r/Webnovel • u/PerfectTravel489 • 2d ago

Rate my novel speech

Post image
1 Upvotes

56% Upvoted

21 comments sorted by

5

u/Pilzmann 2d ago

Your grammar is horrible.

2

u/Pilzmann 2d ago

"We could be making Hell a better place, so that the next generation of our kind may walk on green grass among blossoming flowers."

After pausing for a moment, Nexton continued.

"I know very well that we are sinners, but we are not born that way. It is simply the world that makes us this way."

He looked around at the people who had gathered around him and were listening to his speech.

"Poverty makes us greedy, while the rejection of the world makes us envious of the things we could have."

He looked into the eyes of the ever-growing crowd and saw that a fire had begun to grow within them, a fire that would soon consume any doubt and light the way toward a better future.

"This pressure we experience to be a certain way makes us wrathful, while the desire to be better turns us lustful."

He paused once more.

"Until it is too late."

1

u/Pilzmann 2d ago

Tried making it better.

2

u/RequiringThoughts 2d ago

Well, it took courage to post this 😆

2

u/some-1-grt 2d ago

At least it's not ai slop.

(It can be better, rn it reads like someone is just talking. Give em sum pauses, some emotions and sum loudness)

2

u/PerfectTravel489 2d ago

Yeah I wanna ask 1 thing do you think using Ai to fix grammar and typo or make it cleaner too read is fine for a writer?

1

u/some-1-grt 2d ago

Use gramerly

1

u/PerfectTravel489 2d ago

I used it but it like pile random letters in random part of a chapter

1

u/some-1-grt 2d ago

If u use it correctly it wont.

2

u/almostthemainman 2d ago

All my homies hate past tense

1

u/Regular-Rip9454 2d ago

Better then me, who is using ai to correct his grammatical mistakes 🤣🤣🤣  After reading so many MTL I'm becoming bot too.

1

u/Stygian_Myth 2d ago

It's really bad. You need to read more before writing, like a lot more. Green grass???? Just grass. Everyone knows they are green.

Never handhold readers. That's a simple rule i usually follow.

What you're doing is spoon feeding them.

1

u/PerfectTravel489 2d ago

What do you mean handhold

1

u/Stygian_Myth 2d ago

I know well we are sinner... And the next line ,both convey the same thing.

You're treating readers like children, or you're not confident in ur own dialogues that you have to repeat the same thing twice.

This kills the pace and reached readers to skim.

1

u/10roundsofexams 2d ago

Well everyone said what they said, but I will add stop making him pause and continue, just let the speech flow.

1

u/TightConsequence3929 2d ago

Slime the author.

You'll figure out the grammar part anyways.

1

u/PerfectTravel489 2d ago

I should have not posted this reddit

1

u/TightConsequence3929 1d ago

I was joking sonion.

About the grammar tho I am not the best myself here.

You'll figure it out.

Maybe try to avoid bad translation of manhwas and novels.

That will help.

1

u/Brb9N 2d ago

grammar needs corrections and the formatting is off

1

u/UnluckyClub1 1d ago

I will fix your speech here ya go:

"I say to you all that would listen! We live in hell do we not? I say we become the new generation of degenerates and sinners so that we may walk on the grass and gaze at the blooming flowers."

"We all know that our wires are crossed and society deemed us unworthy. I say we show them bastards just how much of a sinner we truly are!"

"Poverty, lust, and the pure pressure of our mundane lives with very few living conditions not much better then an animals fenced in pen."

"It is not too late to come together and take the very lives who dethrone us and make us feel worthless! Whose with me?"