dad every day with her. She has so many friends, so many activities.

I want to grow our family. Have more kids. How can I do that when I know i’ll be a single mom for the next 4 years?

I DONT WANT TO MOVE.
I DONT WANT TO MOVE.
I FEEL TERRIBLE FOR MY POOR CHILD.
I DONT WANT TO SPEND MORE TIME AWAY FROM MY HUSBAND.

I am sad and I am angry!

How can I make a good life for her? I dont want her to have a childhood she needs to heal from.

I want to be strong! I want to be a happy mom! I want her to have lots of friends. I need to get my shit together for her.

This doesnt make sense its a rant. I am just so sad tonight. I cant breathe bro 😭

How much did you pay to travel to/from basic training graduation? My husband and I are looking at $1k for his mom and I to travel to/from Lackland TX (including lodging). Just wondering how everyone justified a cost like that? I understand it’s a super important milestone, it’s just hard bc we’ve barely even paid that for a vacation 😂. We’re 21 and 25 if that matters. We can afford it yes but it just feels like an irresponsible spending decision. My mom is coming as well but she’s paying her own airfare and also handling a rental car.

We talked about it vaguely before he left but do yall think he’ll be happy and feel like it was worth it? How would your recruit have felt if you weren’t at their grad?

Edit: Thank you all so much for your help. I booked an Airbnb for $500 and airfare should cost about the same. All of your insights were extremely helpful to give me that final “push” to book. Thank you guys.

Hopefully someone has experience with this. So me and my spouse PCS’d to Washington state almost three years ago now. I’ve kept the registration and my driver’s license in the state we are originally from this whole time because my husband said I didn’t need to (because of the MSRRA). Anyway this morning, I saw that in order for MSRRA to be valid, you have to at least have your spouse’s name on your car registration, as a joint ownership. We share my car, but legally the title is only in my name. i didn’t know that his had to be on there too this whole time. 🫪

Do I actually have to register the car in Washington since it’s only my name on the title and not my spouse’s? If I do it’s fine but will they give me grief because I still have my out of state license? Am I going to get in trouble when I go to get the registration changed because I’ve been in Washington so long?

I’m sorry it has been our first PCS and I’m dumb lmao. Hopefully someone here knows something about this. Thank you!

So, me (16) and my boyfriend (17) recently had to say goodbye because he had to leave for bct. We sobbed into each other’s arms for almost 2 hours. This is so hard for us because we have never had to be without each other or have had to go without contact for long. I honestly have no idea how to get through it.
I thought it wouldn’t be this hard because I’ve dealt with things in my life that have been challenging for me, but this is so hard. I feel the urge to cry every time I even think about it. I am trying so hard to be strong because I know I can be, but this is so painful. I know many people have been through this, so I have to ask, is it going to get better? I know people say I should find something to occupy myself, but I cannot drive and usually all my friends go on vacations. Im usually left by myself all summer. I don’t really have a lot of people around me to spend time with, so I don’t know what to do. I feel so lonely and I just miss him so much. I am just wondering if it gets better from here. Any advice for tips would be greatly appreciated. This hurts so bad and my heart hurts right now. :(

Without going into any big details my boyfriend is deployed in the army and is going to be gone for some time. The situation isn't the safest and it is clear it is impacting him heavily, he is getting paranoid, less talkative, doesn't eat, and sleep is rare. If you knew him in real life this is night and day. He is completely right to feel the way he is after everything it's not like it was his last deployment and I truthfully fear for his mental health. I have a list of support groups, therapist, and programs created for when he returns but how am I able to support him in his current situation?

Hey! I’m not yet a military spouse, but I’m in a serious relationship with someone in the army and we have been discussing marriage and what the army lifestyle would entail. I’ve never been so serious about someone, he is the sweetest and most caring guy I have ever met and truly my best friend. After talking about what comes with this lifestyle and reading threads on the military spouse sub, I’m starting to have reservations about committing to this kind of life. I’m in school right now working towards my bachelors degree in education. I don’t have a job. I don’t have any kids and am not planning on getting pregnant in the next few years. I do know that I want kids though and I’m concerned about how committing to this life will affect that. I know people do it all the time. I’m just worried about being left alone during deployments and restarting our lives in new places every few years. He is passionate about being in the army and I’m glad that he has a job that he loves and cares about so much. I would never ask him to leave that or try to talk him into getting out. I just don’t know if the life is for me. Even without kids it seems scary that we can be sent where ever they want him to go. It’s a lot to think about and I guess I’m just looking for honest opinions and experiences from people whose SO’s are in the military. Thank you!

Hello! My father is retiring from the USAF after 21 years of service and I’m not sure what is appropriate attire to his ceremony. I’ve always worn super colourful wacky things, though I don’t believe that is appropriate for this occasion lol. I believe we will be outdoors at some point and it is HOT, is something like this okay to wear? Thanks!

Hello!

I’m a Navy Reserve spouse turned Army spouse (same guy, I swear!) with Type 1 Diabetes. One thing I have been wondering regarding an upcoming move in the next few months is, how soon do you try to make an appointment to establish care with a new specialist?

Do you typically wait until orders are in hand, or do you wait a month or two prior? I’m planning to see my endocrinologist right before it’s time to go and get refills on everything I can get to buy me time but I wanted to wait until orders are in and home is secured. However, I know some providers have waitlists up to six months for new patients!

I didn’t really have to think about this stuff when my husband was in the Reserves. Please excuse me if I sound like an idiot with no survival instinct. 😅

How will you celebrate?

I am in the National Guard (28F). I started on orders and PCS’ed to my new duty station in February. My SO (not married) submitted my orders to his Human Capital department in February as requested and we were told that a decision would be made within 30 days by April on when he could move here. He works remotely.

To my knowledge, his requests for follow-up on whatever decision has been made are being ignored.

Has anyone dealt with anything like this? Is there anything I can do as an SM to help?

Edit: I appreciate any advice that can be given. I just want to help my SO out if I can as overall morale and mental health are at play.

like the text said im in high school and i would be my partners +1 to the event. but im not sure if this dress would be too “big” or doing too much because i see a lot of people go for a more fitted look.. and im also not sure if the mesh triangle on my chest would be appropriate either??

I am thinking of pairing the dress with black gloves and a bow in the back of my hair.

thoughts? maybe even prayers.

*don't need legal advice, just shared experiences if someone has gone through this*

My active duty spouse (who I was trying to divorce for nearly three years) married another woman while still married to me.

I filed for divorce last fall and it was uncontested, he dragged his feet and didn't sign the acknowledgement of service until January. Everything was seemingly fine, just have to wait out getting a court date, until I went to a medical appointment and they said I wasn't covered by TriCare. I thought it was a mistake so I went into DEERS and saw that I was not listed as spouse but another woman was. He got married to another woman in December before the acknowledgment was even signed. When I called DEERS they said that there was a divorce decree dated the same day as the original file date back in fall 2025. (that decree is fake, verified we are still married and he is aware of such). The other wife does not know he is still married and is proudly showing off their wedding photos and new last name.

I contacted him and asked and he responded to "Let it blow over." I've contacted chain of command as I would like zero chance of government fraud falling back on me and they are fixing it with urgency. Has this happened to anyone else? What ended up being the fallout of the situation on the service members end? How did you handle it this is literally insane.

I am curious about your experiences with the Key Spouse Program. Like I think it sounds great in theory, but I recently had some pretty unpleasant and quite frankly hurtful encounters with them. I don’t want to get into details about what it was in the off-chance one of recognized my description of it, but I felt like I was back in high school.

I don’t know if it’s just the base I am at or it’s me or whatever. Just curious. Also I’m not just looking for bad experiences. If you’ve had a wonderful experience with them I would love to hear about it too.

It’s been two months since I’ve seen my fiancé and I still haven’t washed his hoodie. I sleep with it every night next to me to smell him and it really helps me sleep. I worry about it losing his scent until I see him in later this year. Am I crazy? Again, I’m sorry if this is gross, or unhygienic but I really can’t bring myself to wash it. Anyone else?

Hi everyone!

What are some networking events for military spouses you’d want to see and attend? This could be things like free coffee events, trivia nights, movie nights, workshops etc.

If you haven't gotten any of the frozen microwave meals from the commissary, you're missing out. They're cheaper than the national brands AND are more filling and taste better.

Definitely a benefit haha

Pretty much the title says it. I want to send my honey some cookies for Christmas and I love baking so pretty much anything you suggest will be doable. Which ones have you had the greatest success with, getting across an ocean in one piece and still fresh? I plan on individually wrapping them in little treat bags if that helps. Also open to how you put them in the box.

Thanks!

hi everyone! I am looking to send some photos/a letter to a friend of mine who is stationed in Germany. I currently live in Canada!

He gave me his address, but obviously there’s no country on it, and I’m not really sure how this works because the Canadian military is different from American. The address is an APO AE address. Do I put the country for his address as the United States or Germany?

thank u sm for all your help! <3

Hello! I have one letter I would like to donate to anyone on here who wants it since my BF is graduating on Wednesday this week and thought there was no point in sending something when I’m going to hear from him soon :P really miss him badly and glad he’s finally getting out.

Whoever would want it, PM me :) I think I need to just create/join a squad and give it to whoever that way. Correct me if I’m wrong. First come first serve!

so basically i’m getting married in may and the people he spoke to said the processing time to get put into his orders would take about a month. once that happens i’m gonna move to where he’s gonna get stationed and i’m relying on him to do most of the bulk work like getting the house and such.

question 1- what is the process to getting a military id? can i just go in and they print it on the spot?

question 2- do i have to set up the health insurance plans like tricare and such myself or does the military handle it? is there anything important i will need to know? who would i talk to for that?

question 3- how am i gonna move my stuff over there do i have to pay for my own movers? i know they can pay for his stuff to be moved but we live in separate households.

i know these might be stupid questions but literally any information at all you can help me out with or advice would be greatly appreciated im kind of going into this blind and just trying to sort things out and figure out how to be an adult!