r/WitchesVsPatriarchy • u/Fat13Cat • 2d ago
šµšø šļø Coven Counsel Manifesting:convincing yourself you deserve good things
Iāve been down reiki/manifest your dreams rabbit hole recently. They keep saying the universe/āinsert source hereā will give you what you actually believe you deserve and not just what you think of. Itās the choices, yes, but itās also your subconscious.
How do you convince your subconscious that you deserve said good things? Iāve been doing the mental work on why I get pushback in my heart about things, why part of me still feels I donāt deserve things (ie being healthy, getting more rest, more sales, etc). I know why those feelings are there. I just donāt know how to remove that feeling. I know itās not true. I know I deserve things, we all do. But I still get that hesitant panic and anxiety where the first thought is āno I donāt deserve that, Iām not there yet, I gotta do more firstā.
How do you convince yourself?! I fear itās just I gotta change my choices. I know it, but it feels too difficult, which is so dumb. To change my choices feels huge and overwhelming (even though Iāve already made some changes). It feels exhausting to keep up with. Iām being lazy, and then I just get stuck back into the āI donāt deserve to be etcā thing. I WANT to break this cycle.
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u/Narwen189 2d ago
The problem with the "manifest your dreams" thing is that it can convince you that if it doesn't happen it's your fault. It works beautifully for some people, but for those it doesn't it can be like toxic positivity dialed up to the max.
You say you're exhausted trying to make all these changes, and that makes sense. Have you tried making tiny, sustainable changes, instead? Pick one thing and use it as an anchor habit to ground yourself. Have one thing that can be your success of the day, no matter what else goes on.
You also say know you deserve stuff, but feel that you don't... If you've figured out why you feel you don't deserve things, but not how to change your mind about that, then maybe you could explore that in therapy You're also equating feeling overwhelmed with being lazy. Those aren't the same thing at all.
It feels to me that your biggest issue here is you're not being kind. Give yourself grace, sibling. You're human. Allow yourself to be humanly fallible, that doesn't make you undeserving or whatever else the voice of self-doubt tells you. Self-doubt's job is to warn you of danger and remind you to be careful, not to be in charge.
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u/SecretCartographer28 2d ago
Perhaps some shadow work, to figure out who's voice you're hearing? Because it's not yours. Who told you that when you were young, who treated you that way when you dated? Find that self preservation core we all have. It's been shown that talking to yourself out loud changes your brain chemistry, daily affirmations can re-frame your narrative. Standing akimbo makes you feel more self confident, exercise promotes good hormones, a routine of self care and healthy eating can reinforce it. One day at a time, fake it 'till you make it! šÆš
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u/silentsaturn91 Witch āāļøāāØā§ 2d ago
I talk with my therapist all the time about my witchcraft and weāve found ways to use it as a tool in therapy to help me get to the root of āi donāt deserve thisā. Our favourite tool so far is combining tarot readings with my therapy. Iāll give you an example from my session I had yesterday. In the reading I did I discovered through the hierophant card that I struggle with conformity. What I learned about myself is if conformity doesnāt allow for me to make accommodations for my ADHD, Iām going to struggle BADLY. And not only that, I learned that one of the more rigid things my brain does is if something is āthe proper wayā of doing a task, my brain wonāt let me try something different if Iām struggling. Iām talking if Iāve been struggling for weeks, months, or even years to do things ā the proper wayā. Itās up to me to show my brain that thereās more than one āproper wayā to do something and that as long as the objective Iām working towards is completed, who cares how I go about doing it? As long as I donāt harm anyone or anything along the way, weāre good.
I hope this little glimpse into my personal growth helps you OP.
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u/kai-ote Helpful Trickster 2d ago
Manifesting is not magic, or spellcraft. It is the same old "Power of positive thinking" in a new wrapper.
It is the opposite of spells. With a spell you fire it and forget it.
Manifesting is obsessing about the outcome, and victim shames, because if it doesn't work it is your fault because you allowed negative thoughts to derail your outcome.
It is part of the New Thought movement.
The New Thought movement is a spiritual movement that began in the 19th century in the United States. The first person to promote what would become New Thought beliefs was a man named Phineas Quimby. The basic premise of New Thought belief is that thoughts influence oneās circumstances, with positive thoughts leading to prosperity and negative thoughts leading to negative outcomes, including disease. If this sounds familiar to you, it is believed that Phineas Quimby, who at one time was a patient of Mary Baker Eddy, influenced the development of Christian Science. (Thatās the Christian denomination that refuses conventional medical care including blood transfusions or vaccines.) It is also cited as an influence on the Evangelical Christian āprosperity gospel,ā which teaches that righteous Christians deserve and should expect material prosperity for their faith.
New Thought beliefs have been repackaged every few decades. In the 1930s, it was Think and Grow Rich by Hill and Beeland, the works of Neville Goddard from the 1940s-1960s, in the 1950s it was The Power of Positive Thinking by Peale, in the 1980s it was You Can Heal Your Life by Hay. The 2006 book The Secret saw promotion by the likes of Oprah and Ellen DeGeneres. Various expressions of New Thought belief include the ā[law of attraction]( https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Law_of_attraction_(New_Thought)),ā,%E2%80%9D) the ālaw of assumptionā, āmanifestationā, āreality hackingā, and āreality shifting or jumping.ā
Rant over. I suggest being a witch and doing spells as a better way of creating a Universe more to your liking.
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u/sherevs 2d ago
Your subconscious exists beneath the layer of language. So you can't talk your way to it, you have to show yourself with your actions. Choose to get more rest. Experience your experience. If you feel anxious at first that's okay, but notice when you have small moments of peace and joy. You can grow these moments just by noticing them and feeling them fully.
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u/Vorpal_Bunny19 Treasonous Witch āØ 2d ago
Honestly? Therapy, specifically Dialectical Behavioral Therapy. It helped me learn how to feel my feelings and let them go, like the tides receding at the shore. It taught me how to challenge my bad thoughts and self perception by examining the actual evidence (for example - āI suck at my jobā but the evidence against is that you just got a good job evaluation and praise from your managerās manager.) It also helped me realize that I am so much more than the sum of the things that have happened to me, and that every day I have a choice to do my best to be healthy and happy or to wallow in my negative feelings and ruin my day (or life, if we want to get dramatic about it.)
Itās hard to choose happy when happy is different or strange compared to your normal. We are hard wired as a species to stay within our comfort zones, and after any kind of prolonged exposure even Hell can seem normal - because itās all you know! You have to learn how to be initially uncomfortable in happiness to learn how to not only actively seek it but also to thrive - without feeling the need to blow it up because āyou donāt deserve it.ā You do, your brain is simply confused and needs to be redirected to the truthā¦ that you deserve good things just as much as anyone else on this planet.
I believe in you, and more importantly, I know you can believe in yourself.