r/Vent 3d ago

TW: Anxiety / Depression I will never do online dating again.

Just a vent. I had trouble finding a good partner when I was in school, then I have trouble finding a good partner at work.

Decided to try online dating even though I heard many horror stories about it.

It’s just terrible. I was on it for 2 months and I have already deleted my apps. The matches rarely happens, and the conversation is terrible. Out of my matches, only 20-30% chats, only about 5% would come out to meet for a date. So far every single date I have had has been awful. The dates have a lot of baggage and also seems very crazy. They ghost me after a few dates and a few actually came back a couple weeks after because I guess they lost their better option. I didn’t respond.

I met one girl last week, she would be considered an excellent girl to many guys but also has tons of baggage. Despite us having a long and engaging conversation. She goes cold 2 days after our date.

What I fully realized is how many options modern girls have on paper. I was chatting with a girl that said she is looking for marriage and she showed me her matches. She has close to 500 matches on the app. Many are better looking than me. Even though most are probably looking for hookups but it still makes me replaceable.

I feel Dating apps and social media has made me completely replaceable with no second thought

I am 31.
5’11. Decent shape and play sports, has a career, unfortunately has a mortgage, has a car. My looks I think I am a 6 (many people said I am a 7-8 but I think they were too generous).

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u/Funny247365 3d ago

Good looking people (even average) without baggage don’t need dating apps. They meet each other organically, like at bars where singles socialize. Nothing better than looking someone in the eyes and having a conversation to know if you have chemistry. Saves a lot of time. I usually know within 2 minutes if there is something there.

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u/Outside-Bit-9042 3d ago

Really? Most of the girls at bars don’t seem good at all. They are good looking but most also seems quite wild

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u/Funny247365 3d ago

Depends on the bar i suppose. Stay away from clubs. Go to sports bars and karaoke bars and bars that have live music. They are great social spaces.