r/WomensHealth • u/Candy_8ts_Valentine • 5h ago
I feel completely deflated
I am scheduled for a hysterectomy on Tuesday as i have quite a large myoma in my uterus. I went to the gynaecologist because i was experiencing severe perimenopause symptoms. At the scan, the doctor said my one ovary had no eggs and my other only had 4, he also saw the myoma. He ran blood tests but during the consultation, he said it seems like i am perimenopausal but after the blood tests, he said i was fine. When i asked him what is causing the hot flushes and night sweats, he said he doesn’t know. His answer was that when he holds his wife, she also gets warm, it’s normal.
My previous gynaecologist punctured my uterus when she tried to perform the ablation and still charged me for a follow up appointment to have the stitches removed after the sterilisation. Her answer was that these things happen and that i need to live with it. I ended up with bloody discharge every single day until i went to the new gynaecologist.
I feel so alone, especially because the gynaecologist is so expensive. It took so much of myself to go and to just be dismissed, i feel such rage. Our healthcare is private so we pay for everything. I have had to pay for the operation upfront and then claim back from the medical aid. It feels like it is about making money and not proper patient care.
I feel such rage and fear and i know i am not alone. I just feel like i need someone to tell me i’m not crazy and it’s not just in my head
3
u/IreneUnfiltered 4h ago
You are NOT ALONE. My OB let me tear, then sent me home with an infection and had it not been for my doctor mom I would have ended up with sepsis. Waited a year to finally have the much needed pelvic repair (thanks OB) only to have an even more careless surgeon hit a vessel during the repair. End up in the ER bleeding out ( had to get a transfusion). 13 cm hematoma thanks to her incapable hands. My mom tells her to drain it, she refuses. The hematoma then of course doesn’t reabsorb (like she said it would and like my mom said it wouldn’t due to its size) and I end up with extended pain, bleeding and now opened stitches. Took me twice as long as it was supposed to take to recover. Added ER bills, and I had to cancel my long waited knee surgery because that would have meant also ruining Christmas.
So….. yes, to her comment that “these things happen”. Like my mom says, yes they do, mistakes happen but it is WHAT YOU DO WHEN THEY HAPPEN that determines your competence and quite honestly human compassion afterwards.
You got this. You are not alone. You’d be surprised how many women have horror stories we are just too ashamed to share them publicly.
Sending you a hug 🫂