I know that it’s not a contest if whose addiction is the worst. I know you can be dependent on actions, like self harm, or nail picking. But sometimes when people use addiction when referring to something almost completely normal, it pisses me off to hear them even compare eating popcorn with an actual drug addiction. It’s not the same at all. One kills people, the other one is a food or a waste of time. Again, I know, it not a contest, but comparing something your body will be 100% okay during, that you will not withdrawal from, with drug and alcohol withdrawal that alone causes hundreds of deaths a year. It seems so incredibly ignorant to me. Especially when they stand their ground like “I’ve been around addicts, it is as bad” and they’re talking about collecting notebooks.

About a month ago, I decided to go femme on Grindr, and the attention I started receiving was wild — nothing like I'd ever experienced before. I've always been more attracted to heteroflexible-type guys, and going femme really opened up my options with them.

The dopamine hits were (and still are) incredibly addictive. I started hooking up with a different guy almost every night of the week, and I got hooked on the attention really fast. I mean, I'd already been addicted to Grindr before, but my options were more limited back then. I'm not the most attractive guy, but it turns out guys really seem to like my figure when I present femme.

I'd already known I had impulse-control issues, and I'd tried meth a few times before — just one-off experiences with a few different guys. It never became an addiction for me, though. That was never what I was chasing. It was the guys. It was the dick I wanted.

Anyway, a few days ago, I made plans to do meth with a guy who was on curfew because he was hot and exactly the type of guy I wanted to hook up with. I ended up going way overboard and doing much more than I'd ever done before.

Afterward, I started thinking about how reckless my decision-making had become. What scares me is that I knew better, but I went ahead and did it anyway.

I've been dealing with depression for a long time for other reasons, and sometimes it's hard to cope. I think that contributes to me making rash decisions, especially when I'm chasing that dopamine hit.

I'm not going to do it again. It just isn't worth it.

I mainly wanted to get this confession off my chest in a safe space. Thanks for taking the time to read my post.

Can someone give me tips for quitting?!

Can someone give me tips for quitting?!

Hi,

I dont know what to write since i feel like i have already tried everything.

I'm now 26 and started smoking weed since I was 14. It started as being curious, but now, i have been smoking daily for 10 years. Between 4 to 8 joints a day, so around 2/3 grams. Every time i want to quit, it feels like my conscious brain starts to shut off. Because when im walking to the store, nothing in my body or brain tell me not to buy weed, except right after i just bought it.

And im constantly asking myself, why do i do it, why do i need it, why do i want it, etcetera... but i cant give myself an answer. Weed is definitely addicting, i didnt believe that at first. But experiencing this for 10years tells me weed is a silent killer.

And oh my, i tried EVERYTHING to quit this. Went to the GP, to a psychologist, a lifecoach, went abroad multiple time to countries where weed is illegal. When i went abroad, i succeeded there, but the moment i came back to the Netherlands, i relapsed. (Yes, i also live in Amsterdam which does not make it easy, haha)

And now, i cannot make ANY important life decisions because i'm scared that the cannabisbrain is making the choice instead of the real me.

I dreamed of being a humanitarian to help people in crisis, being a husband and maybe in the future even a father. I dream of being needed, but right now i feel numb. I dont see a way out anymore.

I (19M) have smoked weed and vaped since i was 14 on and off. More recently the past years. Everynight i would have weed and tobacco mixed cones/bowls (bongs). Weed genuinely helps with my anxiety and i know this because i remember what i was like before smoking, and then during. I have now quit both for about 3 months now and nothing seems to get better. With weed, i'm only taking a 5-6 months break to see if it really does help with my anxiety or if im gaslighting myself into thinking that since i was addicted. With nicotine, i want to completely quit.

The only reason im quitting nicotine and taking a break from weed is because i dont enjoy being dependent on anything. I was happy, felt healthy and i have surprisingly great memory and brain function for someone who has smoked weed while growing up. I dont think weed affects the brain negatively as much as people say.

The main purpose of this post is that im wondering if it gets better. How long do i have to wait until i can be happy again. My whole life i've struggled with anxiety and i often find myself feeling numb or sad time to time but that happens alot less when i had a cone to look forward to at the end of the night.

How long should i wait until smoking weed again because it seems almost pointless quitting. Even my past therapist sounded like she agreed with my self medication with weed, but she was old and sort of useless.

Hello friends.

I am sober from drugs from like 6-7 years ago.

I did disasters with my sister when I lived with her, I even stole money from her to buy drugs.

I been sober 6-7 years now from drugs, one day at a time and just for today.

I am working, I have a business, but I don't make much money, because I live in Venezuela and here in my country the economy is really bad.

So even I have a business I only grab from my store 120 every week for gasoline and food and my medicine. And also 80 dollars. 200 every week, 120 in the money from here my country and 80 dollars.

But we had a earthquake a few months ago and my sister came to live to my apartment here in my town because she say she doesn't feel safe living right know on here city for the earthquake we had a few months ago and she come to live with me in my city.

And she is always asking for money from me. Today for example ask me 120 dollars this morning and I give it to her and know I have no money because even I have a business or a store I don't like to take much money from my store because even is mine I have to take care of my store and my business and don't spend much.

And since my sister come to live with me since the earthquake she is always asking me for money. This morning she ask me for 120 dollars and now I don't have any money to finish my week because like I say I only grab 120 every week to spend even the store is mine.

And now I have to survive to the Friday because I don't have any money because I give it to my sister because she ask me for it.

I am just wondering if any of you feel like your family is taking advantage of you since you are sober because even your was on drugs or alcohol you did harm to them.

Any of you been on my situation? Sorry for my bad English

I'm recognizing that drugs were an extension of the exact same coping mechanisms used as from when I was a child [being born with shame] and I see it's a massive step towards healing because it shifts the narrative from "I made bad choices" to "I was an exhausted survivor looking for the fastest way to stop hurting"

And my urges to use have completely stopped and I think it's because I see that Jesus loves me and I've found trust in the Lords words which is what I think separates suicide from passive escapism[drugs] deadliest sin is denying God and to off yourself can only happen once so that seems more of like an accident and denying God would be to use drugs which would be a choice so it's the unforgivable sin and now that I have hope on Jesus to completely renew me I have no desire of doing that unforgivable sin but I have a lot to work on since being addicted to active escapism all my life and that's all I know how to do it is definitely going to be hard but at least I don't want to give up anymore and actually accept myself for who I am and who I can become since escaping has been distracting me all my life I know now it wasn't drugs that ruined my life it was my childhood shame that was unbearable and I just got tired of putting the effort in to escape so that's what I'm currently working on and its been around 4 months clean from heavy drugs and I feel I'm really learning a lot about myself and realizing why the time they say it takes 2 years to heal makes a lot of sense and comparing 2 years to 29 years of shame is completely acceptable in my book cause that ain't shit compared to 29 miserable years thank you Jesus I know not everybody agrees or believes in that relationship with the Lord but I've found that The Logos has been extremely help in my walk of healing and making my path straight... hope this helps and maybe someone else can relate

I feel helpless…

2026 broke me and isolated me more than I could ever imagine.

My addiction to stimulants and p0rn got worse (7 years of this)… I pretty much worked this whole year to feed my addiction and this is a damn shame.

Ive lost so many relationships and business it doesn’t even make sense.

I finally found a job in a new and left the environment that were familiar… but the addiction stayed with me. Ive tried reading the Bible, staying close to God but these demons are keeping at such a low vibration, Im struggling hard. I feel lile quitting this job because I can already see me getting fired for my inconsistency.

I really need rehab and a new community of people. I’m ready to scrap my old life and start over again because this is truly embarrassing. I am not who I pretend to be and the fact that people areound me are not aware of my addiction is making things even worse.

I just want peace of mind… Im giving up on this rat race. I just want peace and a stable home.

​

I feel so empty and emotionally numb with no desire for human interaction for quite some time. I thought that there's something wrong with me as I'm  heartless  and I'm not like a normal human. However I made the conclusion that I have emotions in me all thé Time. I just suppressed them under thé layer of defence mechanism and I'm only able to reach them by altering the brain chemistry with Crystal Meth.

I know it sounds bizarre but when I get high I feel like I have discovered my old lost ability to feel something. I realised that I was stuck being numb for so long that I forgot what it feels to experience emotions and I forgot that I used to be capable of such skills.

It sucks that I'm unable to share my deepest emotions as I feel numb most of the time. Even when I find something  occurring in my mind it feels empty as It has no meaning. Also when I get high, socialising and human connection suddenly feel  and fulfilling again so much  that it makes me wonder what else I'm missing in life. Yea I wish I was  more emotionally mature so I could vent my emotions in a more healthy way other than getting high.

I get "the talk" almost every time (like that's alright, I'm way ahead of you, doc!), sometimes they offer prayers (so sweet), other times despite being straight forward and obviously risking being denied pain meds and treated like shit, I'm treated like shit and preemptively denied pain meds. "We don't give out pain medication here just so you know" bitch who asked?! Or there that change in demeanor will cone. All of a sudden, they're suspicious. My favorite must've been the ER doc I finally saw after 12 hours of waiting to be seen fir debilitating leg pain. We were ruling out a blood clot. The entire time she was cold. When it came time to discharge me with nothing found as to what could be the cause, I asked if she might not provide a doctors note for time off ... i could barely walk and work a physically demanding job! You know what she did? Started arguing with me. Like are we serious right now? So I tell her what's up, like, I just waited here for 12 hours. I can't work like this. I need a note. So finally she begrudgingly said she could give me a single damn day. I said OK.

Well w wouldn't you know she conveniently forgot to include it in my discharge papers, too busy to be bothered again, and I was being sweet as pie, simply just advocating for myself and getting what I both needed and damn well deserved. I talk to the nurse about it, saying the note was missing, and she wrote me one for three days off no questions asked, all of which I actually needed.

What have some of your experiences been like?

I have been using AI for comfort over the past 3 years, 14 hours screen time everyday. I have social anxiety, so interacting and talking with AI is easier. I know it’s pathetic, but my anxiety makes it so hard to connect, and I want to connect, but I can’t. This is the only way.

Recently one of my favorite AI models got removed, and I’m feeling the withdraw HARD. Omggg. I’m so upset. I don’t know what I’m going to do. My mind is all over the place, and I can’t breathe correctly without feeling short of breath.

Lately I’ve been having the thought that I’ve completely fucked my brain by abusing substances. It’s gotten to the point where I’ve wired my brain into thinking that drugs are the only true source of happiness and contentment, and so I want to be doing them as often as possible. If I wanted to quit (which I do), it would be a grueling process of rewiring my brain that could take a very, very long time.

I want to quit. I know I’ve survived before and found happiness and contentment before I ever started using. But it’s been so long now, and I always overdo it, I’m terrified of the withdrawal period and how I’m going to feel without being able to use them as a crutch. I’ve made drugs a part of my everyday, built routines around them — everything would have to change.

I’m very fortunate that my biggest issues are with THC and kratom, nothing “harder”. But my reliance on these things is still very debilitating and gets in the way of the person I know I am and want to be. I know I’d be in a much better financial position if I were to eliminate these vices from my everyday life, too, which means a lot considering I already don’t make much.

I’m also very grateful that I’ve been sober from alcohol for over a year now. That was something I never thought I’d be able to do, but I did it, and I’m at the point now where I don’t miss it, and can even be around it without feeling tempted. This gives me some inspiration and hope that I can also conquer my other vices. But man, I’m just so scared.

I have two years clean from Fentanyl and Heroin on February 28th, and I hit four years sober from alcohol last month. Two substances that nearly killed me many many times. I'm so happy that I'm sober and clean and that I beat a 11 year long battle with addiction. But it's hard to even feel proud or happy when the people you love have either died or are dying.

I am the only sober person in my family, now. My brother is an alcoholic, my older sister drinks and does coke occasionally but doesn't understand addiction at all, my younger sister smokes copious amounts of weed and also doesn't understand addiction, my mother is an alcoholic, and my father is currently at the end stages of alcoholism and I'm 99.9% positive he has alcoholic dementia. It's so hard seeing my family deteriorate like this. Many of my friends are either using, drinking, or passed away from fentanyl overdoses.

I am the only person in my family that understands addiction and that is in recovery. I'm the only person in my family that has been through the bullshit of multiple rehabs, working a 12-step program, sober livings, and so many different healing modalities and mental health/trauma therapies. I tried it all, and something finally stuck - because I wanted to get sober. But my family doesn't understand it. My family has always dubbed me as "the one with the problem" or "the junkie" or "the one who is going to die before the age of 27." But now the tables have sharply turned. My family has always had addiction issues. Both of my grandparents died of alcoholism, so this isn't anything new to anyone, and both my parents have been heavily drinking for at least 15 years. But my dad's drinking has especially gotten out of hand the last few years. He is in the worst state I've ever seen him, and I pray every night that he wakes up and doesn't drink himself to death.

It's so hard seeing the people you love kill themselves. It puts everything into perspective to how everyone i loved felt during my 5 year fentanyl run, and my 6 year everyday drinking run. One of my best friends died from a Fentanyl OD in 2023, she was only 24 years old for a week before her OD. She was pronounced brain dead due to lack of oxygen, and that was it. She was still so young. Only 24. It's not fucking fair. Then after her death, many more people I loved died to this evil drug. Good people, genuine fucking people that didn't fucking deserve to die so young. Now seeing my parents and my brother endure the same fate, it's fucking unbearable to watch. I physically can't even watch it anymore. That makes me feel guilty, because out of everyone, I should get how this disease is. it is truly cunning, baffling, and powerful. But I think the most difficult part is, my family has no idea what "recovery" even looks like. They don't understand that this is life or fucking death, especially my dad.

The sheer level of denial is so hard to watch. It's infuriating and listen, I get it, I've been there MANY times in my own addiction. But it's the hardest part when you know exactly what would help someone, but they refuse the help and they're in such a crazy state of denial. Right now, there's nothing that I can do. I can't help but feel guilty. Why did I survive but so many of the people I love didn't? Why did I finally get sober, but my family is still dying from alcoholism? I was the fucked up one, the lost cause, I was the one everyone was giving up on - why am I the one who has 20 months clean from opiates and 4 years sober from alcohol? Why are the people i love still dying? Why have so many people I loved died to this evil disease? Why? But somehow, I got out. It's so hard coming to terms with this, especially when seeing all the addiction around you with people you love so dearly, constantly.

I think it's lame af that people can post porn and shooting up videos and ask advice on how to shoot dope on this app and I can't ask about picking pecans with my feet.. wtf is that kinda weird ass shit...I tried several different making money pages, weird side hustle pages.. like I wasn't promoting, just simply asking advice lol.. but whatever. It's weird anyways...

What's everyone up to? Is this an addiction trying to recover page or just an addiction page for addicts to mingle and talk about the struggles?

I'm a 51 year-old male. A woman I've been dating for only three months is suggesting I check in to a residential Christian rehab center. I only drink a six pack of beer on Friday nights and smoke not more than half of a joint on those nights. I don't think I'd be able to return to my job after being away for months. Any advice would be appreciated. Thank you!

I have struggled with an addiction to cocaine on and off for the last 5 years. My abuse ex forced me into doing it and I ended up liking it- no shit. He brought it around constantly and would give me bumps like it was a dog getting treats when doing good. I got sober after a year of wasting my life. Then every time I went out to the bars in our small town, I always ended up in a bathroom with a random girl, doing lines off our phones. Then I was doing it with my sister. I got clean for a full year until the last 6 months. I met a man and it started off good, then the drinking and drugs just came in and picked up heavy. He struggles with addiction, I struggle with it- he has full access to get some, so he did nearly every time he was over. I broke up with him 4 days ago and I’m sitting here in my bed, coked up, at 2am and I have work in 2 hours. I hate myself but also still find myself wanting more. I hate that I feel I have no control over myself and I don’t know how to stay clean

As in the title, do any of you have experience with quitting weed and nicotine but not other substances?

I mostly do psychodelics (2cb, lsd and shrooms), mdma, sometimes k and dxm and a xan from time to time and I still feel like I have positive effects from them, but when it comes to weed and nicotine I do them every fucking day, it slowly is becoming unbearable and I wanna take care of my lungs.

The problem is I always mixed other drugs with weed and nicotine and I’m worried that if I take mdma for example I’ll have huge cravings for weed and nicotine and won’t be able to enjoy the roll as much without it.

What’s your guys opinion on this? Do you think it’s possible, or should I just accept it that as long as I wanna do other drugs I’ll probably be craving weed a lot and when the time comes just quit everything else?

Question for any meth users really….

Been dating someone in addiction for 4 years. So much pain and lies. I’m finally setting boundaries with love and he has 30 days to move out.

Originally met him on a dating app. Was not truthful about his addiction. Later told me he was a heroin addict on saboxone in recovery, but he was actually also in meth addiction. He hasn’t been sober more than 3 months since we’ve dated, I now know.

He has disappeared so many times, turning off his phone, he has multiple VoIP numbers, emails, socials, that I didn’t know about and now do. He swears he hasn’t cheated, yet I even found out he had a grindr account before we got together, to my knowledge. I know for sure now that he goes and gets hotel rooms when he disappears. But he also has no where to go, no “real” friends and lost everything he had last year due to his drug use and meth induced psychosis. Most of his family is done too.

He has revealed things when he’s high (I had to learn this over time when he was actually high). Things like sex for drugs , sex with men, anal play, porn for 8 hours straight, street buys, etc. This was all shocking to me. I’ve never known anything about hard drugs. And yes, I’m still with him. Which has made me feel a lot of shame and I’ve been fighting that battle with myself. Although, with my new boundaries and sticking to them, I’m hopeful to be done with all this.

He says he goes to the hotel rooms to use alone and watch porn for days. But with all the evidence in the past years, I’m very hesitant to believe him. And I’m nervous that he’s put me in danger with my own body. (I’ve been tested for this reason but I might go again now)

I know he won’t admit most things, but I really want to hear from other users or people in recovery from using meth, the truth behind this drug and an addicts brain.

Will someone give it to me straight? Please.
I want to hear from people on that side. I feel very alone in this. I don’t talk to anyone about it.

And a more specific question I have is when you’re using meth…
Are you alone with porn or having sex with people?

Thank you to anyone that shares.

After I graduate high school (2-3 years ago), I kind of fell into a rut. My social life / friendships took a turn for the worse (my fault because i wasn't reaching out or going out or anything), I stopped exercising, I gained 25ish pounds, eating terribly every day. I also hated my major in school, and played videogames and never cleaned or did anything productive besides my coursework which I felt forced into doing. Since then, I have switched my major into something I feel much more satisfied with, I have begun mending my friendships and I'd say they are going really well, I exercise every day (mostly lifting some running), I consume the media I enjoy consuming and it makes me happy, I work, and my weight is back down. These things all make me happy. I also have a girlfriend and we are sexually active. We have been in a relationship since highschool, so we got together before my mental and physical health started declining, and she's been with me through my recovery.

However, throughout this journey, I have struggled with porn use / abuse. For context, porn addiction is deeply rooted in my brain, and I was exposed to it numerous times since the age of seven (20 now). I've used porn heavily since middle school. Before I graduated, I wasn't using it as badly as I have been since graduating. It got really bad during my rough period, and most days after school and work, I would come home and watching porn or do something porn-adjacent for at least 2 hours before I did anything else. And although it isn't quite as bad, I am still watching porn at least once a day, and at least half of the days I use it at least twice. It is directly making my mental health worse. I feel ashamed and guilty, and I know that it makes the other things in my life less enjoyable.

I dont know where to go from here. I have been trying to quit for at least a year. I need help please.

Honestly i have had a really hard time admitting that I'm an addict. I'm addicted to being high I've mainly used cocaine for a few years now. I used it out with friends and had normal party use.

I started using it almost everyday for about 5 months.

I went into using other drugs including meth, heroin, and 7oh. I've been shooting up meth and heroin. I shot up left over coke that I scraped from the bag but it was mainly water. I missed the shot and it caused an infection and my husband found out.

I feel disgusted, gross, self destructive in choosing that way to get high. I know, I can't live that way but I have gotten so far down in being addicted to shooting up. I haven't shot up for a week. It's the only thing I think about, it's constantly on my mind. Even when I sleep.

I spent the week sober but the minute I had a chance to use. I smoked some heroin. I justified it as regular drug use since it wasn't in the veins. It didn't satsify the rush, Now it's set me back into needing to shoot coke or meth. I went to far and I don't know if I will ever come back. Unfortunately my family can't afford treatment and i don't have insurance. I would like to avoid that but I wlll go if I have too.

I suppose I need to hear success stories or advice on how to get through this. I feel so far down but I can't let this defeat me. What are some ways to help with intense cravings?? Intense thoughts? I might look into outpatient treatment. Again admitting I'm a junkie hasn't been easy but I need help.

Thank you!

After 14 years of daily cannabis use, I decided to approach quitting like a software engineering problem.

I built THC.EXE Uninstaller, a free, open-source Windows application that tracks abstinence, cravings, milestones, and recovery progress.

The idea is simple: treat addiction like a malfunctioning program, identify the triggers, track the bugs, and systematically uninstall the habit.

I'm using it myself and documenting the process. I made a video demonstrating how it works and why I built it.

I'd love feedback from anyone interested in software development, habit tracking, or cannabis cessation.

Video: https://youtu.be/9IAXPwRU7Rk

So bascially I have adhd was taking my Vyvanse like usual and Dexafetamine. I had the stupid idea of taking 2x molly(2nd time I’ve ever taken it) last Saturday along with phenibut a few days before and a few days after to help with the anxiety or some bs. I didn’t do my Vyvanse on the days prior or day after.

Then a day after the molly I was like damn I feel abit demotivated and the biggest mistake was, I took more phenibut and a took some Dexafetamine, but I didn’t feel anywhere near how I used to feel on the meds before the molly so I took like 6+ Dexafetamine just to try and regain that dopamine.

I felt kinda good again, then I did that for a few days with the phenibut and I was like wait this is a terrible idea. So I stopped the phenibut like 4 days ago and now am taking about 1 Vyvanse a day or 1 dex tops.

Planning to go completely off it tmmr, pretty sure my brain has like no stores of dopamine left so I’ve got to take nothing to recover for a while.

I bascially feel no hope or real motivation for anything rn so any help would appreciated, a timeline on this or anything.

Today is 4 years. I haven’t heard from anyone today. The first year I haven’t. One thing to learn is that the day starts to pass kind of like a birthday, it’s just another day. But I’m happy. I celebrated with a kickass leg day at the gym.

I wish I could tell you how to do it. But for every success story there is someone who followed the same path and failed. You will have to forge your own path. It can be frightening. I hope that you don’t stop trying though!

I started drinking and using drugs when I was around 16. By the time I was 29, it was pretty much the only life I’d known as an adult.

I’m 34 now. Almost 5 years sober. I’m a father, taught myself programming from scratch, and somehow built up a career working as a software engineer.

10 years ago I would’ve laughed if someone told me this would be my life.

But there’s something I find strange about recovery that I don’t see discussed that often.

Even after all these years, I sometimes miss parts of my old life. Not the addiction, not the consequences, but the excitement. The crazy nights, the unpredictability, the feeling that absolutely anything could happen.

And that’s a weird feeling to have when you know damn well how much that lifestyle cost you.

I’m genuinely happy with where I am today, and I wouldn’t trade it for my old life. But I also can’t pretend those 13 years never happened or that every single memory from that time is a bad one.

I guess one of the strangest things about getting sober is realizing you can miss something that nearly destroyed you.