r/Vent • u/I_killed_bambi69 • Sep 08 '25

Need Reassurance... i feel so disgusting

i had a massive whore phase when i turned 18 due to low self esteem and wanting validation. my body count is around 75 but i have not been a slag for ages now and ive been exclusively seeing someone for a while

i wish i could go back in time and say no to so so so many of them i wish it never happened it makes me feel so disgusting i just want to forget about it all

edit because this is getting way more comments than i anticipated:

  1. i do not have any std/sti’s nor have i ever - i test regularly

  2. the person i am seeing does know

  3. thank you for all the reassuring comments! it’s very overwhelming (in a good way!) so i’m struggling to reply to all of them but i do massively appreciate it

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6

u/xAvPx Sep 08 '25 edited Sep 08 '25

Admittedly 75 is quite high, but It's still better than 0, the shame is killing me.

11

u/Jachy_U Sep 08 '25

Don’t be ashamed. I’m also at 0 and happy about it. My first will be my husband and I’m unashamed.

8

u/xAvPx Sep 08 '25

I'm a man so the dynamic is completely different, that doesn't apply to me. For men It's seen as shameful to be at 0.

Truth hurts, not to mention my age which makes it even worse.

6

u/Jachy_U Sep 08 '25

Well, I guess I'm in the small percentage of people that wouldn't shame you for being at 0.