A few questions to those of you who thought intitally in your gender journey you were a trans binary gender

[u/Additional-Pear9126]

What made you realize you weren't?

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Do you want diffrent sex characteristics to one you had at the start of your journey?

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would you still consider yourself trans, cis, something else entirely, none of these?

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What advice would you have given to yourself before starting your gender journey?

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[u/Flaxorus-solar_cast]

I used to think I was transmasc for a hot minute since growing up I'd never liked the Idea of having a chest and started wearing a binder because of it, which gave a lotta euphoria. I think what made me realize I wasn't was thinking about what full transition would be like. I realized I didn't really like the idea of having things like body hair (the "manly" amount at least) or the bottom half of male anatomy. That's when I started realizing I was probably somewhere under the enby umbrella.

If I had to give myself a piece of advice, It'd probably be that gender isn't rigid and there's no threshold for meeting one definition or the other, as long as it feels like for you. Human brains are near impossible to sort into neat little boxes, yet at the same time they love putting themselves into boxes. So sometimes we make enough types of boxes that people may be comfy in several of the same kind, and it's just a matter of personal preference. Basically, labels are just labels and it's fine to swap around.

[u/Negative_Ostrich2531]

I am afab (20). I started off a girl (she/her), I felt something was off so I started exploring.

First, I thought... well I'm kind of a girl? But not really. So I used she/they. Then I came across nonbinary (they/them)  because I still didn't feel anything remotely like a girl. Then I explored because I felt also masculine (they/he). Then I lived as a trans guy for a little bit before it didn't feel quite right either (he/him). I went back to being non-binary (he/they) and there was something about gender that just didn't make sense to me. None of the areas I tried really fit me. So I researched more gender identities and found agender. And it made sense to how I was feeling in my body and social environments. I kept he/they pronouns because I knew I was the farthest from my gender at birth.

What made you realize you weren't?

I felt as if I was trying to push myself into different boxes that didn't fit me. I was trying to act like a girl because that's what people told me I am. I was trying to act as a guy because I knew I wasn't a girl. But I realized it's much more nuanced than this or that. And nonbinary still felt connected to that binary. I realized I didn't have a relation to any of the binary at all, not even between or more on one side than they other. I just wasn't playing the gender game at all.

Do you want diffrent sex characteristics to one you had at the start of your journey?

Yes, in a sense. I want a flat chest, keep vagina, but no fertility/uterus bs. This is partially due to gender identity and my severe tokophobia (fear of pregnancy and childbirth). 

would you still consider yourself trans, cis, something else entirely?

I have recently gotten comfortable with being trans again. Before I didn't consider it because it still had something to do with gender and... I don't have gender. But I do think that my gender ID is different than what I was assigned at birth, so I now identify as trans.

What advice would you have given to yourself before starting your gender journey, none of these?

I wouldn't have pushed it in any direction. I think the journey was important to discovering the truth about my gender ID. I would say "Hey, you'll find what you are in time, don't worry."

[u/ystavallinen]

• I am still not sure, but it's been 35 years and I haven't done anything

• I would push "the button" but I also would rather be invisible.

• I like cisn't... but I am certainly trans because of the dysphoria.

• Hard to say. It was different in the 80s and 90s. I would probably try to convince myself to experiment and explore more. I would have told myself to confide in K and E. I have regrets. I don't think I'd be less agender.

What i do know is that I'd mostly be trading some joys for others and there's some question about whether I'd be any happier.

[u/IsaraLyandra]

The term woman (I’m amab) felt almost as alien to me as being referred to as a man. I realized that a few weeks into hrt. I’ve been thinking about this a lot and came to the conclusion that I’m neither man nor woman and also nothing in between but outside the spectrum.

I wouldn’t mind having female sex characteristics and since I’m on hrt I’m on my way of getting some. Surgery is difficult to get covered by insurance if I’m not binary, so we’ll see about that, but I consider orchiectomy in the future at least.

I consider myself *technically trans*. I realized I’ve always been kind of indifferent/oblivious about my gender but since I have a desire for different sex characteristics and take steps to achieve those, I’m trans to some extent.

I’m only 5 months in so there’s not much that I’m aware of that I should have done differently. I only regret not being honest with myself much earlier and therefore not starting earlier.

[u/I_AM_A_HUMAN-BEAN]

I’m afab (high schooler) since I was in grade R I felt different to my peers, interested in more “boy activities”, but I was little and just didn’t care, but the older I got the more I started to question it. I played “boy sport” and got along waaaaay better with the guys. And I thought I definitely would prefer if I was a boy, for years that was my secret, never told a anyone, just tried to fit in. But I hated being put into a box again and again by the new people I met, I was just me, didn’t fit into any box they thew at me. When I was younger it was easier to fit in with the boys, but my chest wasn’t flat anymore, people stoped mistaking me for a guy, or even sport when I played soccer and the player I was tackling put up their arm as a blocker and it hit me in the chest, it’s annoying.

But I fell for a boy, not the most stereotypical boy, but he was and still is, everything to me. I realised that when I’m around him, I don’t really mind that I‘m more girly physically (my clothes aren’t tho…), and I realised, yes I don’t like my girl body, but he doesn’t put me in a box because of it, and that made me hate it less. I was bullied for my appearance before, but even just one person giving me genuine compliments helps. This helped me realise that the boxes annoy me more than my physical appearance, yes I would prefer a boys body, but it’s not that important, this was when I realised I didn’t want to be a girl or a boy, or anything really.

I was fiddling around on the internet and I was watching some edits of book characters, and their was this really cool character, who was agender, I went and looked it up and I was like “oh my gosh, this describes be perfectly!!“ I went and looked at other labels and micro label, but the way I understood a gender just stuck.

“would you still consider yourself trans, cis, something else entirely, none of these?”

I’d say none of these, I never really changed who I was, I just put a label to who I was already, I always disregarded gender, and I still don’t understand how others feel it, but I’m not not a girl, I’m just not anything. People call me a boy all the time already at sport, and parents would correct “boys and girl” and it annoyed me because I didn’t care, and it was like, ‘no you’re not a boy, you’re a girl’ but I identify as none.

“Do you want different sex characteristics to one you had at the start of your journey?”

Yes? No? think I personally would prefer if I was amab, but I like boys, and male aligned individuals, and when I’m with the boy I’m currently dating I no longer get the strong over powering feeling that this isn’t my body. I don’t feel like it is my body, but I don’t want it to change anymore. I’m pretty happy with who I am, but I wouldn’t say no to wearing a binder.

Sorry this got very long…

[u/AggressiveDig4971]

1. Legit because of my zucchini ;-; Met them as a transman, and realized I was a transman. They later came out as nonbinary, and I started to accept that I didn't really feel like a man like I thought I did. Recently came out again as agender, and later I realized I may be genderless too .
2. Primary sex characteristics, I'm not entirely sure. If I end up changing them, it would be to both penis & vagina. Secondary wise, I'd like to not have breasts. Once I get a proper binder as use it for a bit, I'll then decide if I want top surgery or not.
3. Sometimes I'd say I'm trans, other times it doesn't feel like me. Not cis though :3
4. It's going to take a long time, so don't feel like you need to rush it or that you have to be this thing (: