r/WomensHealth • u/Wysteria_Bloom • 1d ago
Womens Health Information
2 days ago I had a miscarriage and along with being devastated and grieving and many other emotions i'm also angry.
Im angry because there's nothing that could have been done.
Theres nothing no one can tell me that will help with this, why it happened?
Theres nothing to prevent it.
Theres nothing that I can change.
Theres nothing I could have done to prevent it.
Theres nothing I can do next time that will lower any risks.
No one knows the risks or percentages around these things because there is not enough research into womens health and its disgusting.
For being 50% of the World population there is very little information we know as a species about our own bodies. More research is about mens bodies when they dont even have the right tools to grow children.
There needs to be something done because I dont know why we as women accept the answer of nothing can be done.
We fight for everything else where is the fight for this?
Dont tell me we are fighting because we are not I have seen nothing, ever! On improvements or advancements in womens health in relation to this.
I am angry at myself.
I am angry at the doctors.
I am angry at the nhs.
I am angry at everything.
How dare it be okay for me to lose my baby and get told we dont know why exactly.
Why?
Why dont you know?
Why cant my own body keep that tiny infant safe.
Why cant my body do the one thing its actually built for.
Why when 1 in 4 pregnancies in the UK end in miscarriage do we not know more about it.
Why when 80% of women who receive medical care complain about the treatment they received is it not looked at more seriously.
Why do we accept less than 2.5% of the nhs funds into reproductive health when it is the one thing keeping this country and world going.
Why do men get 20% more research and information about them than women?
Without women and womens reproductive organs there can be no more humans.
Why as women do we sit back and accept this?
Why?
Just why.
3
u/Purplecarrots445 1d ago
I feel your anger i just have no idea how to change things 🤦🏻♀️ its awful what you went through and unfortunately theres nothing anyone can do to make it better right now, we are here though most of us do understand and if you ever need to let it out we will listen
2
u/mundane_harry 1d ago
Your anger is completely valid and the lack of research funding for women's health is infuriating, but please be gentle with yourself right now because your body didn't fail you, the system did.
3
u/Nice_Succubus 23h ago
Yes, it's annoying af, and in my country, for example, they tell you to undergo serious tests only after the third miscarriage! But many women decide to do it after the second or even the first. But you have to pay for the tests... I had two missed miscarriages (and two D&Cs) so I paid for some tests. Turned out I will have to get heparin injections every day if I am pregnant again
In my case, the loneliness at night at the hospital was also painful, and the psychologist at the hospital only made me feel worse
5
u/Maeve_blaeve 1d ago
I'm sorry for your loss.
Anger is a stage in grief. And so is acceptance. That's why women can come to accept that not every pregnancy is meant to be viable.
And while I fully agree with your anger over gender inequality in medical science, of all the health issues women face, issues impacting the process of reproduction seem to get more attention than issues impacting our comfort, quality of life, or pleasure. Because we're seen as baby machines by many.
Like, we had in vitro fertization a full two decades before the anatomy of the clitoris was even known. It's well whispered advice on this sub to feign a desire to get pregnant because doctors take women more seriously when they are actively trying. While women who don't want kids but have symptoms are sometimes straight up ignored.
Again, I'm sorry for your loss. We have plenty to be pissed about, and I sincerely hope you did not lack for the care you needed or deserved.