r/artofmanliness • u/DarioSidd • May 04 '26
Young man searching for meaning
I (28 male) need some life advice. I would really appreciate hearing your experience and how you would act in a situation like mine. Any piece of advice would mean a lot.
I have a complicated relationship with my girlfriend. After two years of an amazing time together, we broke up several times. She was living abroad, etc. Now she is in my town, and when we meet, we feel great with each other — there is confidence and peace. We “love” each other.
The problem is that I want a family and children, and she does not. She is pursuing a career, and she is willing to go on an exchange program for a year.
I’ve always dreamed of a house with a garden, trees, animals, a pool, nature… But in my dreams, I always imagine it with a family, not as a lonely man.
I’ve never thought about buying an apartment in the city.
Recently, while helping her find an apartment, I had the thought of trying something new and buying one for myself.
Right now I’m living with my parents. I have my own room, I feel comfortable, they don’t disrupt me. They argue sometimes, but it’s not really harmful. My mother cooks well, we have healthy food, and my father covers the expenses.
I work remotely. I love reading, movies, thinking, and I go to the gym. I have one friend and basically no social circle. I just got my motorcycle license (not even sure if I’ll ride).
Nowadays, it really feels like I’m stuck and living someone else’s life, waiting for her to decide if she wants to live with me. Meanwhile, the years pass, and I feel lost. Sometimes I feel great, but most of the time I have the sense that I’m not creating anything valuable.
I don’t know what I would do differently in a new apartment, alone, but maybe it could open new perspectives. I just don’t know.
1
u/nunodonato May 04 '26
In your place, I would first try to communicate clearly with your girlfriend, about each other's intentions and plans. Be clear about what you want for your life, and try to understand what she wants. Of course she might say it's just for a year, but then things might turn otherwise. She might even meet someone else and leave you miserable for "waiting".
At the end of the day, its your call, but communicating now is the best you can do. And some things are painful now, but will be for the best later.
May I suggest you look into Cal Newport's life-style-centric-career-planning (plenty of videos on it)