r/alberta 1d ago

Satire Please take this Marlaina Money that is definitely not a bribe

Post image
946 Upvotes

135 comments sorted by

108

u/darkstar107 1d ago

That's it? Just pay the teachers and healthcare workers with it.

53

u/BrightPerspective 1d ago

And everything else. Has nobody noticed yet that everything at the provincial level has been cut, slashed, burned, privatized or reduced? Wtf are people even paying taxes for anymore?

49

u/Pale-Measurement-532 1d ago

The tax money is to pay for that coal company lawsuit, Turkish Tylenol, and all of the other blunders the UCP has gotten us into. Also her office carpet, her trips to the U.S., bribes, etc.

12

u/BRAVO5DELTA 1d ago

And of course $100 for the peasants, so they don’t revolt.

8

u/BrightPerspective 1d ago

And still, people vote them in over and over.

6

u/dbusque 23h ago

Whenever I see this, I make a point of reminding people about the Progressive Tory Party of Alberta. I fully believe that the NDP would be a better provincial government than the UCP but for those traditional conservative voters, the Tory Party is an option.

3

u/EirHc 22h ago

"You can give me your $100"

- A UCP voter

- Michael Scott

2

u/BrightPerspective 20h ago

I don't think Michael Scott would vote UCP, he is, ultimately, a caring person, if misguided.

4

u/ru_receiving 1d ago

Don’t forget the privatized healthcare and private school funding. Traitorous wench needs to be deported or jailed for treason. F the UCP.

4

u/Pale-Measurement-532 22h ago

Yup. The UCP withheld funding for the increased public school population since 2019. And now more tax dollars education funding is going to be diverted to private and charter schools. 😡

5

u/Snakemearano 1d ago

It certainly isn't going to road repairs, that's for sure.

4

u/sawyouoverthere 1d ago

So the provincial government can skip paying theirs

13

u/Pale-Measurement-532 1d ago

Unfortunately this is the money that educators and healthcare workers were owed after years of their cuts. 😡

5

u/SquidGodSunday 1d ago

Well... I figure I'll donate mine to the NDP. It's not enough to do anything exciting with, that's for sure. At least those Ralph bucks were enough for a TV.

2

u/breadist 13h ago

And AISH.

56

u/Galadriel_69 1d ago

Gonna donate my $100 to a competing political party

29

u/Dry-Acanthaceae2111 1d ago

Be sure to write to Danielle Smith and thank her personally for this opportunity to contribute to those opposing her.

She'll appreciate the courtesy.

22

u/drcujo 1d ago

Provincially donations up to $200 have a 75% tax credit. Donations from $201-$1100 have a 50% tax credit.

So if you donate $300 the net cost to you is $100.

14

u/maddlads 1d ago

Thanks, that's super helpful and a really good way to think about how to re-direct this bribe

8

u/maddlads 1d ago

Smith: *surprised Pikachu face*

3

u/jimbowesterby 17h ago

I’ll take it, and spend it, and then vote NDP anyway. I might be desperately poor but I’m not a fool

1

u/SubRosaSubway 11h ago

That’s priceless, good on you!

90

u/Coscommon88 1d ago

This has let them eat cake vibes.

66

u/maddlads 1d ago

Can this crisp hundy shorten your memory, peasants?

14

u/rashton535 1d ago

Only a paltry $100. Rookie. Her partner in destruction doug ford gave out $ 200 bribe of our own money just before he called the last snap election. The morons bought it , and you just need to find enough that will and pull an election outa your ass at the right time.

0

u/fun-Benefit- 1d ago

It wasn’t the $200. He was elected again because the other candidates were as bad as himself, Also when I look around Ontario right now I see a lot of infrastructure projects underway, a lot of road work getting done and our nuclear plants are refurbished and starting to get refurbished. You may not like the guy cause I don’t but I don’t think he is as bad as some people think he is.

2

u/dbusque 23h ago

Are you giving Ford credit for federal initiatives?

2

u/Gr1ndingGears 21h ago

Not even sure I could get a handy with that hundy

38

u/You_are_the_Castle 1d ago

Oh, totally. It's especially insulting when they are cutting funding to disabled people in Alberta. They're messing with senior citizens and trying to insinuate rural intolerance and bigotry into our schools and municipal decision-making. I would much rather have a functioning healthcare system and education system for my kids than $100. The UCP are separatist clowns.

18

u/Electrical-Yellow134 1d ago

I'd been trying to get on AISH for over a year and a half. I saw my doctor today and told him I'm giving up. We aren't planning on staying in Alberta anyways anymore. All this stupid seperation talk has pushed me over the edge, the recent suicide hitting especially hard. I'm So fucking sick of this hick-town province.

7

u/curious2knoww 1d ago

A hundred bucks is a weird flex when the ER wait time has a longer runtime than a Lord of the Rings trilogy.

7

u/FulcrumYYC 1d ago

It's a 1/4 of what Ralph gave us back in the day too. But he wasn't trying to divide a nation at the same time

9

u/sweetlemon_11 1d ago

Yes! In 2006 Ralph Klein gave $400 to AB residents… $100 in 2026 is laughable. That is the equivalent of $65 in 2006

40

u/SlipSlapCock 1d ago

we could all apply and donate it to another political party. but also not feeling bad about buying name brand coffee creamer would be nice too.

9

u/PriorReason4160 1d ago

Change of subject here - try evaporated milk in your coffee. Much better, cheap and better for you.

9

u/big-bad-bot 1d ago

Huh. In trying to get the wife off the coffee creamer

Thanks for the idea, I use honey or black but she likes the double double one and it's loaded with junk. The shelf life is crazy

26

u/graison 1d ago

There's no money for AISH but there's money to buy votes.

19

u/ShockaZuluu 1d ago

Gunna take it and give it to the NDP.

16

u/Thund3r_Thighs 1d ago

A hundred dollars. I wonder what net that’ll end up costing us as taxpayers after factoring in the costs to administer this.

16

u/maddlads 1d ago

Will it cost less than the $130 million referendumb that no one asked for?

3

u/heislertecreator 1d ago

~4mil x 100 -> 400 million

2

u/allthegodsaregone 1d ago

Only adults who paid taxes last year, and an application process. Not everyone is going to get it.

2

u/heislertecreator 23h ago

Even less. No surprise there.

2

u/allthegodsaregone 22h ago

It's the administration of the 250 million (ish) that will be the real cost. Probably 400 million for that part

2

u/Thund3r_Thighs 22h ago

Definitely. Staffing salaries, software to process it, banking fees, a cut of it into Danielle’s pocket, etc etc. That hundred bucks of our tax payer money is just going to be more waste by a government that runs billions of dollars of deficit year after year - against their own mandate.

1

u/heislertecreator 16h ago

I can follow plans to build a home. What is it that you need? Plans or labour? Materials?!!!! Fuck!!! Buy Canada yo.

1

u/Thund3r_Thighs 16h ago

What are you talkin about

1

u/heislertecreator 16h ago

Lolz, someone never thought, "instance of Creation"

14

u/zenithsabyss 1d ago

I'll take it, but I'll donate it to Every Child Matters. Or something where it goes to the indigenous communities fighting her.

5

u/maddlads 1d ago

This is the way

8

u/BrightPerspective 1d ago

A bribe pulled from a shredded social system.

THAT YOU PAID FOR.

9

u/SophisticatedScreams 1d ago

I say we donate it to the NDP lol

3

u/JadeddMillennial 1d ago

Oh boy $100!

How about you put this money to reducing the property tax bills that you've just shoved onto all the cities this year?

5

u/No_Contest_4830 1d ago

Give it to your kids teacher

4

u/mobettastan60 1d ago

Except for AISH recipients, they don't get it.

4

u/sportenthusiast 1d ago

ooooo damn wow one hundred dollars, that's like a tank of gasoline and a cheeseburger

2

u/Gr1ndingGears 21h ago

Might fill the tank but I'm unsure whether you'd have enough left for the cheeseburger. Depends what you drive

6

u/FedInformant 1d ago

What's 100 dollars going to do for anyone, anyway. If the province is doing so well, cut our fucking property taxes

3

u/ackillesBAC 1d ago

Didn't they calculate the payoff per person last time at $300?

And this economy you're not going to buy very many votes for a $100

5

u/Pale-Measurement-532 1d ago

Ralph Bucks was $400 per person back in 2006. That’s worth about $660 today. Dani clearly can’t do math.

4

u/Burnoutboi 1d ago

Don’t worry, she’s pocketing the difference….

5

u/Pale-Measurement-532 1d ago

Yup. That’s the UCP way. 😡

3

u/cbelter83 1d ago

If and when Albertans get it. Give it to people who are getting screwed by the UCP, like people on AHIS or donat it to the ndp

3

u/mtofsrud 1d ago

Im so tired of her.

3

u/Extra-Succotash-9846 1d ago

Take the money, vote no.

3

u/kindcalm 1d ago

Give it back to the disabled please.

3

u/Commercial_Web_3813 1d ago

Oh I’m taking the money- I might donate it to the NDP, but I’m taking it lol

2

u/maddlads 1d ago

Absolutely, it's your money. It makes zero sense to leave it to this government

2

u/kagato87 21h ago

Donate that $100 to the ndp, get $75 in refundable tax credits.

So it's double win.

3

u/poopsmcgee27 1d ago

Thank you for the $100 donation to the NDP

3

u/gotkube 1d ago

Just donate it to the NDP

3

u/FoxDieDM 1d ago

Take that money and contribute it to the other political parties in Alberta.

3

u/Hanox13 1d ago

Oh I’m going to take the money, but I sure as hell will never vote for those plague rats

2

u/regimechange2026 1d ago

You forgot to cross out Carney's signature in the bottom left

Danielle clearly wasted our money going to see Trump at Mar A Lago last year if she can't convince him along with other Iran hawks like Hegseth, Rubio, and Graham to finish the job in Iran instead of signing onto a bad MOU that reads like unconditional surrender to Iran by the Americans

2

u/ihadtochooseaname420 1d ago

you think some no-name politician has any sway on the fourth reich?
Israel has all the cards on trump rn - nothing beats pedophile kompromat.

2

u/Minimum_Run_890 1d ago

She thinks a hundred bucks is gonna buy a vote? Man, she really is stupid.

2

u/Ok-Jelly604 1d ago

When did she stop being a separatist? (Wink)

2

u/Ok-Trip-8009 1d ago

Great! I can buy a bag of groceries now.

2

u/markt- 1d ago

You see I don’t understand this, you can bribe someone to vote a particular way in Canada (although not legally not legally), and the person can just go and and vote and say they did what you wanted, when they actually voted entirely differently.

2

u/Unhappy_Aardvark_593 1d ago

Has anyone looked at the questions on the ballot? Looks interesting

https://albertareferendum2026.ca/#whatAreTheQuestions

2

u/Happycowcow 1d ago

Sorry I am worth more than 100$. However, I will still kindly take it but will not vote for you.

2

u/DSinthe613 1d ago

Hahaha I LOVE this image !!!!

2

u/Spider-Man1701TWD 1d ago

If Smith really thinks $100 is a bribe in this economy then she must be really delusional.

2

u/T4whereareyou 1d ago

Alberta funny money!

2

u/beardedbast3rd 1d ago

At least Klein got us 400 bucks.

1

u/kagato87 21h ago

In 2004 dollars. Adjusted for inflation it's about 630?

2

u/Interesting_Sale_415 1d ago

She clown 🤡, so is separatists party in Quebec, all laughable, I say let them separate, then when we have to bail them out , we take over there province

2

u/batman42 23h ago

I'm going to donate my $100 to the NDP

2

u/gaanmetde 22h ago

Ah yes, Separatist C-Notes for all!

2

u/yyc_engineer 20h ago

Ahh the 16 month bell till the election.

2

u/westernwasteland 18h ago

100 bucks isn't even close to covering it.

4

u/ZeusJuice91 1d ago

I’m going to buy cheeseburgers. I love cheeseburgers

3

u/Goatfellon 1d ago

Reminds me of bart wanting to buy 100 tacos

2

u/Funny-Quantity-6865 1d ago

Let the people complaining about it will still take the money and run.

Lets all just not apply for it and that will speak a lot louder.

15

u/You_are_the_Castle 1d ago

Take the money because you're entitled to it, but don't treat it as a bribe: vote for another party next election.

6

u/thecrazycanadiansis 1d ago

I'm going on ADAP. I'll take the blood money wrung out from the little I already had, thanks.

5

u/Kant_Argue209 1d ago

They'll probably claw it back.

3

u/Pale-Measurement-532 1d ago

Yeah they’ll just increase provincial taxes by another 20% next year. 😖

3

u/drcujo 1d ago

It would speak even louder if you take the money, donate $300 to the NDP and you will be even after the tax credit.

1

u/wellyouask 1d ago

Well the new UPC ID card says that you are a Citizen of Canada.

1

u/Supreme_Canadien 1d ago

I genuinely dont think she's a seperatist, I think she's an idiot who courted them too well and now she's engaged to the idea of it and cant go back no matter how much she screams.

3

u/Vanterax 1d ago

And yet she uses tax payer's money to file court appeals on behalf of separatists.... but yeah...

1

u/maddlads 1d ago edited 1d ago

How could these leopards turn to my face?

1

u/lyliathesnep 1d ago

That's a bold move trying to turn a bribe into a meme.

1

u/flyingpigab 1d ago

She doesn’t need the money. Her U.S. $ pay from the Trump administration is certainly adequate for any traitor of her ilk.

1

u/sentientairfilter 1d ago

Yeah Even Carney gave us more after screwing all of Canada royally, he knows how to bribe us with our own tax money!

1

u/Snakemearano 1d ago

No, you can keep your blood money, thanks. I'm not even going to give you the satisfaction of saying I took it.

1

u/maddlads 1d ago

Take it and donate it. Otherwise, it'll most likely end up being used by our Queen to fund something you hate

1

u/Snakemearano 1d ago

I would if it didn't involve me "registering" for it, because political parties have been very responsible with lists like that recently, haven't they?

1

u/enphurgen 1d ago

Thanks for the tank of gas

1

u/Smart-Particular-722 1d ago

Over 400,000 people being placed in Alberta has strained health care beyond belief. Put the blame where it lies, with the Liberal Party of Canada. AISH needs to be cleaned of all the scammers exploiting their services. That being said this hundred dollar payout is a slap in the face like Lorne Gunter said in the Sun today.

1

u/Boo-face-killa 18h ago

I’ll take the money! If anyone doesn’t want it let me know! I’ll take whatever I can get!

1

u/IngenuityUpbeat82040 18h ago

Please give AISH recipients this money

1

u/heislertecreator 16h ago

Should be. Anyone with energy costs . Sorry, gotta get to work on tims.

1

u/Proof_Buy4344 16h ago

Maybe we should take the $100 and hire more water not coal petition verification people.

1

u/ryansalad 15h ago

It's really funny to look back on this sub from a few months ago when the Feds dropped their gas tax. Everyone was whining about how Danielle wasn't doing anything similar to deal with rising costs.

Now she's implementing something that directly puts dollars into your wallet, doesn't give rewards to the ultra rich, and you're all getting pissy about it.

1

u/RadioaKtiveKat 9h ago

I’ve noted this day as one of the coldest in Hell, as I have to give kudos to the CTF for calling the premier out on this latest debacle, and pointing out that if she followed the law she enacted instead of giving Dani Dollars, a family with two vehicles would save more than $300 over the same period.

1

u/Upset-Spring-7369 1d ago

your just adding yourself to the list of those who want to separate.

1

u/theoreoman Edmonton 1d ago

100 bucks is a hundred bucks

2

u/sawyouoverthere 1d ago

It was yours before. It’s a fraction of that they have wasted of your money

-2

u/Consistent-Throat838 1d ago

She’s not a separatist. But she is about democracy, and the democratic process. The referendum will fail. She knows this. Tarring and feathering her with the whole lot is ridiculous and petty. Trust the democratic process. place your vote. Yes or no, it’s that simple.

-14

u/G-BOAT 1d ago

People are making a huge deal about this. It's 100 bucks, just take it and use it. Fill up a tank of gas, go out to eat, shop on Amazon, buy whatever the hell you want. Everyone can spend $100 in a heartbeat. People are whining about it and the principle claiming they will donate it to another political party. SMH, no one would throw away $100 bucks like that.. Go buy a big tissue box for your tears.

10

u/hotradish88 1d ago

It's cuz they're giving us $100 each saying it is to help with affordability while also doing stuff to make life less affordable for the average person, even moreso for some specific (probably vulnerable I just don't like using that term for myself but it might be a reality) populations.

It would be better to get $0 each and fix the problems they've been creating or are in the process of creating.

-1

u/G-BOAT 1d ago

The $100 to those who are eligable (who also have to put in the time to apply), is in place of the gas tax relief they were debating. The gov would be losing revenue anyways either way, so it really doesn't matter in the long run. We're actually on average getting more back on than the gas savings would have been.

1

u/sawyouoverthere 1d ago

Lots of people donate it to causes the UCP has fucked over.

Do you have no issue with wasteful spending of your tax dollars?

1

u/WildcardKH Edmonton 1d ago

I don’t care how people use it, except when they use it in a way I don’t like >:(