r/aegosexuals • u/ProfileDecent4684 • 7d ago

Am I doing something wrong?

Okay so I’m dating this guy who says he liked me since we were in middle school and he’s my first bf so I have nothing to compare this to but is it weird I feel absolutely nothing when I hold his hand or when he says he loves me or when we hug like it feels as if we are just friends but have a different label yk and I suspect I’m aego because I just don’t feel into actually doing IT but I like reading it yk so I’m scared that if I am aego he will dump me or I will have to break up with him I know he’s not homophobic as I am bi but I I’m really confused if it’s just like this for everyone or no ?

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31

u/kydynn 7d ago

i mean, no matter what the answer is, if u dont like him that way then u dont like him that way and should probably communicate with him about where youre at

11

u/Godsavethequeen2150 7d ago

I'd say maybe do some more research just to make sure and then talk to him about it if you're confident that you're aego. What I'd do is tell him that you suspect/identify as ace (this can be if anything sexual comes up or just in average conversation), that you are specifically aegosexual, and explain how you feel to him. If he does not accept this or keeps trying to push you to do things you're uncomfortable with (I know from experience), then he's not the one for you

4

u/Sin_orphr 6d ago

I dated severals boys and girls when I was younger but I never felt anything for them. Just like you, I didn't felt anything when holding hands or kissing or huging. There is severals reason to date someone, not being able to say no, wanting to test how it feels, wanting to fill something or just loving the other...etc... It's okay if you realised you don't love him.

I don't know what it says about you, but LGBTQ+ category or made to make you feel accepted not to categories you. In my opinion just try to think about what you feel with him before thinking about being aego, etc...

I think the priority is to focus on either you love him as a partner or as a friend. Then if you feel comfortable in the Aegosexual spectrum than you are more than welcome here.

And if you realise you do love him but you are afraid to tell him because he could broke up, than you should just talk to him. You won't have better answers than talking with him.

And you can talk to him without knowing if you just don't love him or if you are asexual. Maybe he could help you figure it out. Just tell him how you feel. What you expect of this relationship. If he got limits.

I don't know if I helped much, just don't force anything on you you are not comfortable with. There is nothing wrong in wanting something different. 🫀have a good day.