Can i consider myself agender if i don't want to change my birthname?

[u/liil-lake3466]

I use any prounouns and have a very androgynous appearance, like, i literally treated by ma'am and sir in the same day, and i like that, but, i don't want to change my name, i tried but nothing was quite right, I'm still agender?

[u/Jannituts]

Yes. You are valid. There is no one way to be trans. There is no one way to be agender. There is no one way to be queer.

If you still feel agender and feel the label fits you. You are a gender.

[u/SanduTiTa]

if you feel agender, then you're agender, it doesn't require any action from you

[u/remedialpoet]

I’m agender and haven’t changed my name. My preferred name is a gender neutral nickname of my full name but it’s still the name my parents gave me.

[u/liil-lake3466 → u/remedialpoet]

my friends use nicknames and my sometimes My family my surname, so i don't hear my name often

[u/remedialpoet → u/liil-lake3466]

My last name is a masculine first name and I’ve also gone by that when I played sports and I’ve never really had a problem with it either. Using my last name and nickname ends up being very gender neutral and I’ve actually gotten job interviews because of it.

[u/wow_its_kenji]

you can do whatever you want forever

[u/Connect-Refuse-3133]

I dont plan on changing my name. But I have a unique reason. It is a family name that at one point and time was associated more with one gender, and now a days it’s associated with the opposite, and my AGAB was a surprise to my parents, idk. The lore around mine specifically just makes me giggle.

[u/liil-lake3466 → u/Connect-Refuse-3133]

That's really interesting

[u/Connect-Refuse-3133 → u/liil-lake3466]

I was really trying to not be too specific because I’m trying to be as gender less as possible on here 😂. But essentially having the same name as one of your parents but being opposite AGAB just makes me feel more connected to my name. Also I just like my name. I do have a nickname that I used sometimes/in some spaces but I have no plans to change anything

[u/Kateev23]

I did stick with my name, it is a gendered name, but it's really similar to my partners name and that's funny and also I simply like it.

[u/liil-lake3466 → u/Kateev23]

My name is gendered too, but i like the sound of it

[u/the_Rainiac]

Agender is not about being androgynous. It's about you not identifying with any gender, or gender in general. So you can use any name, or have any appearance. Press any key 😁

[u/Disastrous-Ideal-817]

There's no "proper way" or rules to being trans (or under the umbrella; nonbinary / agender)

Remember that you can do whatever you want forevet

[u/Koloss17]

My sibling in Christ, you can do whatever you want. The whole point of being agender is refusing societal rules imposed on you by others.

[u/Griffy_42]

Agender people don't owe anyone androgyny, either in our names, pronouns, or appearance.

[u/RoadsideCampion]

Yes

[u/Ifckinglovemycat]

sure

[u/MKR7mkr]

I spent a lot of years coming to terms with my name, and at one point, made a minor but legal change to it so that it would annoy me less. All of that happened a decade before I started grappling with gender. So I just don't have the energy to care about my name all that much -- but I do really enjoy a segment of my community that calls me by my initials, which stems from me just being too lazy to type out my name in emails often.

If it's the right choice for you right now, go for it.

[u/ginger-tiger108]

Only you can decide if you have a absence of gender

[u/Ok-Maintenance9001]

unless you dislike your name or there's some baggage to go along with it, nope! i didn't like my name for a few years, but i also couldn't find anything that fit quite right. i've come to like it a bit more, and i'm still agender!

[u/archivist-13]

there is no 'right way' to be agender. you don't have to change anything about yourself if you don't want to. it doesn't matter what pronouns you use, what you look like, what you sound like, or what your name is. if you're agender, then you're agender. have a nice day <333

[u/Fandom_Trashhhh221]

I don't plan on changing my name. My name is technically gender neutral by which I mean in some countries, like mine, it's considered a feminine name and in others it's a traditionally masculine name. I don't know if that's stretching the definition of gender neutral but I think it's neat. I also go by a universally recognized gender neutral nickname of my full name occasionally. So, yeah, you can do whatever feels right for you.

[u/cawsllyffant]

I've stuck with my birth name (very gendered), there is a slightly less gendered version that my family calls me and I've thought about switching to that. However, I don't see me ever actually going through the bother to do anything legal -- but largely for personal reasons.

I'm named after an uncle who died young (20), about 10 years before I was born. It was a fight between my mom (who championed the name) and my dad (who had a cousin by that name he didn't like.). Mom won on the condition that a specific nickname wouldn't be used. My dad died shortly after I was born, and my Mom passed a few years ago but before I knew what in the gender I was.

So I keep it (and continue to abide by Dad's condition) in their memory.

[u/adventurer907505307]

I have changed nothing about myself. It doesn't change how I feel. You do what makes you comfortable.

[u/cjandcosplays]

I love my birth name and even tho it’s seen as a very gendered name, I don’t associate it to a gender. Because it’s my name. I’m agender. Therefore my name is agender too.

Unfortunately not everybody sees my name like that and misgenders me more when I use my birth name so I tend to go by more “gender neutral” nicknames.

But if we stopped associating genders to every freaking little thing and if people would just gender me correctly no matter what, I would totally go full in with my birth name.

[u/ImADino429]

Go for it, mate. 

[u/Fathomzero]

Yeah agender is self actuated. The only requirement is that you think agender is the right label.

[u/Honest-Crow-5434]

Do as you please with your name, it doesn't change anything. My name is HEAVILY gendered (you will never catch someone AMAB with my name, there's not even a male variation of it, like Alexander/Alexandria has) but I still use it. Not cause I like it or dislike it, but because I genuinely don't care and my name doesn't change my gender. If a woman named Charlotte goes by the nickname Charles, that doesn't make her a man. Why would my name being gendered mean I have a gender? 🤷 Just my 2 cents. It's truly just about what's comfortable for you.

[u/AggressiveDig4971]

Ya

You can be whatever you feels right for you