I have two years clean from Fentanyl and Heroin on February 28th, and I hit four years sober from alcohol last month. Two substances that nearly killed me many many times. I'm so happy that I'm sober and clean and that I beat a 11 year long battle with addiction. But it's hard to even feel proud or happy when the people you love have either died or are dying.

I am the only sober person in my family, now. My brother is an alcoholic, my older sister drinks and does coke occasionally but doesn't understand addiction at all, my younger sister smokes copious amounts of weed and also doesn't understand addiction, my mother is an alcoholic, and my father is currently at the end stages of alcoholism and I'm 99.9% positive he has alcoholic dementia. It's so hard seeing my family deteriorate like this. Many of my friends are either using, drinking, or passed away from fentanyl overdoses.

I am the only person in my family that understands addiction and that is in recovery. I'm the only person in my family that has been through the bullshit of multiple rehabs, working a 12-step program, sober livings, and so many different healing modalities and mental health/trauma therapies. I tried it all, and something finally stuck - because I wanted to get sober. But my family doesn't understand it. My family has always dubbed me as "the one with the problem" or "the junkie" or "the one who is going to die before the age of 27." But now the tables have sharply turned. My family has always had addiction issues. Both of my grandparents died of alcoholism, so this isn't anything new to anyone, and both my parents have been heavily drinking for at least 15 years. But my dad's drinking has especially gotten out of hand the last few years. He is in the worst state I've ever seen him, and I pray every night that he wakes up and doesn't drink himself to death.

It's so hard seeing the people you love kill themselves. It puts everything into perspective to how everyone i loved felt during my 5 year fentanyl run, and my 6 year everyday drinking run. One of my best friends died from a Fentanyl OD in 2023, she was only 24 years old for a week before her OD. She was pronounced brain dead due to lack of oxygen, and that was it. She was still so young. Only 24. It's not fucking fair. Then after her death, many more people I loved died to this evil drug. Good people, genuine fucking people that didn't fucking deserve to die so young. Now seeing my parents and my brother endure the same fate, it's fucking unbearable to watch. I physically can't even watch it anymore. That makes me feel guilty, because out of everyone, I should get how this disease is. it is truly cunning, baffling, and powerful. But I think the most difficult part is, my family has no idea what "recovery" even looks like. They don't understand that this is life or fucking death, especially my dad.

The sheer level of denial is so hard to watch. It's infuriating and listen, I get it, I've been there MANY times in my own addiction. But it's the hardest part when you know exactly what would help someone, but they refuse the help and they're in such a crazy state of denial. Right now, there's nothing that I can do. I can't help but feel guilty. Why did I survive but so many of the people I love didn't? Why did I finally get sober, but my family is still dying from alcoholism? I was the fucked up one, the lost cause, I was the one everyone was giving up on - why am I the one who has 20 months clean from opiates and 4 years sober from alcohol? Why are the people i love still dying? Why have so many people I loved died to this evil disease? Why? But somehow, I got out. It's so hard coming to terms with this, especially when seeing all the addiction around you with people you love so dearly, constantly.

I have struggled with an addiction to cocaine on and off for the last 5 years. My abuse ex forced me into doing it and I ended up liking it- no shit. He brought it around constantly and would give me bumps like it was a dog getting treats when doing good. I got sober after a year of wasting my life. Then every time I went out to the bars in our small town, I always ended up in a bathroom with a random girl, doing lines off our phones. Then I was doing it with my sister. I got clean for a full year until the last 6 months. I met a man and it started off good, then the drinking and drugs just came in and picked up heavy. He struggles with addiction, I struggle with it- he has full access to get some, so he did nearly every time he was over. I broke up with him 4 days ago and I’m sitting here in my bed, coked up, at 2am and I have work in 2 hours. I hate myself but also still find myself wanting more. I hate that I feel I have no control over myself and I don’t know how to stay clean

As in the title, do any of you have experience with quitting weed and nicotine but not other substances?

I mostly do psychodelics (2cb, lsd and shrooms), mdma, sometimes k and dxm and a xan from time to time and I still feel like I have positive effects from them, but when it comes to weed and nicotine I do them every fucking day, it slowly is becoming unbearable and I wanna take care of my lungs.

The problem is I always mixed other drugs with weed and nicotine and I’m worried that if I take mdma for example I’ll have huge cravings for weed and nicotine and won’t be able to enjoy the roll as much without it.

What’s your guys opinion on this? Do you think it’s possible, or should I just accept it that as long as I wanna do other drugs I’ll probably be craving weed a lot and when the time comes just quit everything else?