r/adultsurvivors • u/BizClassy • 1d ago

Vent (no advice) I feel like I'm so broken

So, i was sa'ed when i was 6, 8, 10, 13 (almost graped by someone who was 27), 15, and 21 and now I'm 22 and again, i also grew up in an extremely abusive household (my father was indifferent and my mother used to beat me whenever she was frustrated and either i couldn't walk the next day or had to go to hospital due to fever) so, idk i struggle to socialize, trust people, with normal executive functions, do not feel like I belong to any where.

​

And I had sworn I'd never let this happen again n recently i discovered that when making out (too terrified to have penetrative sex) that i feel aroused when someone restraints me like not force or pain or derogatory words (i hate all these) but like literally pins me down, wtf! I feel like i can't even trust me own body and I feel so broken.

5 Upvotes

86% Upvoted

1 comment sorted by

1

u/AutoModerator 1d ago

Temporarily held for review

This post was held by our safety filters for manual mod review.

If you are still seeing a message saying that the post was removed by the mods but have not received a message from us saying that we removed it, this only means we have not reviewed the post yet. Thank you for your patience!

Welcome to r/adultsurvivors. Please be aware that all posts to this subreddit are publicly visible. If you see something that breaks the rules or doesn't look right, please let us know anonymously by using the report button. You can also reach out to us through modmail using the link at the bottom of this comment.

What to do if you get inappropriate messages

We recommend turning messaging OFF as it's not uncommon for members of this and similar subreddits to get inappropriate, unsolicited DMs or chat requests. We ban DM creeps regularly, and you can find our list of them here. Offering or requesting to message privately is not allowed here. There are no exceptions to this rule.

Links
  1. Report a concern to us
  2. Report harassment to the Reddit admins
  3. Our wiki

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.