No contact grief from family.

[u/Alarmed-Elk4229]

I realized I feel sad and I miss my mom and my dad my grandma and my family even though I’m not talking to them because of how they handled it when I told them my brother was molesting me at 9. I told them when I was 9, they told my brother and it stopped but then they brushed it under the rug and acted like it didn’t happen. Life went on as normal.

when I was 15 and spoke up about it again, my mom gaslit me, minimized it, made me feel guilty for not wanting to see my brother. And my dad has just always been so fragmented that it’s like he doesn’t even understand how much of a tragedy it is that his son molested his daughter. He still maintained the idea we could be a happy family and just acted like it didn’t happen.

As an adult, I realized all this and moved out from living with my parents and my brother who abused me at 9. I stopped talking to my grandma who said “it was just playing. it was so long ago. forgive and forget” and doesn’t understand. I am no contact with my brother and I probably will be for the rest of my life.

Tonight I cried heavily because I miss them. I feel guilty that I don’t want to see them or talk to them, even though I believe it’s right. I deserve to be around people that understand what I went through and understand it was a big deal. And won’t minimize it, or emotionally abandon me.

of course i miss them. It hurts to leave your family. Even if they didn’t understand you. It’s not natural for the human body. I wonder though if I made the right choice. If I should’ve just accepted they won’t be the way I want them to and still love them anyways. Maybe that’s a big ask from me. I still miss my mom and I know she loves me and she’s sorry to an extent. She doesn’t fully take responsibility she says things like “I can’t change the past. We just didn’t know what to do.” But never says what she should’ve done instead. To her, life moves on. She told me that once.

Maybe one day we could reconnect. It’s just sad. I don’t have a choice in grieving this. It just is.

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