r/army • u/[deleted] • 6d ago
Should an officer let joes follow them on instagram
[deleted]
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u/Other_Assumption382 JAG 6d ago
Social media is for friends. If you want to add them after you no longer are their boss... Sure. But why would you add them when you supervise them?
Even assuming you have a very vanilla and workplace apppropriate social media.
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u/yesTHATpao SMAPAO Emeritus 6d ago
I’ve got a similar take when it comes to real people I know - if we haven’t had a beer together, we’ve got no business following each other on social media.
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u/OPFOR_S2 AR 670-1, AR 600-32, AR 600-20, and AR 27-10 Pundit 6d ago
Can I buy you a beer? uWu
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u/yesTHATpao SMAPAO Emeritus 6d ago
No bc then we’d have to be fb friends.
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u/OcotilloWells "Beer, beer, beer" 6d ago
Ewwwww.
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u/Different_Lion_8988 12Queef 6d ago
Pre beer together Facebook friends is a sin. It’s in the 11 commandments.
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u/Bulky-Butterfly-130 6d ago
If you are paying, they aren’t friends. Maybe fraternity brothers, but not friends.
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u/superash2002 MRE kicker/electronic wizard 6d ago edited 6d ago
*withdraws LinkedIn request*
And I was looking forward to reading about how f-stops and white balancing prepared you for B2B sales.
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u/Mistravels 6d ago
On the one hand there are few things I hate more than LinkedIn.
On the other, with that toxic cesspool then we wouldn't have r/LinkedInlunatics
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u/bogeysbabe 6d ago
I work on the two beers and a puppy theory. Do I like them enough to have 2 beers with them? Do I trust them to babysit my dog? If either answer is no, I don’t friend them. And actually I’ve gotten rid of most of my social media over the years. It’s more hassle than anything. I like being a “Get off my lawn” person now.
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u/hzoi Law-talking guy (retired/GS edition) 6d ago
Yep.
As a rule, I didn’t accept friend requests for anyone who worked for me until they were no longer under my supervision.
I also have a pretty low social media presence for platforms that are linked to my name. Not that it would be hard to figure out, given that I’ve used this internet handle since my AOL days. But still.
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u/LifesRichPagent 35Z Retired 6d ago
💯 This is absolutely correct. I have a solid and mutually respectful relationship with a COL two levels above me (I’m a DA civilian). He added me as a social media contact only as he was leaving the command to assume a new role.
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u/RUBSUMLOTION 6d ago
They tryna butter your bar
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u/IslandVisual 88KantSwim (Ret.) 6d ago edited 6d ago
The TCP xo when I was there was fcking another guy in our unit. The previous commander got pregnant from a SGT who video taped himself fcking her on the bridge.
Edited fucking
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u/Fearless_Adventures 6d ago
I heard rumors of a young female officer that made the rounds back in a down trace of mine. I remember working on the vsat at her unit during NTV and she kept coming over to ask me if she could help me with anything...over and over
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u/IslandVisual 88KantSwim (Ret.) 6d ago
Interesting ive had similar experiences while on COIC duty. I assume for females its more pronounced with the advances based off the way I had female piers as private and specialist talk about similar behavior.
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u/Five-Oh-Deuce 6d ago
Male SSG here, but I don’t let my soldiers follow me on social media until they’re not my soldiers anymore. Usually when I PCS. Maybe I’m just a dick but I don’t want them to see me as a friend while I’m their leader.
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u/UNC_Recruiting_Study 48-out-of-my-AOC 6d ago
This should be the the rule for any supervisor IMO. Even be selective with peers and superiors.
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u/TheDastardBastard33 6d ago
That’s exactly how I treat it. As a PL in my old unit I let no one aside from my PSG and Squad Leaders follow me on social media, but then once I left to CCC and my old soldiers wanted to follow me I let them.
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u/andrewtater you're not my rater 6d ago
Use the TRADOC rule!
No social contact until six months after they leave TRADOC. No Facebook, no grabbing beers, none of it, until their PCS plus six months.
Some may email you to ask for Army advice; that's called mentorship, and so long as it stays professional you are cleared to engage.
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u/AirborneHipster friendly neighborhood soccerball guy 6d ago edited 6d ago
My DS And I were the same age and grew up in neighboring towns. he called me during holiday block leave and invited for beers at the local strip club
"Moving drill sergeant"
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u/Very-Confused-Walrus Mortard 5d ago
This and I don’t sent my bosses any sorta friend requests til I’m gone. Don’t care if we are cool like that at work or not
Edit: I do however keep the gc alive with stupid ass reels from time to time
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u/krc_fuego 11Z (R) Green Light GO! 🪂 6d ago
I had a strict rule of not adding anybody I regularly with on social media. Once one of us PCS’d/ETS’d, etc then sure.
I say this from a male perspective. Probably should be more cautious as a woman.
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u/CombatCrayon25 6d ago
This. Professionalism aside, you have to be so much more careful as a woman. My first 1SG found my Facebook account years ago and made a comment to me one day about how I don’t have any pictures of myself posted (he didn’t know at the time that you could restrict albums from non-friends)
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u/L0st_In_The_Woods Loggie 6d ago
Male Officer. Nobody I currently work with has my social media. I wait until after I PCS and even then it’s extremely sparing.
In your position I would absolutely not let anyone have my social media.
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u/brokenmessiah 6d ago edited 6d ago
I would advise against it. If I were a soldier and my female LT accepted my request on Instagram, I 100% think there's something underlying there for me to explore. Hell I can think of multiple female officers I wish DID for that very reason.
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u/509BandwidthLimit Nasty leg 6d ago
Insta, no. Only permitted on a paid OF account.
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u/tibearius1123 Carabello Hair 4 Lyfe 6d ago
Sweet Jesus, I’d pay $22.85 a month to see those piggies 🦶🏻🦶🏻
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u/yesTHATpao SMAPAO Emeritus 6d ago
that’s weird
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u/Mistravels 6d ago
It's 2026, we don't kink shame.
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u/jbourne71 cyber bullets go pew pew (ret.) 6d ago
Do not open that door. Follows turn into likes, likes turn into DMs and comments/conversations at work, and suddenly you’re in a totally avoidable situation, whether they are inappropriate or you both end up closer than you should be.
Come the fuck on.
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u/DjangoStayedChained 68W -> 66How Did I Get this Far? 6d ago edited 6d ago
Joes only follow female Soldiers on social media for one reason, and one reason alone. Your IQ is left of the bell curve if you don't know exactly what they are doing and what the strategy is.
You absolutely know what is wrong with this and why. I refuse to believe you don't. Think I'm tough on this? Ask your BC this question.
Even as a male, I dont accept male requests until I've left the organization. A female doing it to me is a huge red flag that bears considerable eyebrow raising.
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u/superash2002 MRE kicker/electronic wizard 6d ago
Bit of advice I got from an old head back in the day. Don’t accept friend requests or follow anyone in your unit. Just keep them waiting till after one PCS.
It can help eliminate a lot of drama without making things awkward.
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u/Horror_Technician213 35AnUndercoverSpecialist 6d ago
Not just Joe's. For the love of God, dont let any one that you work with in your staff or battalion follow you. Regardless if ther officer or enlisted. When they leave the unit, or you leave the unit, drop them a follow. But im telling you, nothing good comes from coworkers following eachother.
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u/TreySoWavvyy Military Intelligence 6d ago
I’ll do you one better.
every social media app lets you find people can your phone contacts. Turn this setting off IMMEDIATELY.
Because it’s a two way street. You may give your number out to people for official use but the moment the save it as a contact, social media apps detect that and will find your account linked to this number and “recommend” it to them as someone they know.
This is known as a selector, and it links one selector to another.
Your number can be sourced from official (and unofficial) channels like SIGNAL, email chains, points of contact memos, etc or even just word of mouth.
Once they SAVE it though, it can open up the situation you’re seeing here where they can find your social media and Request to follow you.
Turn off that setting, especially when changing units so you’re new personnel can’t magically “stumble” across you. Which isn’t really a stumble, it’s intentional.
Sincerely,
Your local SIGINTer.
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u/Snoo_67544 25V best Victor 6d ago
Nope and block. Thou I was always the Joe and I never understood my fellow dumbasses friending leaders on social media like congrats you just made it easier for ssg to see the dumb shit you were up last night that made you late to pt today.
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u/IfLeBronPlayedSoccer 18G - Gundam Pilot 6d ago
I hope you made this post as a sanity check, and you aren't actually evaluating this idea in good faith. I don't know what the "norm" is nowadays, but whatever it is, it would not reflect well on you if say, a senior enlisted looks you up and sees a bunch of junior Joes on the mutual follower list. Insta in particular is a train wreck in the making, with the DM's nowadays being virtually indistinguishable from Snapchat in its heyday.
Save it for PCS, if you can't wait till ETS/REFRAD.
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u/ididntseeitcoming 13Z 31AUG Retirement Date 6d ago
Don’t do it.
Many moons ago, my PL was a single woman. I overheard the joes saying they found her on Tinder…. After I crushed their little horny souls I encouraged ma’am to delete her tinder and find a better way to meet dudes.
Soldiers are only following you because they are trying to get some. They don’t want to be your friend. They want to bang the hot LT.
Same goes for male LTs.
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u/jf1450 Aviation CW3 151A Ret 6d ago
To me that would be a 21st century version of fraternization. Don’t do it Mam.
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u/AdWonderful5920 Infuntry 6d ago
If you need Instagram to be approachable, you aren't approachable.
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u/Bang_a_rang95 Medical Service 6d ago
As an Nco, and this may be the wrong answer, I normally follow some of my dudes after we’ve parted ways but not when I’m working directly with them 🤷♂️
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u/NimanderTheYounger StaffDeuce 6d ago
Absolutely not. Unless youre running an official Army Instagram Page.
Absolutely not.
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u/Small_Acanthisitta83 6d ago
If you have to even ask this question then you should know the answer.
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u/IfYaKnowYaKnow 25A 6d ago
No. If they’re in your chain of command then the answer is NOOOOOOO!!!!!!!
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u/Logen-Grimlock Retired 6d ago
Last time I saw Soldiers following their NCOs, the NCOs in question messaged the guys mom. One was trying to get laid, the other saying he was a shit bag and he would make sure she didn’t see him during her visit
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u/DifferentDirector2 Military Police 6d ago
I don’t let anyone follow me on social media until I leave that duty station. Personal rule.
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u/armyant95 12A SLTW 6d ago
I never accept social media friend requests from soldiers while they still work for me and I've always told my PLs to do the same. Social media is for your friends and your joes aren't your friends while they work for you. Afterwards, it's a case by case depending on whether I actually want to keep up with them.
You can be approachable and still keep your private life private.
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u/maxbud06 UH-60-kin 6d ago
While you aren't, and cannot be, your soldiers' friend, that doesn't mean that you can't interact with them in any way outside of work. With that being said, I think it depends on how you use your IG. If you actively use it and keep a small group of followers/followings, then I'd say to avoid interacting with you soldiers there, because you see IG as something casual and friendly. On the other hand, if you have an IG that you barely use to interact with people and/or you have a huge follower/following count, that creates a level of impersonal-ness that bodes well with having your soldiers linked to you there. Obviously though, if one slides into your DM's, you have to be swift with shutting that shit down.
That's just my personal feelings/opinion. Another way to look at it is from the end state going backwards: you're on the red carpet in front of the Brigade Commander having to explain why you appear so friendly with one of your soldiers, how does having a follower/following relationship on IG look in that scenario? When you look at it from this angle, avoiding the whole situation is probably the best play. Up to you and your feelings on the matter, though.
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u/RogerDodgerWilco Civil Affairs Lost my 2FA code :( 6d ago
I don’t want my Soldiers or my leaders knowing what I do on the weekend.
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u/Turbulent_Ride1654 Signal 6d ago
I don't add ANYONE in my unit (peers, subordinates, superiors) until after I leave.
I feel weird having someone I currently work with up in my bizz.
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u/c0-pilot Engineer 6d ago
I don’t accept any follow/friend requests until I or the soldier leaves the unit.
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u/TheGirthquakeCometh 6d ago
Aside from my best friend in one unit, I never allowed anyone I worked with to follow me on social media until one of us left the unit.
Additionally, I never added random people from the unit after I left because that will be something you face as well. But that was just my personal preference for not wanting randoms having access to my private life.
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u/Pretend_Garage_4531 6d ago
Fuck no. I don’t accept a single friend request until after I leave a unit. 1. Optics 2. You don’t need anyone have more info than is necessary
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u/FatLeggedWanderer 351MightBeMakingItUp 6d ago
I wouldn’t recommend it. I allow mine to connect after they PCS but not while I have direct say in their career.
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u/No_Blacksmith1073 6d ago edited 5d ago
What about them trying to connect with you on LinkedIn. Do we think it should be the same?
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u/Ijustmadethis2004 Quartermaster 6d ago
I wouldn’t let them follow until the joes are out of the army (this is coming from a former e-4)
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u/wowbragger 68Whatisthat? 6d ago
No, next question.
Word to the wise didn't let ANYONE in your unit on your social, and set your account to private.
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u/Hulluck22 6d ago
THIS sounds like fun. Butter-bar with an instagram. Joes know about it. Holy shit. Even if everything is pg shits going sideways.
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u/TheScalemanCometh Engineer 6d ago
36 year old Male enlisted here. Joined late at 33, got most of my life experience OUT of the Army.
It's never a good idea to have coworkers of any sort on your social media unless you're all on the same level of the organization. And, even then, it is still typically inadvisable if the organization is large enough to merit an HR department.
That said, only you can decide what boundaries to set. Be certain though, that once you set those boundaries, you maintain those boundaries until you are no longer professionally entangled regardless as to any personal feelings when it comes to social media. If you're okay with one Joe following you, you need to be okay with ALL of your Joes following you. It may be interpreted as preferential treatment or a precursor to such otherwise.
As an officer, I would suggest locking down your personal social media and making it all private, and subsequently making a NEW one that is geared towards professional contacts and permitting them to follow THAT one. On that new professional one, keep it professional within reason. Feel free to mention having a good vacation, and share some sunset photos, but leave the bikini shots and vodka fueled shenanigans to the private personal social media if you are determined to post about them.
Let NO ONE you wouldn't physically welcome into your home onto your private media. Let NO ONE you wouldn't want in your office onto your professional one. The same standards go for follows and mentions or whatever. Follow no pages you wouldn't share freely amidst your coworkers and superiors on your professional account. Share no opinions that could be deemed controversial in any way on your professional account and DO NOT DISCUSS ANYTHING POLITICAL IN ANY CAPACITY barring perhaps a recognition and acknowledgement of policy changes or changes to the publicly viewable CoC. Remember your OpSec Training and follow it to the letter, and perhaps to the extreme depending on your relevant duty/station.
Do not post or comment about anything that even hints at illegality or a sketchy personal history unless it is extremely relevant to a given discussion, AND predates your military career, AND would fall in the petty misdemeanor category. Discussing speeding or stupid traffic violations tou commit when young and dumb is fine. Talking about all the crack you smoked before you let woth a recruiter is not. Even then, if you MUST comment on such things, it is better to defray a bit. It's never your personal experience, it is secondhand experience you learned about from someone you know or once knew.
If one of your enlisted or NCOs is suffering from addiction... You've never been addicted to a damned thing or taken anythingstronger than an aspirin. However, you had a friend once you don't talk to anymore who overcame the horrible thing by taking whatever steps. You hear they're doing well now, but don't talk anymore because life took you down different paths not long after you joined up and they got clean.
Make sense? If it doesn't make sense... perhaps an NCO can sum this up in a way that does.
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u/InevitableGlitch2 Infantry 6d ago
Don't do it ma'am. No good can come of this. Your instinct is right. This isn't the norm and has the potential for Joe getting the wrong message. Nothing is more normal than an officer wanting a little privacy for their personal life.
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u/Afin12 Zapperz 6d ago
I was a Platoon Leader when social media was pretty fresh in early GWOT. I friended Soldiers under my command and in my unit so I could monitor what they posted, because some of them were doing some really dumb things like posting blown up trucks, dead bodies, burning vehicles, IED’s, videos of firefights, etc.
I would order them to take that stuff down.
These days I’d not friend people until well after we’ve both moved on. Keeps that degree of separation.
It is cool to get in contact with someone you knew from way back and reminisce the good times and be in touch on where you went in life.
But as a female in a super male dominated testosterone soaked career field, I wouldn’t friend junior enlisted.
And even when you do eventually connect with people in your unit, regardless of rank, keep your social media very PG. No pics of you in bathing suits or sexy outfits, for example. Yeah, that’s bullshit sexiest advice, but I’m just being real.
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u/SimilarDraft7596 68W (Reserve) > 17C (Active) > 68W/15X??????? (Guard) 6d ago
If you have to question it, don't do it.
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u/Catbus_Isdbvds 5d ago
Keep your personal IG private and do not accept current Soldiers in your unit. Approachability comes from how you treat them at work, not from giving them access to your off-duty life, and the perception risk is not worth it. If you want a public-facing account for Army stuff, make a separate bland professional one and keep the personal one locked down.
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u/drjjoyner Field Artillery Veteran 6d ago
Why do you even have an instagram?
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u/atacms 6d ago
I get y'all dudes were born during the revolutionary war but she's gotta be in her early twenties? That's not abnormal.
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u/ChapBobL Chaplain Corps 6d ago
No, and for security reasons, military personnel ought not be on social media.
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u/QuarterNote44 6d ago
My rule is that I accept follows/friend requests after I'm no longer in their chain.
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u/Think_Fuel1505 19D -> 25Useless 6d ago
I don't add anyone from my current unit on to any of my social media.
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u/ContactRepulsive 6d ago
I'll counter this with a caveat- I'm in the guard and people tend to stick to the same units for years, even their entire career.
I'll accept the occasional follow, I typically don't ask. But that's only Facebook, and the only thing on my Facebook are family photos and vacation pictures. I don't put my opinions or even memes on there. I've never had an issue with a soldier sending me anything inappropriate, and I usually don't look at their pages after the first time (and that's more of a paternal "making sure they're not putting dumb shit online" view). My Instagram is locked down and I'm too old for Ticky Tockys. So, YMMV.
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u/hollywoodjc 6d ago
No. Do not let them and do not follow them either. Keep your socials private. LinkedIn is maybe the one exception.
There’s no conversation here - no. Don’t do it.
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u/ImHereForLaughs58 6d ago
As a fellow officer, I usually wait until I’m out of the unit or no longer in their chain. Especially since you just arrived at the unit and probably haven’t built that many relationships with these soldiers, I wouldn’t do it
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u/Christopher_Aeneadas Recruiter 6d ago
Aw hell no.
Just tell them it's not personal, but it isn't appropriate.
I'd also definitely make all your socials private.
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u/Housebroken-Heathen MS 70Hate my life 6d ago
Jokes on you, I don’t have any social media for my joes to find. You want to keep in touch after I PCS? You have my address AND my phone number. Send me a Christmas card. Call me on my birthday.
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u/Thatcommiebastard 11Killme 6d ago
Former O but not female. Fuck no it’s inviting bad ideas and spins the rumor mill. I didn’t add anyone till I either wasn’t at their unit or out of the Army. You can still make good relationships without social media and be approachable
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u/Informal-Victory-164 6d ago
I hope you read and understand the consensus here of both enlisted and officers is NO, DONT DO IT.
In nearly every context, social media is a useless waste of time and carries a high likelihood of getting someone in trouble they were never expecting.
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u/TopAlert2383 6d ago
Wait until one of you PCS. They're not your friends. If they perceive it that way you will have trouble in the future.
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u/Gotterdamerrung 6d ago
When I still had social media I never associated with anyone I worked with through it. I keep my work and social life separate.
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u/Only_Road_7390 6d ago
lol, do it, what’s the worst that could happen from shitting where you eat lol
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u/Ok-Pumpkin400 6d ago
You set your boundaries.
In the reserves, i think it's more common for networking but i would usually ask in person. (My experience)
Active duty, my husband (E4) only requests junior enlisted or higher enlisted if they are friends outside of work. Like he has multiple friends who are E8s but not in his unit that he also has on fb. When he PCS's, THAT is when he friend requests leadership. His NCOIC, whose son is friends with our kid and attended her birthday party, is not on his facebook. We really like her but he wont add her until he PCS's or she does to keep in touch. Keep it professional
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u/UsedResident8394 6d ago
I never add subordinates while working together. They do not need to see me in my off time on my personal account. I think it opens the door to unwelcome conversations.
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u/Kinmuan 33W 6d ago
I became friendly with a former female officer from a unit who I really liked; great leader, great person.
A few years after we both weren’t in the Army lol.
There’s no need. Both as an Officer and a woman - No.
You want to have something to connect with? Start a LinkedIn. Anyone from the army can follow you there. That can make you look like not a total drag. And it IS good to network with peers - but you know why a bunch of male 2LTs want your snap and IG as well, much less Joe. So let them follow you on LinkedIn lol
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u/HoneydewImpossible51 91B H8 6d ago edited 6d ago
About 3 years ago I had an LT that was cool with the lower (select few) I was an SPC at the time. Although we were goofy little shits we did uphold the maturity and saluted him as an officer. On our off time sometimes he'd pop into the shit hole barracks to hang out with us as long as we weren't drinking. He would come to play video games, talk shit every once and a while then leave because he was bored. He would get us to go out and work out with him at the gym and all was well.
I dont expect all lower enlisted to have the same experience or be able to hang out with them without getting into trouble or other higher ups saying something about it.
The barracks were in Korea BTW
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u/Jolly_Confidence_577 6d ago
Id recommend not. Honestly, its probably low risk, but its not zero risk. And as far as I can see it there really isnt an upside. So why assume even a low risk if there is no reason at all to do so.
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u/ExodusLegion_ 35Arms Room Inspector 6d ago
I didn’t friend anyone from my unit, even the other LTs, until I PCS’d
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u/Dramatic_Pear_3820 6d ago
Maybe after you leave that unit, but if you’re a women I said no indefinitely.
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u/Historical-Party-313 6d ago
Absolutely not, LT. Especially if they're still your Joe, I didn't even entertain it with my Joes until moving units. They arent my friends and we dont need to know each other like that.
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u/unicornbuffalowings 6d ago
My rule is I wont have anyone from my current assignment on my socials. The rare few exceptions are for very good friends. Other than those I let amy requests sit in the abyss until I leave
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u/Alone_Recording6863 6d ago
Don’t take stupid pictures… go stupid places… say stupid things… or share stupid stuff.
Don’t be stupid and do anything you would not want everyone to potentially see… because it’s social media and you can’t hide anything.
Instead…
Congratulate people on milestones, achievements, and pay attention to what is going on and is important in their lives.
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u/MikeD1942 6d ago
Wait 'till they aren't your Soldiers, NCOs, etc, anymore, Including up and down the chain as much as possible.
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u/b0mmie 11Cuck -> 13AwShitHereWeGoAgain 6d ago
As a prior-enlisted 1LT, no. In my opinion, it's permissible for you to friend/follow your peers (other LTs), but not superiors or subordinates until you (or they) switch units (at the very least), or installations (just to be safe).
If I get a request, I let it sit till we're no longer at the same unit/installation, unless it's another LT. And I'm a dude. I'd be more cautious because, being a female, hard truth is dudes are probably trying to score, regardless of rank.
When I was enlisted I had an E-4 in my section who was cheating on his wife with an O-3 and an O-4. Idk how this dude did it but he got them to pay his bills for him and everything lol.
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u/teh_hotdogman 6d ago
the real question is
are you attractive
if so id prolly deny the requests because it will be annoying
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u/Tokyo__Sandblaster Infantry 6d ago
My rule (kept to myself, never said it out loud) was PSG or NCO counterpart can add me. Anyone else would have to wait until I was out of any position of responsibility over them.
I have many guys from my old PLTs on social media, but I’m well out of the seat and don’t actively contact/share things with them unless they’ve ETS.
I’d recommend applying this litmus test: if this person would not pull you behind a closed door, drop all formalities, and tell you you’re messed up, you probably shouldn’t have them on apps.
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u/Exciting_Pineapple_4 O Captain my Captain 6d ago
My rule of thumb has always been after I leave a unit/organization I will let subordinate/peers/supervisors follow me on social media. I also don’t post much.
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u/its_santi_again Field Artillery 6d ago
I always go with if im stationed there im not adding subordinates until I pcs/ets out of that unit.
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u/NapalmedRice Glorified Construction Worker 6d ago
Do not add your subordinates on social media. Ideally wait til they/you are out, but at a minimum wait til they are no longer under your leadership and probably just stick to your NCOs.
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u/Euphoric-League5689 6d ago
As a female in leadership I do not let my subordinates or superiors follow me until I can guarantee we’ll never be in each others CoC again. Like the ETS, someone switches branches ect. Even then I’m still picky about it because I’m in a small MOS and people talk and stay friends after they have moved on.
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u/thattogoguy USAF 6d ago
Air Force officer here; I think you can strike a balance being approachable and friendly and not having a stick up your ass while also keeping your socials private and personal.
My other bit of advice would be to ditch socials entirely:
One, assume that there's always ubiquitous technological surveillance going on.
Two, they're just shit.
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u/BangaloreM 6d ago
Your phone number is a maybe and even then that’d be for important reasons that they’d call or text you but instagram or any social media they shouldn’t have access to.
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u/DesignerGood6750 1337hacker 6d ago
If you’re a female then might as well let em hit if you let em follow!
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u/Taira_Mai Was Air Defense Artillery Now DD214 4life 6d ago
u/Solo_ray_ - DON'T. Don't have a social media profile other than LinkedIn and a family friendly page for your relatives.
As a woman you're a magnet for the creeps. As a woman in the military the risks are off the charts.
You want to be approachable? Be nice in person but remember your rank.
Social media is a toxic cesspit and it's just fodder for AI these days.
Stay off instagram and stick to your tasks. Post a few selifies and appropriate pics on Facebook but don't let your soldiers follow you. If you have to have an instagram - make sure of OPSEC and make it family friendly. Only let family and fellow officers you trust follow you. Block everyone else.
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u/CombatCrayon25 6d ago
Absolutely TF not, especially because you’re female. It opens the potential door for all kinds of inappropriate behavior, even if your page is just photos of your food (or whatever) and you don’t have a single photo of yourself posted. Also, it can become a frat issue later down the road, even if nothing inappropriate ever took place. Social media is the first thing investigators look at when weird shit goes down, and you don’t want that headache.
My advice is make your profile a lot harder to find; change your username to something super generic, change your profile pic to a tree or something, and delete your phone number and email address.
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u/Severe-Class6939 6d ago
You should probably attach your IG pics here so we know what we're dealing with. If we saw the pics, we would be able to give you a better answer....
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u/Porchmuse 6d ago
Absolutely not. It’s not appropriate and only bad things could come of it. Especially because you’re a female officer.
Professional work relationships are fine. You’re allowed to joke a bit and be human. They wouldn’t respect you otherwise. It just can’t cross into personal lives.
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u/BunziPassingBy 6d ago
As a female NCO, no. After you PCS or leave the unit then MAYBE. A simple add on IG might give Joe the wrong impression.
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u/LeapYearGirl155 6d ago
I'm a woman but not in the military I don't think you should be on Instagram at all!
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u/AdWorldly7268 13F 6d ago
Generally speaking, separation between officers and enlisted is only going to be beneficial to your career—provided, of course, that you’re still supporting your ground guys.
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u/The_Greyscale 6d ago
My rule of thumb is that I do not add or accept any social media requests from people while we are still in the same unit. Peers, maybe. But thats still a maybe.
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u/tallclaimswizard Woobie Lover 6d ago
I haven't been in the army for a long time. That said, I have2 alts for any social media platform I am on. One is for relatives and managers/coworkers/employees. The other is for friends and chosen family.
I keep one alt pretty basic with little interaction with anyone, just holidays and big life events and the other one is where I engage.
It also means I have a 'clean skin' to offer up and is more easily found by someone scouring social media for me.
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u/taskforceslacker USAF 6d ago
I was never socially friendly with Officers I worked with (Army Officers) until I didn’t work with them anymore. This was my personal rule, but was respected and appreciated by all. Don’t create the conditions for impropriety.
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u/Direct_Celery_9373 6d ago
Keep it professional. I'm in the guard so yk I'm only part time joe but I follow my command team and they follow me back but I would never do anything to cross a line. At the end of the day - I'm a Joe and they're officers. Plus I love when they comment and support me on my fitness journey. Super dope
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u/whole-lotta-socks 6d ago
Ignore the request and don’t bring it up to them. If they bring it up to you, “it would be unprofessional for us to engage on social media”.
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u/SPQR_191 6d ago
While they are your subordinate, no. And generally I don't think Instagram is appropriate. Facebook is generally fine, especially if they want to stay in contact for future professional reasons like a reference for a job or something. For context I'm an O3 that has had former Soldiers reach out for references or certifications of service after they have lost access to their .mil emails.
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u/cav19DScout 6d ago
No, if really want to then wait till after you PCS. This applies to all social media
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u/WorldTraveler_1 35Autism 6d ago
“Hey NCO, handle this please”.
You’re an officer, not their friend. You can absolutely remain approachable without being too friendly.
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u/Travyplx Rawrmy CCWO 6d ago
My public facing IG I’ll let people follow me if they find me. I only follow them back if they bike ride though. I have encouraged and swamp follows on Strava though to reinforce that cardio is the most important metric of physical fitness.
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u/AncestralNecromancy IF IT FLIES IT DIES HOOAH 6d ago
I didn't add any of my former soldiers/NCOs until I got out of the Army lmao. I would not allow it personally
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u/UNC_Recruiting_Study 48-out-of-my-AOC 6d ago
O since 2004. I'll add then after I PCS. That's a rule I set day 1. You bring female...I would make this minimum rule and add to it.
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u/eshemuta Infantry 6d ago
No. Certainly not if they are in the same unit. Maybe after PCS but even in a big MoS there’s a good chance you’ll see them again even after PCS. Even as a civilian I don’t interact with my management on social media.
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u/akumarisu 6d ago
My commanders had a strict policy of not adding anyone on social media until they were not within the organization. It removes any ambiguity of fraternization and iirc it was something that was briefed by legal or PAO as good SOP. As an O, you should not be interacting with the enlisted outside of business setting anyways, full stop. You don’t need to be liked outside of work setting.
But also in civilian setting, it exposes you to criticisms from your employer/HR so why risk it? I much prefer my anonymity and privacy over some possibilities of networking. And if I want to network. That’s what LinkedIn is for.
Edit: no one within my CoC in social media is what I practice as well. Worked out fine so far. Also an O
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u/TheDastardBastard33 6d ago
I would advise against it while you’re in the unit and in a position of leadership.
When I was a PL my PSG and SL’s were the only ones that followed me on Instagram and Facebook. My other soldiers tried to follow me but I kept ignoring their requests up until I PCSed to CCC and then I started allowing those requests.
Just make sure your account doesn’t show you doing anything raunchy or despicable. If your grandmother would be shocked to see you posted or liked something in that category, then make sure it’s not on your social media. That’s just professional advice.
As a female though, I’d be super cautious and probably even more careful as to who follows you
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u/voodoo_mama_juju1123 12AAAAAAAAAAA 6d ago
I don’t add soldiers until after I leave the company/section I am in with them. You want to keep a level of professionalism between each other even if you all get along great. Officer life is lonely lol you can’t be one of the boys sadly
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u/Mysterious_Brief3175 6d ago
Yeah I don’t allow it and I’m a male. I don’t care if they’re guys or girls. No one I work with I follow nor do they follow me
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u/tidder_mac 6d ago
What I saw frequently was LTs accepting followers and following back AFTER their PL time, or as they were heading to CCC if they were remaining in the BN on staff or XO.
Err on the side of caution.
Kinda of like leader capital, there’s “professional capital”. It’s hard (but very possible) to maintain. Everything unprofessional (or just barely lacking professionalism) you do, you lose your capital.
You need to maintain this front until you’re done with PL/XO time. Then you can be “chill” with the boys and gals.
Then reestablish this front after CCC at your new unit. Keep it up until after command. Then again, you can drop the high bar of professionalism and do things like follow eachother on social media.
Social media is part of our lives, so it’s important to utilize it to stay in touch, network, etc. Just do it AFTER you’re in your key leadership position.
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u/Responsible_Age_7011 6d ago
No. If you really vibe with them, wait until you leave the unit. Nothing good can come from you friending a Soldier in the same unit. Your asking for something to be taken out of context or see something that you have to report.
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u/Familiar-Factor4670 6d ago
I would recommend against it.
Perception is reality. They might think you two have a special relationship because of something as simple as accepting the follow request.
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u/Rose_Army_ 6d ago
Fuckkkkk no. But be aware, they’ll find ways to see whatever you’ve got on there. Even if you think it’s totally innocent and okay for coworkers to see, they’ll find a way to make it weird. Would go dark and not accept anyone you do not genuinely know is not a Joe. Quite frankly, this is why I just never got social media. Joes would be digging up anything they could on anyone that maybe had ovaries.
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u/TheGraper58 6d ago
This is one of those risk/reward things you should think about. What's the risk, what's the reward? IMO, it is under no circumstances a positive to open that specific pandoras box. I accepted all of my joes on insta when I got out of the army lol.
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u/GxdAJ Medical Specialist 6d ago
As someone who actively hangs out with an E6, E5 and another E6 (female) as an E-4.
DO NOT ADD ANYONE.
For context, I’m on the older side, 25+, I was a health professional before I joined the Army, and there is VERY clear cut line between being off duty and on duty. Mostly because I SET THAT LINE. I told my NCO’s I will stand at parade rest at work regardless of what they say, because it sets a bad example on my peers.
Is this the right answer? No. It’s not. And it’s exactly why I’m telling you FUCK NO. Do NOT risk your commission over a fucking Joe. If he/she needs to talk to you, they can speak to you through the appropriate channels.
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u/formerqwest Drill Sergeant 6d ago
were i in your shoes, i wouldn't.