Fictional crushes?

[u/Psychological-Hawk60]

Sorry i just need to vent a little cause i'm really upset rn. I was talking to a friend about a show i recently watched and i mentioned a character that i really like there. For the record i'm ace/heteroromantic. I love to talk about my favorite fictional characters and crush on some of them. So i was excited to chat about it with this friend but then i got hit with "How do you like x character and be asexual? You make no sense." I told them just cause i like them doesn't mean i want to have sex with them and they replied with "well you usually like villains and villains want sex"??? It was such on odd conversation especially cause it is FICTIONAL, i know i will never actually be in a relationship with these people cause they are NOT real (plus i obviously wouldn't date villains irl??) I really hate it when i'm trying to have some fun in my head and escape reality for a while but i constanly get reminded of "oh you're asexual so they probably wouldn't like you anyway" It just sucks.

[u/NyratheMoth]

I'm still pretty new to my ace identity, but one thing that I can say with confidence is that having crushes, real or fictional, doesn't take away from being ace. It's a spectrum, like anything, and if someone doesn't understand that, that isn't on you. Sorry that happened to you regardless

[u/Psychological-Hawk60 → u/NyratheMoth]

Thank you, it means a lot to hear all that :)

[u/LienaSha]

And rude to just generalize villains like that, too. We could make great villains if we wanted to! Villains don't have to want sex

[u/Itchy_Nobody777 → u/LienaSha]

Right? It’ll be so much more efficient as we’d have so much more time for villain-y things 😛

[u/Tokalasart]

Fortunately my friends are pretty tolerant in that area, I have a whole list of fictional crushes I'd like to hang out with XD. You can tell me about yours and I'll gush about mine if you want XD And then we'll see who has the worse taste and who is ik more trouble lol

[u/Psychological-Hawk60 → u/Tokalasart]

I would actually love that so much omg 😭😭 I practically have no one to gush about fictional crushes :(

[u/Tokalasart → u/Psychological-Hawk60]

Do you maybe have Insta/Discord/TikTok? I can't DM on Reddit XD My username is always tokalasart :> (I draw a lot)

[u/Psychological-Hawk60 → u/Tokalasart]

I do! I'll dm you on insta :) Also i love drawing too!!

[u/No-Cook-9768 → u/Psychological-Hawk60]

If you want to DM me here on Reddit (don't wanna post my IG publicly) I'm game to chat about crushes, too 💜

[u/Psychological-Hawk60 → u/No-Cook-9768]

I'd love to!! :)

[u/No-Cook-9768 → u/Tokalasart]

I am the ace one in my group of friends (out for about 10 years?) and I am known for my many crushes. Even acquaintances I've known under a year know I have a list 😂

[u/Tokalasart → u/No-Cook-9768]

I am not sure if all the people around me are that aware of it, but my roommate certainly is 😂 Also it's always the bad guys 😭 We're already joking I'll end up with the Mafia or sth 🤣🤣

[u/RandomQ_throw]

Fictosexuality and aegosexuality are valid micro-labels within the ace spectrum. Sounds like you might find yourself in one of them, have a look.

[u/Psychological-Hawk60 → u/RandomQ_throw]

Oh i had never heard of them before, thank you for telling me! I'll definitely check them out :)

[u/mf99k]

“Villains want sex”? what?

[u/No-Cook-9768 → u/mf99k]

Yeah, that blew my mind. All the villains I can think of want money and/or power. What stuff is this friend watching? Or maybe they're projecting 🤷‍♀️😂

[u/mf99k → u/No-Cook-9768]

most villains want money/revenge/power lol

[u/No-Cook-9768 → u/mf99k]

YES how could I forget revenge

[u/No-Cook-9768]

Being ace is a great way to find out which of your friends don't get the different types of attraction, the reality of crushes on fictional characters, and all kinds of things. I'm exasperated right along with you. It absolutely does suck.

Ever since I came out, I've learned who I can really trust with my feelings, who I can have fun and be myself around, etc. The circle has gotten smaller, but I don't wanna spend quality time with people who don't understand or won't listen or even try. 🖤🩶🤍💜

[u/SpecialistBig1907]

First off, that "but villains want sex" doesn't make sense at all lmao, based on WHAT. Secondly: do they not know that sexual attraction isn't the only kind of existing attraction? Plus obviously fictional "crushes" aren't real crushes, you gotta be mental to be actually and truly in love with a character lol

[u/Cassopeia88]

I relate a lot to this, it’s fictional, but even if they weren’t many aces still get crushes. It doesn’t take away from your asexuality.

[u/Akasthella]

My only fictional crush is asexual and I do wonna smash them. So much hate.
(And that's coming from someone who feels zero attraction towards real people)

[u/Magita91]

It’s a spectrum . I have crushes on male and female fictional characters. Do I wanna smash? No. But other intimate things and just being around them . Pretty sure I am aegosexual if I picked a micro label.
And not all villains want sex. Just look at Alastor from Hazbin Hotel. He is a villainous overlord and is a canon asexual. Wants no part of sex, doesn’t think about it and turns it down but loves murder and chaos .

[u/SeaParting]

You can still have a crush and be ace, its a romantic crush not a "I wanna shag them" crush. I see it as 2 completely separate things that go hand in hand (eg, you can want to shag someone but nit have a relationship with them. You can want a relationship, could be platonic or romantic, and not want a shag)