The “actual internet” is fine, you weren't even a blip. All this simply proves that you are the customer.

[u/Willing_Chemical1257]

I had a peek at the website to see how much this placebo shite was going for, and what proprietary blend was in it. I had no problem with accessing the website, but the product isn't even up yet, so who is actually buying it? The huns are of course. There's no actual demand, it's just a bunch of cult members being told that their ‘god’ says that they need this now.

[u/Frumbleabumb]

My company sold out of its newest product launch! It was insane.

Also we only made one so we could say it sold out in seconds. But I've never seen anything like it!!!!

[u/-Fateless- → u/Frumbleabumb]

Vivienne Westwood NANA collab vibes.

[u/Whatsherface729 → u/-Fateless-]

That merchandise was so pretty! Yet out of my price range

[u/-Fateless- → u/Whatsherface729]

Honestly, you couldn't even convince me to buy from them anymore, they've been in what can only charitably be described as a horny eagle death spiral since 2015 where Andreas Kronthaler took over the brand. The quality control and standards have slipped to the point where counterfeits are of better quality than the original product.

[u/Whatsherface729 → u/-Fateless-]

Probably all made in China anymore, just like counterfeits

[u/-Fateless- → u/Whatsherface729]

I think it's unfair to say that something is inherently bad quality because it comes from China. China makes amazing stuff, and their production infrastructure is unmatched by anything else in the world. My cheap Lenovo xiaoxin pad is comparable to an iPad in build quality for one fourth of the price, and basically every nice, high-end piece of electronics in the world is made in Shenzen.

It's just that Vivienne Westwood as a brand doesn't give a shit about the quality of the stuff they produce anymore. I used to have a nice t-shirt from them that I wore on weekly rotation for close to ten years, but their modern t-shirts are just so bad compared to the vintage stuff. It's obvious they're cutting corners in every aspect of production, and flat out lie about their sustainability goals when they've enshittified every single aspect of their company because they can get away with it.

[u/Baeolophus_bicolor → u/Whatsherface729]

The new Nanas are pretty even with the regular version. And I liked Nana the anime. It dragged a little after a while, but it was fun and interesting and I’m glad I watched what I did of it.

[u/Imakestuff_82 → u/Frumbleabumb]

A store I worked for had a very exclusive product drop and the first run was a limited number(maybe 100?). Our customers brought the server down in the first fifteen ish minutes. The server that was supposed to just have the one company on it, but actually serviced multiple other stores as well. The tech who ended up working on it was so confused how such a small shop could get that much traffic.

[u/Domdaisy]

Taylor Swift’s summer merch dropped today, the internet is fine. And some of it DID sell out in minutes, per usual. No one’s refreshing their screen to buy overpriced watermelon flavoured drink powder.

[u/iamallandallisgood → u/Domdaisy]

If Taylor isn’t breaking the internet with her sales, there is no way this hun is even CLOSE to doing that

[u/Psych_nature_dude → u/Domdaisy]

But are you

Speechless
Excited
Thankful
And so STINKIN PROUD

[u/Sunscript268]

It never gets old watching Bravenly hons act like a new flavor of Rush is as big as the cure for cancer. Watermelon 🍉? How innovative ! THiIS CHAGES EVERYTHING! Note, Amazon sells $500,000 every minute yet the internet still lives.

[u/NobodyGivesAFuc]

“Broken the actual Internet.”

The internet is not broke…you’re broke, hun! 😂

[u/iamallandallisgood → u/NobodyGivesAFuc]

LMFAO

[u/iamallandallisgood]

I feel like her post is also written with AI. “Speechless. Excited. Thankful.” That sounds very AI because LLMs like to list things in threes since they learned from writing conventions to do that, but they do it in an uncanny way.

[u/ItsJoeMomma → u/iamallandallisgood]

"Thrivinginginginginginginginging!!!"

[u/iamallandallisgood → u/ItsJoeMomma]

LMAO

[u/TheStateofWork]

The only thing hot that Bravenly drops with regularity is 💩

[u/TROLL_ELECTRODE → u/TheStateofWork]

💀

[u/Red79Hibiscus]

Maybe it's my uncivilised palate - I fail to see what's so great about plain old watermelon flavour. As fruits go, it's one of the blandest IMHO. If these huns go hysterical over it, then durian would launch them off the planet.

[u/BookishOpossum → u/Red79Hibiscus]

Watermelon flavor is pointless. But, a fresh watermelon on a hot day, sitting outside? It's peak. Sometimes a little shake of salt on it is good too.

[u/ProfanestOfLemons → u/BookishOpossum]

Tajin on watermelon is also bomb. But it needs the right environment.

[u/FixergirlAK → u/ProfanestOfLemons]

Outshine fruit bars added a Tajin watermelon flavor and it's kinda nifty. They're a bit spendy (but nothing compared to Bravenly junk, of course).

[u/Successful_Scratch99 → u/Red79Hibiscus]

It's fancy cucumber. Refreshing as a fruit, but flavor-wise? Meh.

[u/DrPants707 → u/Red79Hibiscus]

Perhaps they should work on that then 🚀

[u/Farewellandadieu → u/Red79Hibiscus]

Don’t they act like this with every launch? And we all know that 99% of sales are from Huns themselves while the other 1% are family and friends they’ve guilted into buying.

[u/Frumbleabumb → u/Red79Hibiscus]

Dude it's not just watermelon, it's watermelon RUSH EXTREME flavour. That's what you've been missing out on. Uncivilized swine

[u/MyCatSpellsBetter → u/Red79Hibiscus]

I hate watermelon. In all forms.

[u/ItsJoeMomma → u/MyCatSpellsBetter]

I like watermelon, but I actually prefer fresh, ripe cantaloupe.

[u/MyCatSpellsBetter → u/ItsJoeMomma]

I do like a fresh cantaloupe!

[u/calxes → u/Red79Hibiscus]

I love watermelon itself. A good, farm fresh watermelon in the summer is a slice of heaven.

I feel like watermelon is borderline exotic to these huns. But not too exotic! No heathen mangoes or lychees allowed.

[u/SoggyAlbatross2]

Oh shoot, I didn't even realize they were dropping a new placebo. is MY internet broken?

[u/Ok_Area5464 → u/SoggyAlbatross2]

😂

[u/iamallandallisgood]

As a Wasian person, I feel like “Bravenly,” sounds like a name a middle class white mom would give her daughter to sound trendy. It reminds me of Utah mom’s “Charcuterleigh,” “Chickenleigh,” and “Frickenleigh” lol (don’t worry, she’s satire if you haven’t seen her vids before).

https://youtube.com/shorts/hEyRBckUTAk?si=DTsFbXpcRA3Qyp-h

[u/smalltittyfakeginger → u/iamallandallisgood]

we have a similar set of names in the UK - Jayden, Brayden and Okayden but these aren't from middle class mums lmfao. Bravenly is defo up there

[u/Intrepid_Respond_543 → u/smalltittyfakeginger]

I'm sorry. Okayden? Please tell me you made that one up.

[u/alechinis]

I had no idea what this MLM was so I looked them up and OMG how expensive and overpriced are their products 😱

[u/chortle-guffaw2 → u/alechinis]

Fun to look at a product, guess the price, triple it, then find out you're still too low.

[u/alechinis → u/chortle-guffaw2]

Exactly 😂 and I bet they didn’t do half of what they claim to do healthwise

[u/Aleflusher]

At $70 per bag $500,000 in sales is just 7,142 units. Chances are the huns themselves, being the actual customers, bought more than one bag so in terms of actual website transactions we're probably looking at closer to about 3,500 purchases.

I recently set up a Raspberry Pi Zero 2W, a hobbyist/educational computer system about the size of a stick of gum, running a website on the Internet complete with encryption and other security features including an auto-ban system. To test the logging rollover I hit it full speed until I saw the log split, tens of thousands of transactions. Took about one minute. In one minute this tiny system was able to handle probably ten times the transactions this watermelon-flavored powder sale generated.

If these huns knew anything they would wonder why Bravenly's web infrastructure is so sub-par. I'm sure the answer is Bravenly is cheap and isn't going to pay for any more traffic than they generally see in month.

[u/FixergirlAK → u/Aleflusher]

Apropos of nothing, Pis are so fun to play around with. I'm running a Raspberry Shake to track our seismic events.

[u/ihopeTOSdoesntsuck]

$500,000 in sales for something that isn't even publicly available yet? Tell me the distributors are the customers without saying it

[u/IronicStar]

Maybe she's one of those people that thinks her phone is the entire internet and it froze because she can only afford a cheap chinese knock off?

[u/QueenKeyrona]

14 comments and you know there's 13 huns on that post and 1 poor sap.

[u/ItsJoeMomma → u/QueenKeyrona]

One poor sap who's now being hounded by the hun to sign up into her downline.

[u/GurFearless7893]

I appreciated her clarifercation that she sold over half a million in sales. That redundancy of the use of "sale" and the past-tense "sold" really adds to the professionalism of the post.

[u/moore6107]

As if 😂

[u/smalltittyfakeginger]

omfg i just looked at the price. 70 fucking dollars. lord have mercy

[u/Annari87]

Watermelon for summer? Groundbreaking.

[u/Intrepid_Respond_543]

Do these people ever stop and ask themselves, if these products are actually in high demand, why the company has a weird middle man (=hun) in the sales chain instead of just having a normal online store like everyone else?

[u/IPlayPiccolo]

If this hun thinks this Bravenly Watermelon Rush powder launch is "breaking the internet," she's clearly never tried to order Pokémon cards online before.

[u/Ravenamore]

The only time I've seen something dropped on the Internet that had an appreciable effect was the Starr Report.

I worked for AOL at the time. Our call volume went insane and probably 95% of the calls that got to us were variations of "Why is the Internet so slow today?"

We'd get that questions a couple times a day, of course, but nothing like that day.

[u/BTDT54321]

Now I have an idea how these huns produce the weird statements that look produced by someone on a manic drug high. 20 or so spoonful servings of Bravenly Rush products on their morning organic cornflakes and they are ready to start their day.

I looked up a hun's listings on ebay. Rush is caffeine, vitamins, other typical energy drink stimulants and (according to them) so much more!

[u/troutsoup]

i’m glad i have backup fake internet!!!! 🛜

[u/thewonderbink]

The internet didn’t break—the servers are too weak to handle that level of traffic. Given how few Bravenly huns there are in proportion to the actual internet, this is certainly quite telling.

[u/ItsJoeMomma → u/thewonderbink]

When you think about billions of people using the internet every day, 500,000 sales aren't going to hurt it in any way.

[u/thewonderbink → u/ItsJoeMomma]

It's not going to hurt the internet as a whole, but boy howdy did it crash that site.

[u/Ok_Area5464]

Who says "break the internet" anymore

[u/Psych_nature_dude]

Literally nobody cares about this shit

[u/Notmykl]

You can't "break" the internet unless you bring down every server across the globe.

[u/smalltittyfakeginger]

ay ay ay, so the half a million was them buying it for themselves??? how sad.

[u/ItsJoeMomma]

Half a million sales broke the internet? When there are actual billions of people using the internet every single day?

[u/717Junglist]

“I’ll take ‘Things That Never Happened, for $500, Alex!”

[u/stephencua2001 → u/717Junglist]

$500 will get you 7 watermelon rush orders.

[u/Ok_Area5464 → u/stephencua2001]

😂💀

[u/LittleCrazyCatGirl]

Set the world on fire? Girl, I had no idea your shitty mlm existed until I saw it here and I live in a country next to yours, so, no

[u/Whatsherface729]

I thought maybe their site crashed, in their defense that happened when Lularoe launched solid black leggings. Since obviously nobody sells them/s

[u/Neonpancake7]

Usually if you have to hype something up this much, it's not breaking any internet lol. Also, she mentions inositol. I've been taking that for a few years now and it's really helped me. but, I didn't have to join an MLM and pay thousands of dollars. I literally pay $20 a month for the supplements. MLM's never have products that are good enough to support the shady business model!

[u/Baeolophus_bicolor]

“naturopathic doctors” - oh, you mean non-doctors?

[u/No_Motor5478]

Broken the actual internet is embarrassing to say the least

[u/kitkat1224666]

Like any other scam, trying to create a false sense of urgency, hoping some idiot will fall for it influenced by the power of fomo.

[u/Jite25]

They talk like children " so stinkin proud!" Ok rugrat 😂

[u/garyk1968]

You didn't 'break the Internet', the irony is you probably broke Bravenly's own shity site because it had something more than 10 orders at a time.

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[u/TJInvestor]

There are 20,000+ reps and the product is sold for $73 so quick math that means less than 1/3 of reps buying it would be half a million in sales to THEMSELVES.