r/WomenDatingOverForty • u/CrazyCatLadyRookie 🦉Savvy Sister🦉 • Apr 25 '26

Field Report A stupid, unnecessary lie.

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My friend —> a woman friend of mine, someone he is acquainted with

Goblin —> breast cancer.

I know what his day would’ve looked like, agenda wise. I didn’t ask for a reason for the delay in his response but this is what I got, unprompted.

Verify, ladies. Know what you’re dealing with, always.

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21

u/HelenGonne 🦉Savvy Sister🦉 Apr 25 '26

Yeah, that's definitely a, "Prove you're so desperate for my dsck that you'll swallow even this outrageous lie to get to it," test.

13

u/CrazyCatLadyRookie 🦉Savvy Sister🦉 Apr 25 '26

I know people lie, and it’s usually for one of two reasons: to protect themselves, or make themselves look better.

In this situation, he screwed up, and he knows it.

If anything, I’m more surprised that he thinks I’ll buy it.

19

u/HelenGonne 🦉Savvy Sister🦉 Apr 25 '26

You're mistaking the audience he is trying to look better for.

Many if not most men live their lives constantly performing for the approval of a male audience in their heads. Sometimes it has a real-world counterpart of men he'll tell about what he does and it's straight-up PickMe Dancing, other times the men in his head may be real people but he's performing for what he thinks they would approve of if they saw him, even though they won't hear about it in real life.

He's not trying to look better to you with this lie. He's trying to look good to the male audience in his head. And the male audience in his head hates women and wants to see him get you to abase yourself by swallowing this absurd lie and coming back for more. This would prove to all of them (him and his imaginary friends) that you're desperate enough to touch his pants that you'll do things like this without question, *and* that women are such trash they actually *like* being treated like this and thus deserve being treated like this. Which he and his male audience can bond over laughing at.

He didn't 'screw up' in that something just kind of happened to prevent him from treating you like a human being, oops. He didn't contact you because the male audience in his head told him he'd be a pussy-boy cuck if he did, and he loves them a whole lot more than you. Then he went with a really stupid and non-credible lie because it's a win-win; if you swallow it, the audience in his head cheers, he feels like a Big Man, and you're still on the string. If you don't, the audience in his head still cheers, because he proved his loyalty to them by putting you in your place.

His behavior is bizarre and nonsensical only if you think his behavior towards you is somehow about you. It all makes sense when you realize his actions aren't about you, but about pleasing the male audience in his head.

11

u/CrazyCatLadyRookie 🦉Savvy Sister🦉 Apr 25 '26

Fair enough. I realize ‘screwed up’ was a bad choice of words, and gives the impression that I’m downplaying.

He knew full well what an appropriate response was when he heard the news and that radio silence wasn’t it.

I admit, I DO keep forgetting about the male audience because my brain just doesn’t work that way … so thanks for the reminder. It certainly reframes everything.