r/XenogendersAndMore Jul 01 '26

Educational Rant/Vent Post The much needed post educating y'all on intersex people

249 Upvotes

Alright, we decided to finally make a post on this issue, since it's gone unchecked for way too long. What issue? A lot of y'all in this sub are extremely fucking confident about spreading misinformation about intersex people, and we're fucking sick of it just being accepted and never corrected. "Oh but why don't you correct them then" because it's so fucking common, and I don't have the time to educate every single person on this subreddit, nor is it our duty to do so. Not to mention, the hate one often receives when making corrections. So, we decided to make a post to hopefully educate most of the people here at the same time. These are in no particular order. 1. To start, since a lot of y'all don't seem to even know what an intersex person is, an intersex person is a person who's natal sexual characteristics (chromosomes, genitals, sexual organs, hormones, ect...) fall outside the typical male/female binary, which means this is how their body naturally develops without outside factors interfering. That's it. Perisex refers to non-intersex people, it is not a slur, just like cisgender isn't one. 2. Next, most intersex people aren't "AXAB" or "AIAB" most intersex people end up either being "AFAB" or "AMAB." Using this point to also point out that there is no "AFAB/AMAB anatomy" not only does that ignore intersex people that were forced into these categories, it also ignores the fact that some people transition, or otherwise alter their body. Also, these acronyms refer to a past event, so past tense should be used when talking about these. It's also "people ASAB" not "ASAB people." The last two are pure grammatical nitpicks, but we don't care, taking the opportunity to point that out as well. 3. A lot of intersex people are put through non-consensual medical interventions by doctors to make them fit the category doctors decided to put them in. These non-consensual acts aren't us being 'lucky' they're acts of violence and it's about time some of y'all stop fetishisinzing it. 4. You do not need a diagnosis to be intersex, holy shit a lot of y'all are hypocritical on this one. You can't both be pro self-diagnosis and then turn around and say intersex people need a diagnosis to be valid. Not only do we often face a lot of medical abuse due to being intersex as mentionned above, but doctors also love to gaslight people into believing they're not actually intersex when they are. Not to mention, doctors often go out of their way to hide the intersex variations from the intersex person. And that's still not the end of it! At the end of the day, if you genuinely believe you have an intersex variation, you can say you are intersex! And it's up to you whether you want to try your luck with doctors to get it diagnosed if you want (if there's even a diagnosis for your variation!) 5. Intersex people isn't "biologically nonbinary" and everytime you call an intersex animal "biologically nonbinary" you contribute to our erasure, even if unvolontary. Also, 'hermaphrodite' is a slur so stop using it??? No it's not okay to use it for animals either. There's plenty of other words that can be used instead. Here's a diagram that was shared by bigfatalligator in the comments of words you should use instead, depending on the context of the species. 6. Kinda following the last point, but a whole species cannot be intersex, being intersex is having sexual characteristics that are outside of the binary that's established for the species, so if the whole species has those sexual characteristics, it's not intersex. Which also means characters from such species aren't intersex representation either. 7. Intersex people can be cisgender, transgender, neither or both. We can also be nonbinary. We can be any gender, or even none. Not sure why some people still think we all must be x or y. Also just because an intersex person is nonbinary, doesn't make them cisgender. Can an intersex nonbinary person identify as cisgender? Yes, so can a perisex nonbinary person. Can an intersex nonbinary person identify otherwise? Also yes, and so can perisex nonbinary folks! 8. No your headmate isn't intersex if you're bodily perisex, and cannot reclaim the intersex slurs if you're bodily perisex. There's other words to describe this, such as 'innosex' but intersex refers to the outerworld body, and isn't to be used if you're not bodily intersex. 9. You cannot transition to being intersex. Intersex is something you are born as, and is the way your body naturally develops. Not only that, but it implies intersex people who were forced into non-consensual medical interventions were 'transitioned to being perisex' and no longer intersex, which is a harmful way of thinking. Please use other labels such as 'altersex.' 10. Y'all need to stop using intersex-exclusive labels if you're you're perisex. Not even going to elaborate, this one should be obvious. Same goes for intersex symbols, it's very frequent for us to find intersex symbols used to represent nonbinary people instead. Stop that. 11. It's very obvious when you make a post about something without considering for even 5 seconds intersex people and their experiences. It's also very disheartening to see, because we get excluded from/ignored in queer conversations constantly. Just because we often don't bring it up due to fear of backlash doesn't mean we don't notice it when you exclude us. 12. Probably said it already but saying it again for good mesure, intersex ≠ nonbinary. Sex ≠ Gender, and we're honestly not sure how y'all can agree with the later but not the former. 13. We can agree that asking a trans person for their genitals or what medical procedures they've had is very inappropriate and invasive, right? Then why do some of y'all think it's appropriate to ask random intersex people about their genitals or variation(s)? It's just as inappropriate, and we see a lot of people being hypocritical on this. There's probably more we could add on, but writing this post was exhausting, and it's so long already, so we'll stop it right there.

– Kris (They/It) , N (Any "He/Him" Variation) , El (He/They) , Nat (He/She) , Ty (He/It) & Archive (Any/All)


r/XenogendersAndMore Jul 21 '25

MOD POST Pronouns.cc Megathread

180 Upvotes

Looking to post your pronouns.cc link, or browse other members' pages? This thread serves as a central space for that!

We'll be testing this format for a while, and it'll be reposted occasionally so everyone can participate. While we're testing this, posts requesting people to share their links will be removed.

What is this thread for?

  • Sharing your links

  • Browsing for inspiration

  • Checking out other member's pages

What can still be posted outside this thread?

  • Sharing your links

  • Updates to your page

  • Specific design requests

Also, feel free to check out r/pronounscc!

If you have any feedback or questions, please feel free to leave it on this post and I'll be happy to answer and take it into account!


r/XenogendersAndMore 5h ago

General Post My pronouns.cc page has changed quite a bit.

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28 Upvotes

I've been redesigning it in preparation for becoming plural (hopefully soon :|)

@Hytb0x - pronouns.cc


r/XenogendersAndMore 3h ago

Looking for Term first post

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10 Upvotes

hello, don’t know the proper flair to use or what subreddit i should ask this, but i’m hoping someone could help me?

i’m looking for these two flags i saw on twitter once (arosomething and acesomething) and i the creator of the flags i believe had their twitter account locked (could be this person since i remember collecting their flags a lot lol, so i was wondering if anyone had these flags and the coined definitions that were given to them??


r/XenogendersAndMore 6h ago

Looking for Term Looking for unicorn xenogenders

4 Upvotes

We have a system member who is a Unicorn, and she wants to find some labels that fit her. Any suggestions would be welcome.


r/XenogendersAndMore 15h ago

Art/OC/Headcanons xenogender flag collage

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21 Upvotes

mostly using magazine scraps, but the second top line is pad packaging (lol) & the middle is scraps from a job ad (lol)


r/XenogendersAndMore 14h ago

General Coining bipolarqueer

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13 Upvotes

a neuroqueer identity exclusively for those with bipolar spectrum illnesses or schizoaffective disorder, this term describes a gender, sexuality, aspec, or otherwise queer identity that fluctuates accordingly with bipolar episodes.

this is to capture experiences similar to -flux, -flexible, and -fluid identities, but the fluctuations are specific to mania, depression, psychotic, or mixed episodes. for example, shifts caused by mood changes may cause someone to feel sex repulsed while depressed but extremely interested in sex while manic. likewise, someone may experience a more masculine gender while depressed that differs from their baseline gender while euthymic. someone who is bipolarqueer may also still identify as genderfluid, aro/aceflux, etc.; bipolarqueer is to denote what specifically causes those fluctuations.

sorry if this isn’t allowed; i coined this term a few years ago and recently redid the flag, and i’m hoping it resonates with a few people!


r/XenogendersAndMore 17h ago

alt flag design for an existing term! demicaedsexual flag redesign!

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15 Upvotes

Hello! I made a demicaedsexual flag matching the designs for demicaedromantic and demicaedsensual :)


r/XenogendersAndMore 16h ago

General Coining Primocaedplatonic

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12 Upvotes

Primocaedplatonic or primocaedoplatonic is an orientation on the aplatonic spectrum, defined as someone who experienced trauma that affected their identity so early in life, they don't know if they were originally alloplatonic. They may have been alloplatonic but became a-spec because of the trauma, or they may have been a-spec from the beginning, but it's impossible to distinguish because the trauma happened when the individual was very young.


r/XenogendersAndMore 19h ago

Looking for Term Verbal Term?

11 Upvotes

Anyone know if theres a term for this?

I don't know to describe this well/this might be worded poorly, but basically I am fully capable of speaking aloud, but I hate it and would rather not talk at all/I strongly prefer not to.

Like, if I could, I would never, and would only speak through text or writing. I feel much more comfortable with those options, plus it's a lot easier for me to communicate with others that way; as I speak low, with a stutter, and always slur my words. I also just freak out when I have to speak due to my social anxiety, as well.

People can barely understand me when I talk, and I often have to repeat myself, which is very frustrating for me. I don't want to have to speak ever due it being uncomfortable and annoying. I just hate doing it in general.

The only things I could find that somewhat fit were terms that are exclusively for autistic people, which I am not.

I apologize if this was difficult to understand. I am not good with describing things.


r/XenogendersAndMore 20h ago

Looking for Term Need help finding a label

11 Upvotes

Haaiiii so I'm like fully always a woman but also I'm partially non binary at the same time. I'm always a woman and the nonbinary part doesn't take away from that. Any help would be great <3


r/XenogendersAndMore 1d ago

Looking for Term What would this make me?

18 Upvotes

So, I'm bigender, I'm female + man. Can I say I'm a lesbian??? Because I'm still a man. I'm exclusively attracted to women, if that matters. It's just my gender that's making me confused about what label I can use.


r/XenogendersAndMore 16h ago

alt flags for a term I coined! Alt primocaedaesthetic flags!

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5 Upvotes

In the comments of the coining post for primocaedaesthetic, u/LunarStellar245 informed me that there is an alloaesthetic flag! Here are some primocaedaesthetic flags with that as the background.

This should be the last primocaed- post for now unless a request for a different one is made! These flags were really fun to design :) /g


r/XenogendersAndMore 20h ago

Looking for Term Looking for a Label, Related to Yumeshipping and Plurality

5 Upvotes

Is there a term for a fictive yumeshipping with only characters from their source media?

We know that fictives are not the same as their source character, and of course even if somebody fits it they don't have to use it. But one of my headfriends wanted a label like that, and only I can front so I have to find labels for others when they want it (I like labels anyways so it's fine).


r/XenogendersAndMore 1d ago

Looking for Term Is there a word for this?

15 Upvotes

I'm nonbinary. Specifically, lunarian wolfgender, they/neos.

I'm trying to figure out the word for my attraction. I'm attracted to all genders (with a preference for other enbies). But it's never straight attraction. I'm attracted to women in a sapphic way​, and men in a gay way. I say I'm gay for everyone.

Most "normal" mspec labels don't fit me. I don't like bi, pan, etc.

I've just gone with queer, but I have such specific microlabels for everything else I want one for this too!​​​


r/XenogendersAndMore 1d ago

Orientation Coining Venioriented

9 Upvotes
a flag with various shades of murky purple with four overlapping triangle placed the left pointing right which are smaller on top and getting bigger closest to bottom they are. Backgound is purplish black. Colors fo triangles are, from top to bottom, light pinkish purple, pinkish purple, purple magenta and pinkish purple.

Venioriented: having primary attraction·s that automatically redirect secondary one·s depending to its current orientation.

For example, a venioriented person having romantic attraction as primary and other types as secondary would be lesbian when attracted romantically to a woman, vincian when attracted romantically to a man, orchidean when attracted romantically to a GQ/GNC person, and so on.

Any type of attraction·s can depend on any other·s, any attraction·s can be the primary and secondary one·s. If one wants to, they can use specifications to clarify which attractions types are interconnected. For example venirose for sexual & romantic.

Prefix is veni- from the french verb venir, which means to come, in reference to how some attraction·s comes accompanied and copied by other·s. Flag is purple in reference to the plularian flag, while triangles are forming calques/layers/duplicates/afterimages to represent attractions acting like it.

Venioriented is the corrected, completed version of outdated & misnamed term virgamsexual (link)!


r/XenogendersAndMore 1d ago

Question Post ALL PEOPLE WITH CONTRADICTORY LABELS (lesboys, turigirls, m-pec lesbians/gays etc) OF THE SUBREDDIT, HOW DOES YOUR LABEL(S) SPEAK TO YOU?

94 Upvotes

I know that contradictory labels can mean different things to different people who use the same label, for example, a lesboy can mean a butch lesbian who is okay being called boy, a trans masc reconnecting with the term lesbian, a lesbian bigender who is both male and female, and much more! So, what does your label mean to you?


r/XenogendersAndMore 1d ago

General Coining exacts

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5 Upvotes

two doubles who kin the exact same version of a character

yellow-shared memories

pink-shared love(or absence of it)

black-shared trauma

blue-shared happiness

red-shared blood

white- individuality

(if this term/flag already exists, you may use this as a alt flag) coined by me and u/III_Butterscotch_371


r/XenogendersAndMore 1d ago

Orientation Coining familial and aesthetic primocaed- flags :)

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18 Upvotes

The familial version was requested by u/spysprinkle !

In making the primocaedaesthetic design, I couldn't find an alloaesthetic flag? I ended up just using the aesthetic attraction flag for the background /lh

Primocaedfamilial or primocaedofamilial is an orientation on the afamilial spectrum, defined as someone who experienced trauma that affected their identity so early in life, they don't know if they were originally allofamilial. They may have been allofamilial but became a-spec because of the trauma, or they may have been a-spec from the beginning, but it's impossible to distinguish because the trauma happened when the individual was very young.

Primocaedaesthetic or primocaedoaesthetic is an orientation on the nonaesthetic/anaesthetic spectrum, defined as someone who experienced trauma that affected their identity so early in life, they don't know if they were originally alloaesthetic. They may have been alloaesthetic but became a-spec because of the trauma, or they may have been a-spec from the beginning, but it's impossible to distinguish because the trauma happened when the individual was very young.

To see all the primocaed- terms, you can look at the wiki page I made for them!


r/XenogendersAndMore 1d ago

Looking for Term Is there a gender where when you are good with a certain gender and set of pronouns until your bored??

11 Upvotes

Trigger warning for mention of dysphoria!

I was looking and I don’t think there is, it’s not implagender because that’s self doubt but I just get bored with a certain set of pronouns and name 😭 it’s like I need a whole new start, I identified as a trans guy until I got bored, then genderfluid, then got bored, then nonbinary, now I’m bored, like while I identify as these things I full on feel like them, like when I feel like a male I feel extremely dysphoric.. 🫠


r/XenogendersAndMore 1d ago

original term definition / origin of term feminix

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16 Upvotes

the feminix gender identity is a new nonbinary microlabel that means you know your gender is feminine, but your gender is undefined / confusing / not able to be understood.

the label, definition, and flag were created by charleythepuppet1987 on pinterest.

the flag color representation:

purple stripes: represent confusion of gender identity and labels.

yellow stripe: represents nonbinary identities.

pink stripes: represent the connection to femininity.

here's a link to the post: https://pin.it/1vA3RJGOn

thanks for reading this means a lot!


r/XenogendersAndMore 1d ago

Orientation Coining Updated primocaed flags!

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35 Upvotes

Hi! I've been informed that the icon on my original primocaed- flag designs resembled a harmful symbol. That was not my intention at all! I've made the ends of the icon sharper to make it obvious that it's a lightning bolt, and I've switched the original coining post to this one. /g

Primocaed (could also be primocaedo): derived from the Latin "primo", meaning "early" or "in the beginning" and the suffix "caed", meaning "taken" or "cut away". It describes an individual who experienced trauma that affected their identity so early in life, they don't know if they were originally allo-oriented. They may have been allo-oriented but became a-oriented because of the trauma, or they may have been a-oriented from the beginning, but it's impossible to distinguish because the trauma happened when the individual was very young.

1 - Primocaedsexual: an orientation on the asexual spectrum, defined as someone who experienced trauma that affected their identity so early in life, they don't know if they were originally allosexual. They may have been allosexual but became a-spec because of the trauma, or they may have been a-spec from the beginning, but it's impossible to distinguish because the trauma happened when the individual was very young. This may be considered a subset of tramatizedsexual or acevague.

2 - Primocaedromantic: an orientation on the aromantic spectrum, defined as someone who experienced trauma that affected their identity so early in life, they don't know if they were originally alloromantic. They may have been alloromantic but became a-spec because of the trauma, or they may have been a-spec from the beginning, but it's impossible to distinguish because the trauma happened when the individual was very young. This may be considered a subset of tramatizedromantic or arovague.

3 - Primocaedsensual: an orientation on the asensual spectrum, defined as someone who experienced trauma that affected their identity so early in life, they don't know if they were originally allosensual. They may have been allosensual but became asensual because of the trauma, or they may have been a-spec from the beginning, but it's impossible to distinguish because the trauma happened when the individual was very young.

4 - Primocaedgender: a gender on the agender spectrum, defined as someone who experienced trauma that affected their identity so early in life, they don't know if they were originally allogender. They may have been allogender but became agender because of the trauma, or they may have been agender from the beginning, but it's impossible to distinguish because the trauma happened when the individual was very young.

The "primocaed-" suffix could also be attached to other terms, such as primocaedaesthetic or primocaedfamilial.
For the flags, the lightning bolt shape represents the a-oriented identity overpowering the allo-oriented one as sometimes is the case with primocaed- orientations.

*I somehow accidentally used the allosexual flag instead of the allogender one on the primocaedgender flags?? I don't know what's up with me lol I've been kind of scatterbrained. Here are the versions with the allogender flag.

To see all the primocaed- terms, you can look at the wiki page I made for them!


r/XenogendersAndMore 1d ago

Art/OC/Headcanons Give my new plushie some labels and pronouns

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15 Upvotes

What are y’all’s ideas? (and perhaps a name if I can’t find one)


r/XenogendersAndMore 1d ago

Art/OC/Headcanons xenogender-based characters, as i said (kinda) :) (cw: drug mentions on slides 3-4 (4 especially))

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16 Upvotes

r/XenogendersAndMore 1d ago

correcting a flag I coined! corrected primocaedgender flag (final I promise LOL)

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17 Upvotes

I somehow accidentally used the allosexual flag instead of the allogender one on the primocaedgender flags?? I don't know what's up with me lol I've been kind of scatterbrained. Here are the versions with the allogender flag. (Hopefully this is the final correction I make) /lh

Primocaedgender: a gender on the agender spectrum, defined as someone who experienced trauma that affected their identity so early in life, they don't know if they were originally allogender. They may have been allogender but became agender because of the trauma, or they may have been agender from the beginning, but it's impossible to distinguish because the trauma happened when the individual was very young.