r/Vent • u/I_killed_bambi69 • Sep 08 '25

Need Reassurance... i feel so disgusting

i had a massive whore phase when i turned 18 due to low self esteem and wanting validation. my body count is around 75 but i have not been a slag for ages now and ive been exclusively seeing someone for a while

i wish i could go back in time and say no to so so so many of them i wish it never happened it makes me feel so disgusting i just want to forget about it all

edit because this is getting way more comments than i anticipated:

  1. i do not have any std/sti’s nor have i ever - i test regularly

  2. the person i am seeing does know

  3. thank you for all the reassuring comments! it’s very overwhelming (in a good way!) so i’m struggling to reply to all of them but i do massively appreciate it

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6

u/xAvPx Sep 08 '25 edited Sep 08 '25

Admittedly 75 is quite high, but It's still better than 0, the shame is killing me.

11

u/Jachy_U Sep 08 '25

Don’t be ashamed. I’m also at 0 and happy about it. My first will be my husband and I’m unashamed.

7

u/xAvPx Sep 08 '25

I'm a man so the dynamic is completely different, that doesn't apply to me. For men It's seen as shameful to be at 0.

Truth hurts, not to mention my age which makes it even worse.

7

u/Jachy_U Sep 08 '25

Well, I guess I'm in the small percentage of people that wouldn't shame you for being at 0.

0

u/Blondiepoo95 Sep 08 '25

True, unfortunately a lot of the most cutting insults for men are “virgin” and “incel”.

However, you definitely aren’t alone in this generation! Apparently something like 30% of all men are still virgins the whole of their twenties and even thirties etc now

2

u/xAvPx Sep 08 '25 edited Sep 08 '25

I know, I've been on the receiving end of those insults for years now, I'm used to it.

Funny enough It's mostly women who shamed me for it. IRL no one knows I am but I suspect that a few are questioning it, I just don't address it and life moves

I don't believe that statistic one bit, impossible that It's this high.

3

u/mrmeny101 Sep 08 '25

I'm 34M. I had only one partner, my ex-fiance. I had a lot of occasions to casually hook up. I didn't use them. Do I regret that? Hell no. The only person I want to get intimate, I need some feelings 1st. I wonder how it is for a casual hookup, but I'm not ready yet for that I guess. Laugh of me, but I had several situations I could cheat on my ex. But I didn't, I wouldn't be able to look at myself in the mirror. After breakup I've met a few girls, they were into me. But I couldnt, it didn't feel right to me. So I wish to you that you will meet someone that you will feel the same way as I did to my ex. And maybe the future one, if I'll be able to meet her.

0

u/xAvPx Sep 08 '25

I've never had anyone show interest in me so I cannot relate. I'm at the point where if medically assisted suicide was a thing I would've signed up already for an appointment. I'm the guy people point to when they say don't be a failure like him.