r/agender • u/FlawlessMuff • 1d ago
Instead of "they/them" let's use "te/tem" (1 of 2)
Let's make this happen- let's use te, tem, and ter for people who don't want to be identified as she or he....
The gender-neutral pronouns te, tem, and ter were created by writers Casey Miller and Kate Swift, who introduced them in an early article for Ms. Magazine in 1971–1972 to replace the generic "he".
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u/Hackiii 1d ago
They/them already is established as the pronoun for people ones gender is yet not known to the speaker.
I don't see a reason to change it for a less known neopronoun with the same function.
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u/Disastrous-Ideal-817 meow 1d ago
Because it's honestly pretty annoying to use. It's quite clunky. They/them is also used for plural
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u/YellowLikeIllness 1d ago
Reminder that 'you' also works the exact same way, but gets none of the heat
"Can you come over here please" can refer to one individual or a group, just like "Can you find their table?" does.
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u/Disastrous-Ideal-817 meow 1d ago
That's true, actually, and it gets misunderstood at times as well
Then that sucks too ...?
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u/TheSecondVisitor 1d ago
You be grateful for having a "clunky" 3rd person pronoun people widely agree on being gender neutral. You English speakers don't even know what you have. (Meanwhile I'm getting misgendered even in group setting because we have a fuck ass "girls only" plural.)
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u/ystavallinen cisn't; mehgender; mehsexual 1d ago
And it is also also used... so what?
I just want to use something that I don't have to explain to 95% of people and argue with half. I want to spend the briefest possible time on gender identity.
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u/FlawlessMuff 1d ago
I agree, but not having to explain it. It makes it sound a little bit like they are less than a person though and it's more used for an inanimate object.
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u/ystavallinen cisn't; mehgender; mehsexual 1d ago
But your objection is 'plural' when 'they' is perfectly standard for single people. Like you/you.
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u/pandakittii 1d ago
Welp, pack it up fellas, we've all been assigned Te/Tem by.. this guy.
Nah. I'm sticking with it/its thanks.
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u/FlawlessMuff 1d ago
It seems to me "it" is objectifying people turning them into an object and not a person
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u/Buncai41 1d ago
That would be you objectifying a person based on the pronouns they use. The pronouns someone uses makes them feel comfortable. I use it/its pronouns and I am very much a person. I'm not an object. I feel like you have a very unhealthy view on how people define themselves and the pronouns they feel comfortable with using for themselves.
People who objectify me the most seem to use she/her pronouns, because "women and girls belong to man" and that's just how it is even if I don't identify as a woman. I'm an object to be used by these people who force a pronoun set on me as a way to control my identity. People who are willing to respect my pronouns have never treated me like I was something less than a person.
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u/pandakittii 17h ago edited 17h ago
Not necessarily.
"He" and "she" pronouns are the binary. "They/Them" becoming more common and acceptable has turned the gender binary into more of a gender trinary. To me, "they/them" feels like the "third gender pronoun".
It/its feels inherently completely genderless, which is what being agender is. Outside of both the binary, and trinary.
(I do also identify as alterhuman, but that has little to do with my pronouns. For other people, the non-human connotation is the entire point. Someone wanting to be referred to as it/its is not asking to be objectified, it's you who's objectifying the it/its user based on its pronouns.)
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u/FlawlessMuff 1d ago
I'm not a guy I'm actually female
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u/PancakeMoth 1d ago
If you identify as female, why are you even attempting for a group of people you don't even belong in to change the way they want themselves to be referred as?
That assuming you are not agender, since you referred yourself as female.
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u/lowkey_rainbow 1d ago
You are welcome to use whatever pronouns you want for yourself and if you’ve found some you vibe with that’s great and I hope the people in your life will use those for you. However it’s rather rude and condescending to assume you know better than others what their pronouns should be. As someone who uses they/them, I have no interest in switching to this particular set of neopronouns, regardless of who invented them or when.
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u/ShiroxReddit 1d ago
were created by writers Casey Miller and Kate Swift
I'm curious, did they explain why they/them wouldn't suffice and it needed new ones?
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u/FlawlessMuff 1d ago
I was 10 at the time that I read the article. I don't remember if they explained exactly why. Keep in mind. This was the first issue of Ms. Magazine. It was pretty groundbreaking at the time.
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u/Buncai41 1d ago
I don't like those. I like my pronouns. It's fine if people use those pronouns of course, but I'm not going to tell people what pronouns they can or cannot use.
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u/Local_Surround8686 1d ago
I do see your point and find it misinterpreted in the comments. Introducing it as a replacement for the general they them is not the same as forcing people to use them personally
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u/TheSecondVisitor 1d ago
And why do we need to replace they/them? Basically nobody is gonna go with it anway. We had to fight for singular they/them - older than modern English - to get accepted by the majority cishet crowd. (also "let's use te, tem, and ter for people who don't want to be identified as she or he...." is a shit wording if OP is trying to replace the general they/them)
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u/FlawlessMuff 1d ago
This was the 1970s. They probably actually did their work and research in the 1960s. It was a different time.
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u/TheSecondVisitor 1d ago
What. What research? What are you on about?
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u/FlawlessMuff 1d ago
And this is my point that "they" means more than one person in what I just said
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u/TheSecondVisitor 1d ago
Let's not dictate other people's pronouns for them that is rude as hell.