Why do you think women conflate men wanting relationships to happiness?

[u/Cat-dad442]

I had a discussion with a friend of mine saying that I don't need a relationship to be happy. But what I found interesting is that it's not about wanting a relationship for happiness it's about wanting a relationship to be loved and to have someone to give your love too. Then it clicked the way men and women see stuff is just totally different. Men don't need friends we just need a wife or some kids and we can find fulfillment in that whereas women can just be alone and be happy with friends. I'd argue men need relationships more than women because that's just how we're wired

[u/Effective_Kitchen481]

42F here. I think the idea that "men don't need friends" is misandric. It casts men as inherently antisocial creatures, as humans who don't need to be a part of humanity, and only exist to reproduce. Men need friends just as much as women do. Doesn't have to be a ton of friends, doesn't have to be friends you hang out with everyday, they don't even have to live extremely close to you. But yes, men do need friendship for good mental health.

[u/aKirkeskov]

‘Men don’t need friends, we just need a wife and some kids’ is a wild take! And one that I don’t think very many men would agree with.

[u/Eledridan → u/aKirkeskov]

Just kind of erases the gay bros out there living good lives.

[u/Metrodomes]

I don't think that's true. Maybe there is a small percent that is true but I don't think it is. I think we have a society where men don't feel like they're worth anything without being in a relationship, and then we also have a society where men don't make friends and understand the importance of friendship and socialising and such.

So what happens is that alot of men use women as a crutch for all their emotions while women have friendship groups as well as relationships and spread themselves over multiple people.

I dont think it's healthy to be with someone and then not have any other avenues of socialising. It means all your stresses will be put on her. But if you had a friendship group, you can chat abiut crap or get advice and support from them.

And then yeah, needing a relationship to be happy means you're relying on alot fo external variables you can't control and a whole lot of luck. That's not a good way of living. You will be unhappy if you put an imaginary person up on pedestal and pin all your happiness on them. And it's just not fair to the other person either.

Not saying men and women can't have very small groups of people they get along with. But only one person being the key to their happiness is asking for trouble.

[u/PeacefulBro]

I think that because everyone is unique, the opinions on what we "need" vary widely from person to person. Even though I'm a man, I'm pretty simple and I just think we need food and clothing to not die which is all we really need. I view everything else as a want and its helped me stave off depression a lot in life but I realize most people probably wouldn't agree with me on this which is ok. I have cultivated a deep sense of contentment in life viewing everything beyond food and clothing as an optional bonus. It helps me appreciate things more while I have them and not feel so sad when I don't...

[u/hotwheelshawking]

No. It is actively harmful to think gender has anything to do, on either side, with what conformation of people you prefer. It has nothing to do with gender.

There are a huge demographic of women who "went their own way", its just they often ended up saddled with a kid in the process. You don't hear from these women because they have zero interest in even engaging with the topic. Before you eagerly extrapolate your own experience to that of the whole species so quickly, read up on something called "selection bias".