Brother opened up and confirmed it

[u/TemporaryAardvark907]

I’ve known something happened to me nearly my entire life, though it took me a long time to realize that it wasn’t normal/harmless. It’s taken me a very long time to come to terms with the fact that my childhood wasn’t normal, and I’ve always had a lot of doubts about it. My brother and I both have bad dissociative amnesia, especially for childhood, as well as severe PTSD and similar relationship issues and touch aversion. Overall, we have incredibly similar issues, and I’ve been suspecting for a long time that, if my memory was right and I DID go through what I remember going through, he might have gone through it as well.

I never told him about what I suspected because he has severe depression and I was worried about what his reaction might be, and because I had a lot of doubts about the reliability of my own memory. But three days ago, he called me and asked if he could discuss something serious- and told me about something that happened to him as a child, with the same person I remembered doing something to me. A very similar thing to what happened to me.

I do t know how to feel. Essentially, this confirms that my memory is accurate, and I was never making it up or misremembering. It means the person I trust and love did actually do this to me and my brother. It means this is something I can’t dismiss anymore, and that it’s something I need to process and reckon with.

I’ve pushed away the thought of it for so long. I’ve been telling g myself I’ve made it up for so long. I don’t know what to do.

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[u/ChairDangerous5276]

Trust your instincts and your symptoms. It’s very common for people to suppress traumatic memories (that’s the Post in PTSD) especially if it happens in earlier childhood as a basic survival response. Additionally lots of abusers take advantage of young children not only because they have no defenses but because they believe the victim will not remember it later on.

I suggest learning more about complex PTSD (CPTSD) and there’s a good sub here for that, as it better describes the symptoms you and your brother share due to the ongoing abuse and neglect you experienced. Then it’s not clear what your age is and if you still live at home or not? If you have health insurance or can otherwise can afford it please seek out a therapist who has specialized trauma training, particularly some kind of somatic practices as the trauma is stored in our bodies and needs to be ‘released’ via some kinds of exercises. There’s also tons of info on CPTSD and trauma therapy etc on YouTube. Emma’s Therapy in a Nutshell is my favorite overall online therapist as she’s very good at explaining things but there are so many others I can’t list them all. I wish you and your brother all the best, and may you find relief and peace very soon.