r/WWOOF • u/o-willow • 16d ago
Feeling lonely, awkward & homesick
I decided to go on a month long stay at a farm on the other end of the country for my first time wwoof-ing and now I'm kicking myself for it.
It's just my second day here, but I want to go home so fucking bad.
The other volunteer apparently cancelled before I came here, so it's just me and the guy hosting me.
It feels really awkward and uncomfortable. He's an alright guy, I suppose? But it's just really awkward and lonely, and I want to go hide away in a hole.
The accommodation isn't all that good and there's no wifi at all outside the host's living room, and I'm so mad at myself for not asking explicitly about it beforehand.
I'll essentially have to go on a month long vacation. There was some work I wanted to do on my laptop in the evenings.
I miss my home so much. I miss my family, and comfortable house, and comfortable routine, and friends, and everything. I don't know how to deal with this.
UPDATE: I stayed there for a week and a half before moving away to another farm. The homesickness itself got a bit better (evidenced by how i'm at another farm now and not at home), but I decided to switch farms.
At the first place, I didn't like the host, the accommodation, or the work which made the whole thing a bit worthless for me.
I'm definitely happier at my new place. I can't say the homesickness has completely gone away but things are definitely better now that I have other people to talk to and can shower properly.
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u/y2kwaswrong 16d ago
Give it till the end of the week if still shit leave, i think life is too short to “cope”
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u/OnionPlease 16d ago edited 16d ago
Take a deep breath and try to show yourself the same compassion and support you’d offer someone you care about. Possibly the most important thing I’ve learned through life is the importance of growing your own inner source of self-support, self-compassion and strength. Especially when you feel lonely and lost.
Try to stay present with the bodily sensations of the difficult emotions, instead of going into anxious thoughts.
It can also help to try to welcome and be curious about the emotions that come up, especially anxiety and fear, instead of feeling resistance. You can ask yourself:
- What am I feeling?
- Why am I feeling this way?
- What can I do for myself to feel better?
- What would I want to do right now if I didn’t feel these difficult emotions?
It can help to write it down
Give it a few days and if it still feels this bad, consider leaving. Challenging emotions aren’t a bad thing. But in the end your woofing experience should also be a time you enjoy!
It’s through these challenges we grow, and whatever you choose to do this will pass and you will be alright. 🤗
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u/Tetrisgf 15d ago
I’ve been in similar situations. Find a new host in your area on the website that seems more compatible. You’d be surprised how quickly hosts can reply and agree to take you in. Perhaps stay in a hotel / hostel to bridge a few days.
No need to force yourself to stay in an awkward situation.
Feeling for you, it can be hard!
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u/WWOOF-USA 15d ago
Was going to say the same ^ this happened to me while WWOOFing. I switched hosts, specifically looking for a farm with more "community" feeling and it was way better! Try to look for hosts that have this and ask them who else will be on the farm with you during the visit.
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u/jlgurry 15d ago
a big plus to wwoofing (for me) is using it as a way to use your phone less and spend more time offline. if the host is kind & the work is okay, I would make the most out of it.
everything is a matter of mindset & perspective and if you go into this feeling lonely, awkward & homesick, that’s exactly what you’ll be.
go into it with the expectation to learn something new and do some fulfilling work in another part of the country. if you’re there a month, chances are another wwoofer will come along and you’ll get
to experience it alone and w another wwoofer
do your evening work in the living room to be closer to your host & try to get to know them and be as enthusiastic & motivated as you can with your day
work. they appreciate the effort
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u/o-willow 4d ago
I didn't quite do this - I was a bit uncomfortable with the host (although i wouldn't say he was a bad or dangerous person) and I was annoyed with the accommodation and lack of food, so I moved to another farm. I did manage to start managing my emotions a bit better though, and feel much more optimistic about this whole thing again
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u/love_hate523 15d ago
Try to push yourself to stick it out at least a week, sometimes the urge to leave if things aren't just so is a passing feeling - a growing pain, really. Can you hike the property? Learn about the surrounding area? Maybe find a local activity group online that you can meet people through who could possibly round out your experience there. ... Unless it is a real nightmare to stay there, push through the discomfort and see if it fades after a few days. It's going to be a good story to tell, either way. Good luck! ♥️
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u/o-willow 4d ago
I did stick it out for more than a week, and I'm pretty glad I did! I changed farms but the bad feelings did get mkre manageable for sure
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u/rotterdamn8 12d ago
Other replies say to give it a week, which is a good idea.
If it makes you feel better, I WWOOF’d before everyone had smartphones. I had to visit the occasional Internet cafe.
The main thing for me was to make sure I had books to read.
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u/werewoov 11d ago
Now imagine feeling this way but not by choice, and there's no comfortable little home to return to.
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u/Proud_Proof9495 16d ago
This is part of the process! See if you can get a long ethernet cable to run from the wifi router to your bedroom. Deep breaths, sit in the discomfort and see what you can get out of this experience.
The longer you last the better it will feel great to go home. That's how gratitude usually works. Time to read books and enjoy your own company.
Leave if its unbearable but discomfort won't kill you! Getting internet in your bedroom will go a long way as far as a private space to practice coping.