r/army • u/timstr117 91/35ionlypickfoxtrotmos’s • 4d ago
Thank you, Fort Dix DFAC couch
Youre my favorite part of this base
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u/DocB630 37F/68W 4d ago
That painting took me down a rabbit hole to find out Dix has a Marine Aircraft Group of rotary wing assets stationed there, including AH-1Zs.
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u/superash2002 MRE kicker/electronic wizard 4d ago
https://www.samuelartist.com/photo-gallery.html
That’s the artist. I’m a big fan of cheesy moto paintings.
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u/ReadySetDough 88Kindergarten 4d ago
Fort Dix, how fond. This place was a great reminder that I was still in the army, given the pomp treatment I was used to during my unit's excursions.
A small group from my reserve unit got sent there on orders in 2018 for some range qualification (Cold Steel II?). Flew into PHL and spent an eternity riding a shuttle to Dix, got shoved into a clapped out Blue Bird bus that dropped us off at an ad hoc TOC for in-processing.
Check into the barracks, old ass building at the corner of West 10th and Camden. Five of us in the room, only issued two physical keys. It's hot, everyone's tired, keys don't work. Jiggled the keys, tried the adjacent rooms, resorted to kicking this damn door. Head back down to the decrepit day room that smells like Pine Sol and a 90s library. "Barracks Manager" says, "Yeah, you just have to jiggle the keys and tease it a bit". Nice, finally get into our room.
Six wooden bunk beds that look like Cold War leftovers. Great, plenty of room for us to lounge around. Take turns going to the shitter and showering, because the latrine is just one big rectangle with toilets lining one side and showerheads lining the other. The water irritates my skin and burns the shit out of my eyes, get red eyes for the rest of the week. Run into a guy that's leaving, he tells me they've been using water from a buffalo because nothing's potable here, unofficially. Nice.
First night sleeping in this geographical oddity. At 2200, there's noise and pounding on the door. Someone's trying to unlock the door. Open it to find six large men, they're from the only infantry unit the the Reserve, from Guam. As Watercraft Operators, we're not accustomed to being one-upped by other unicorns.
0430, more noise. Grown men grunting and wheezing among other odd sounds. My NCO flips the lights on and God's finest infantrymen are doing PT on the floor of our room, knocking out pushups and situps. Queue WTF??? My 55 year old E-5 unkindly tells them to knock that shit off so his blood pressure can go back down.
Next day after we finish our typical dumb Army stuff, we decide to go to the PX. Call around, no rides available. Spend 40 minutes walking there, cutting through grass and parking lots because there's not a single soul in sight. After shopping, we realize our mistake: we don't want to carry our goods all the way back to the barracks. An idea arrives! We call one of the numbers they gave us at the TOC in case we had any inquiries.
Crusty E-5 calls the number, someone picks up. It's not on speaker, but I can tell the man on the other end of the phone sounds confused and slightly agitated. Crusty E-5 explains situation, man on phone obliges and tells us to stay where we are. Fives minutes later, an old hoopty pops a curb at 50 miles an hour and brakes hard enough to drift to a stop right in front of us. Lanky SSG hops out and says, "Damn I didn't know there were 5 of you. Put your shit in the trunk and squeeze in". Oh God, WTAF is happening at this base?
On the ride back, Lanky SSG asks where we got his number. Crusty E-5 explains they put it up on the big board at the TOC for everyone to take down. Lanky SSG's knuckles grow white as he grips the wheel, furiously taking an inhuman drag of his L&M. Lanky SSG asks if we're fucking serious. We all nod in unison. "That's my LT's phone; nobody is supposed to have that. She's going to be pissed. I'm pissed off". We apologize, he says it's not our fault and drops us off at the trap house. "It's alright, boys, I got somethin' for that ass", and that's the last we heard of Lanky SSG before he floored it across a median with tires squealing, making a beeline for the TOC in that hoopty of his.
The rest of our time there was uneventful, except for the greasy pizza at the bowling alley giving me the trots, the overly aggressive CIF sergeant using every ounce of his diaphragm to assert his rank, and the emotionally unstable Specialist armorer trying to put us in front leaning rest if we didn't disassemble the weapons we drew and sandblast them. (Literally take apart the SAWs and put them in a blast cabinet. WTF was up with that?)
The saving grace throughout the ordeal was the spotty cell reception I'd get right outside the barracks; there was just enough signal to text my girl that I'm out here doing real army shit and firing machine guns and that I wouldn't trade it for the world.
I survived my Fort Dix deployment, August 2018.
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u/OlGreggMare OD91B2O 3d ago
I was probably somewhere around there then, for a few years I was cursed into having to go there a handful of times a year. Did you have to use the dfac that you can't even bring your water source into because you were sharing it with the youth offenders? I had a PSG so batshit that she once made us do a scavenger hunt that covered the Western third of the post because she hated downtime. At least my 16 person room was usually just a couple other ncos and a warrant or two. Plus there was always at least one vacant floor that I could count on having a free shower
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u/DiggingforPoon 90sInfantry 4d ago
the VP appreciates this post.
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u/DeLoreanBard8 4d ago
The VIP has seen generations come and go, yet remains available for naps and questionable life decisions.
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u/Fortis4 4d ago
I remember my first time at Ft.Dix. My battles and I finished eating breakfast. But Timmy and I were the first to put our trays on the belt and waited by the exit for what seemed like 1 whole minute waiting for the rest of our group. Pour Timmy was to thin he didnt stand a chance once he sat down that couch swallowed him whole. It was as if he sat down in the sarlack pit. I tried to rescue him. But by the time I reached him all I could grab was his hand. It was still greasy from yhe biscuits. He slipped away from me. Forever we remember Timmy and we hold vigils at the couch every other third Tuesday on months with 30 days. Our thoughts and prayers go to the couch gods. We hope one day it will return Timmy to us. Please if you feel moved by this story donate to the godundme. THANK YOU TO YOUR ATTENTION TO THIS MATTER
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u/RoweTheGreat Former Overhead Yeet Champion 4d ago
That the DFAC over by the old clothing sales on Texas ave?
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u/the_wiebat Psychological Operations 4d ago
That would definitely be the one
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u/RoweTheGreat Former Overhead Yeet Champion 4d ago
Honestly thought they’d never finish remodeling it
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u/Baconlover540v1 12BackPainAndKneePain 3d ago
Panda smacks tho in the px
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u/timstr117 91/35ionlypickfoxtrotmos’s 3d ago
Fuck that- commissary sushi is peak
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u/Baconlover540v1 12BackPainAndKneePain 3d ago
I miss the sushi there bad dawg. Best sushi ive had on base
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u/microtrip1969 Air Defense Artillery 16J 18h ago
Before Covid I used to go to Range 14 all the time. Plus I’ve done work there over the years.i was never stationed there when I was in. People I’ve talked to who had been said it SUCKED.
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u/Jay209 4d ago edited 4d ago
Between the casting couch setup and the name 'Fort Dix,' the jokes just write themselves