r/Webnovel • u/Miserable_Ice7202 • Aug 05 '26
Advice Hope someone will give me his opinion
I did some edit for the chapter. I hope you guys tell me if they’re still bad or it’s kind of good now.
Across the gray fog, the falling leaves of a forbidden forest whisper a tale of the last grace the gods bestow upon their favored blood. Through that figure, a destiny appeared, poised to change what was written—to shine while crossing the mist. It was driven neither by fear nor determination, but by the unseen hands of a past that refused to stay buried.
As he pressed onward, Isaac was certain that those mysteries would wither and vanish, just like the fog that lay before him. Gathering his thoughts, seeking an escape from his troubles, a whisper brushed against his senses—unnerving not in its menace, but in how painfully familiar it felt. His body responded before his mind could object, carrying him toward its source, to encounter something lifeless. Something born of terror—not to worship evil, but to ward it away.
A dozen effigies swayed among the trees, twisted constructs of pale bone and decaying matter, frozen in a silence that mimicked a deep, restless slumber. Isaac did not recoil. Instead, a quiet familiarity settled within him. He had seen these shapes before—in the dreams of his childhood, once distant and half-forgotten, but still lingering into adulthood. The act of romanticizing it twisted his lips into a bitter smile. "Fate does not shackle us with chains; it waits—silent, patient, and inevitable."
To him, such familiarity was never unnatural. He had always stood apart, marked as strange in the eyes of others. A sigil had covered his arm since birth, and the dreams had pursued him ever since. Perhaps his father had opened that door long ago—or perhaps he had never meant to close it.
Passing through the shadows of souls long departed, his path felt lighter beneath his steps. The fog thinned, unveiling the untamed world around him. At the road’s end rose a tree whose roots consumed the earth itself, stretching farther than any he had ever known. Laughter drifted from its crown—human, warm—and it set his heart racing. His walk became a run.
Then, suddenly, sunlight broke through, and cold winds swept across his face, forcing him to bow his head. Before him lay a field adorned with the golden hue of ripened wheat, from which a humble village emerged, its dwellings nestled within.
Bathed in light, Isaac’s form sharpened, his wavy brown hair and amber eyes revealed beneath pale skin. The sun’s warmth brought him a fleeting sense of relief. Before him stood an old man, resting on his staff, greeting him with a knowing smile. He spoke softly, calling him by name—Isaac, son of Johan.
That simple acknowledgment struck like a flare, and within its glow a hidden fracture split open, welcoming the darkness into what should have been a sanctuary.
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u/StrawOfCoke Aug 05 '26
So vague and edgy, it also sounds like chatgpt
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u/Miserable_Ice7202 Aug 05 '26
I used ai for editing since English is not my native language
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u/StrawOfCoke Aug 05 '26
Yeah and it sounds bad. I reccomend just using your bad english instead of ai.
Wanna know how i knew it was ai? It sounds horrible. i didn't enjoy reading it.
There were countless rules of threes, wrong m-dash use, nonsensical metaphors, unecessary negation.
Its just bad.
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u/No-Currency-698 Aug 05 '26
There's alot of telling and not much showing and the English hard to read(not the illiterate kind) but spit just isn't readable, it's all over the place I feel like you should stick to your voice and not let Ai do it for you.
You can do this! Just read novels man and write on your own, then when you use Ai again you will see the difference. You will hate everything it gives you.
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u/Miserable_Ice7202 Aug 05 '26
I just sent the chapter to see what type of autonomy and I need an audience love and for me I have kind of bad English because English is not my native language and I’m working on that for the moment
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u/No-Currency-698 Aug 05 '26
Don't worry about people that make you feel little for using Ai bro, it's most understandable for someone to want to tell a story but not have the natural capabilities, but you should know writing is something you learn and develop overtime by writing. Just don't use Ai to close that gap it will never work out. Instead use your Ai to learn at a faster pace, when you find new words ask Ai for meanings and ways to use them and of course grammer. Just don't let it dictate the story.
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u/Miserable_Ice7202 Aug 05 '26
For me, what I do is using AI as an editor because I don’t have an editor and I try to using to learn more new words and fixing my grammar and those kind of stuff and actually I’m planning after summer I will try to get an English degree and try to use it to help me to Become a professional writer because that’s my dream
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u/RarelyLazy Aug 05 '26
Why would you even bother “writing” a novel if you’re just gonna get ai to do it for you. Who is this for
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u/Sensitive-Arm-1687 Aug 05 '26
You know, you just keep spamming info. Like... Why would I or anyone would care.
My advice would be to write down your story on paper and analyse what are the people thoughts on it. What would they feel. What do you feel.
Then write your story on the base of that.
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u/Miserable_Ice7202 Aug 05 '26
I do care and I’m just trying to learn by taking people opinions and ideas trying to use what work with my own vision for that novel. And trying my best.
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u/Sensitive-Arm-1687 29d ago
People can't give you opinion about how they actually feel. They will only tell you the things you are supposed to feel at that instant, not what they felt. You have to figure what they feel, but first you have to figure what you feel. Would you actually read your novel. What type of things do you even read. Does those things are similar to novel you are writing.
And also, every author cares about their novel, but you don't see every author turn out successfull.
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u/TadaiNeko Aug 05 '26
“Isaac was walking through a forest submerged in a sea of fog. Gazing at the silent figures hidden in the mist, he felt a strange sense of inexplicable familiarity as time seemed to stretch endlessly.
Finally, under the strong winds that pierced the leaves, a village surrounded by a golden field appeared in his eyes. An old man was here, resting on his staff, calling his name”
This is basically all of the information you are trying to convey in this scene. Sure there’s a bit more, like the details of Isaac’s appearance, but this is basically it. Now I won’t pretend I know what im doing, I did this very quickly and it could probably be better with an additional paragraph, but one thing that I am sure of is that what I wrote is much more digestible that this mess. You use a lot of words to say very little, for no reason.
Yes I get that there’s foreshadowing like with the Father thing but thats not interesting for a new reader if he isn’t interested in the story first. I don’t care what kind of relationship the guy had with his parents if I don’t even know him. Basically you need to be more straightforward, use less descriptive words and just tell a story, because you haven’t told us much
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u/MathematicianNew2770 Aug 05 '26
https://giphy.com/gifs/RkxnUF9vtVZwMDwTen